Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Let me tell ya bout' the birds & the bees...

I was having a very funny discussion with some girlfriends the other night about how we each learned about sex and where babies come from...

Now, my mother is a very educated woman. Having a PhD, she thought taking the "medical" approach when trying to explain "the birds and the bees" to me and my sister was the way to go.... yeah, not so much.

She would say stuff like "That is the mucous membrane that partially blocks the entrance to the uterus in a young female...."

WHAT THE HELL?

I think she did use the word orgasm once and I asked her what that was? Her response, "Orgasm: A discharge of neuromuscular tension at the peak of sexual arousal that is usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen in the male and by vaginal contractions in the female..."

WHAT THE HELL?

Me being the resourceful type of girl, after this "talk" with my mother I want to the library and did a little research of my own. I remember, looking up & down the rows upon rows of books in the "health & wellness" section.

The first day I did my research, I only looked at the books on the shelf, I didn't dare take them out in fear of someone actually seeing me! The next day, I got a little more daring and slowly took out ONLY one book and slowly walked to the cooking section of the library.

I walked to a far corner, trying to act as though I was doing some very serious, very important research on cooking as I looked at this book. The book I happened to pull that day was the wonderful, very informative, really interesting, with full illustration, "Joy of Sex" I looked and looked and looked and looked some more, going through each and every page. Trying to figure out what the hell my mother was talking about.

She really got me with the whole "tab A goes in to slot B" thing. And what was "good touch, bad touch"? From what I could see, everyone in the pictures looked like they were really enjoying themselves...a lot...

Especially when I got a little more bold and went back to the "health & wellness" area and found a few more...Informative books with lots of pictures...you know, just to make sure I clearly understood...

The book that really helped me a lot was the book called "Daily Sex: 365 Positions and Activities for Great Sex " it is a very good book, hot pictures er I mean, helpful photos and text to explain...

Now that I think of it, maybe I should take a little trip to the library. It's been a long time since I've visited the "health & wellness" section. I mean, strictly for educational reasons of course... Who am I fooling? The books are hot, ok! It's like educational porn!

Anyone else think it's hot in here?...

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Where in the World is RevRee?????

I woke up at 4 freakin' 30 yeasterday morning to catch a flight. Since it's so damn expensive in my area, I had to drive 2.5 hours to catch a 8:30am departure, I cut it pretty damn close!

As I got to the security gate at 8:15am, ( I ran in to road construction and traffic on the way) I had to be stripped searched!!! That's right, I said stripped searched!!!

This hot Latino security guard asked me to step into this dark room where he slowly walked up behind me, reaching around and gently unbutton my blouse... Then I WOKE UP! And I was actually being asked by some amazon woman, to please remove my laptop from the case before she has to remove it for me!!!! (BITCH!)

I actually do get to the gate on time and catch my flight! When I arrive, I'm subjected to hours upon hours of meetings, all damn day. My feet were killing me, having to wear heels all day can really put a hurt on ya! (but, as momma said, it hurts to be beautiful...)

Finally I get to my hotel, but before I depart upstairs, the front desk clerk announces to me that Everything's on the house. So, "please feel free to order room service, it's on the company!"...

I get to my room and after a few minutes of dancing around my room naked, I turn on the tv and order some porn...

OK that didn't happen either. (Hahah that sounds like something Dyckerson would do!) I did however order the most expensive thing on the menu as well a the most expensive thing on the dessert menu! It totaled around, oh about one million dollars!

I took a few pictures before I stuffed my face and ate it all like a good girl!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

How NOT to pick up a chick at a bar 101

Recently I was at a local pub, visiting a friend of mine who happened to be the bartender for the night. It was a late evening, I was just out to share a drink before ending my night only to begin a another day.

Sitting at the corner of the bar drinking my October Fest, minding my own business. I see this man watching me, I of course attempt to make no direct eye contact with this gawking male.

Now, don't get me wrong. He wasn't a bad looking guy. As you know, I have no problems with a man finding me attractive or "checking me out", as they say. But, he just wasn't my type, I guess.

Eventually he makes his way to my little corner of the world, where I thought was a nice spot to visit my friend and not to be bothered, I was wrong!

I really wish someone would have told me that the corner of a bar counter was the spot that has a flashing neon sign that says "Talk to me, In need of attention, looking for some fun, HURRY SALE ENDS SOON!!!"

Gawking Male : Mind if I join you for a drink?

Me : Sure...

For some damn reason there was NO bar stools available anyplace!! So, he just stands at my side, VERY close by my side.

This folks, is where he begins to crash and burn.

Gawking Male: I'm sorry, if I'm bothering you just let me know...

This was being said after about 15 minutes had passed in silence from the time he walked over and asked to join me and then... BAM! he say's that.

How could he be bothering me? We weren't talking! He hadn't even told me his name, there was no interaction except his first request to join me. For all practical purposes I was still sitting alone. I thought to myself, "maybe he's just shy?"

Me: Oh, your fine. don't worry about it. (I was trying to be as kind as possible.)

Finely after it began to get a little weird, I extend my hand and introduce my self. Thinking that might break the proverbial ice and give him an opening for some kind of verbal communication... Boy do I regret that!

Me: I'm RevRee...

(He turns, seeming a bit startled.)

Gawking Male: Sorry, what did you say?

(As he gets as close to my face as humanly possible.)

It was kind of loud with music so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Mistake # two!

Me: RevRee, my name is RevRee...

Gawking Male: Oh, nice to meet you, I'm Steve...

We shake hands

Gawking Male/Steve: You have a hand shake like a man...

Me: thank you...? (I mean really, what am I suppose to say?)

Gawking Male/Steve: I'm sure you have guys asking to sit with you all the time, Huh?

Me: Oh you know, every once and a wile... (false modesty, right there ladies and gentlemen..HA!)

Gawking Male/Steve: Yeah right!

He burst out and then laughs loudly and grabs my arm wrapping his arms around mine and then proceeds to do some kind of, leaning and swing thing??? I'm pretty sure he read in a book some where...

Ok, let me try and give you a visual - by doing this technique you first let out this abrupt, obnoxious. laugh, trying to give the appearance that what had just been said, was so funny that you had to lunge forward as though it was "gut wrenchingly funny", swing across the "unsuspecting female's" chest and hold while laughing about 2 minutes to long.

After he had his little "episode" he swings back and says, " Woo, that was funny"

Now, I admit, at this point I was having a slight internal struggle.... I was torn between being completely turned off and annoyed but at the same time, finding this incredibly entertaining. So, I decided to stick it out for a while longer.

At this point we've known each other for about oh...45 minutes. the bartender (MY FRIEND WHO SHOULD HAVE RESCUED ME!) comes over to us and proceeds to tell us this joke. In the joke, it mentioned anal sex. (this was not the point of the joke but it was mentioned.)

After the joke was told we all laughed politely and the bartender went back to serving customers. (JERK)

Gawking Male/Steve: so, have you?

Me: Have I what?

Gawking Male/Steve: have you ever had anal sex?

The Hell!???

I look at him thinkin' to myself, "this guys a fucking weirdo!"

Me: Umm...well, have you? (trying to re-direct his question)

Gawking Male/Steve: Yeah, I tried it once.

Me: And how was it?

Gawking Male/Steve: it was ok. Not my favorite but, it wasn't so bad.

I decided, knowing full well he was referring to being with a women, to mess with him a bit.

Me: So, would you consider your self bi?

Gawking Male/Steve: What! No, not at all. I was with a women.

Me: Oh, So...did she put on a strap on or something? (I thought I'd pock and prod just a tad more..hahaha)

He of course scrambled to explain to me that he was the "giver not the receiver"

(Not that I gave a Rats Ass!)

All of this being said having to endure his lean and swing technique on multiple occasions. I soon learned, that one, was his favorite along with nestling his nose in my ear, stroking my hair, and playfully shoving me almost off my stool every time.

He was like a big dog that didn't understand why he couldn't sit on your lap.

The point in the night where he really struck out, was when the poor man told me how humiliating it was when his now ex-wife found him masturbating in they're bedroom in the middle of the day thinking she was still at work....

BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAH!!!!!

I felt for him, I really did. he got kind of quiet after that.

Poor guy...

Anyway, through the course of the night we managed to cover religion, politics, sex, abortion, death, heroin, his strange attraction to his kids babysitter, and his issues with his divorce.

And now we're at the point of the story where I ask, what have we learned from this...?

Well, I don't know about you, but I didn't learn a damn thing!

Except maybe, next time try a different seat at the bar. Oh, and make sure everyone is out of the house before attempting to masturbate...

Monday, September 18, 2006

HAPPY MONDAY!!!!!

Because it's Monday, I'm still dragging from the weekend and I've been in meetings all day. I'm posting something just because it pisses me OFF!

Well, ok I don't want to piss you off too, but I hope you want to at least kick this fat kids ass as much as I do! He actually has his own damn wedsite???? I hope to god he isn't making money off this shit!



I have an idea, pay me money!!! I'll dance around, making a fool of myself, while singing crappy foreign happy hard core techno music!


HAPPY MONDAY!!!!!

Friday, September 15, 2006

Tangerine vodka shot & graffiti

Last night I went to the most shittiest, hell hole, on the bad side of town, blues bar in my entire life. Some friends of mine, go there every Thursday night and I never understood why the hell they would go to this dump. That was until last night...




It's open mic night, that means anyone can get up there, get in touch with their soul and sing a little blues. I have to first say that although I may have been slightly trashed, the musicians at this place were amazing, I was honestly impressed.

Anyway, right as I walk in to join my table, the night starts off with shots for everyone!

Now, I love to have a good time and shot's aren't so bad SOMETIMES, but I wasn't necessarily in the mood for them last night. Well, that didn't matter, I got a shot anyway. I was told the shot of choice for that evening was something like "tangerine vodka" it tasted like rubbing alcohol to me (not that I know that rubbing alcohol tastes like) The shots and drinks just kept coming, non stop. It wasn't my fault I swear!

The night was actually going quite well, when my friend "Lola" and I decided to use the restrooms. I'm still a bit disturbed and slightly intrigued about the whole experience. We walk in to the ladies bathroom, only to find the entire place tagged with drawings and writings plus the bathroom was absolutely spotless, I'm talking clean as a whistle folks (what the hell does that mean anyway?)

Some of the writings were too offensive even for me mention. (yeah, I'm surprised too!) Other's were really very profound. People were quoting John Lennon, Jesus, Mighty Dyckerson and even Mel Gibson. I was overwhelmed with such awe, I HAD to take some pictures for your viewing pleasure to share with my faithful blog readers.

I hope these are legible enough for you to read? If not, I have taken the time to translate each one for you below. Enjoy...


#1 #2

#3 #4

#1. "War is not the answer! Jesus tells us to turn the other cheek."

#2. "Knick knack patty whack, we all like to bone. If you don't have a big cock, then leave my pussy alone..."

#3. "Women are like tea bags. They don't know how strong they are until they're in hot water"

#4. "I HEART the Midnight Cowboy!"


Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Folks, something horrible has happened. Something so bad, so grotesque, I'm shaking as I try to type this post...

please bear with me. Oh god, I just want to warn you before reading ahead...

It all started this morning, I was making my usual blog rounds, I finally stopped at my part-time internets husband's blog and I found THIS!!

Something went wrong last night. I don't know what, but it's got me really scared! He's talking about playing the organ in church and helping homeless guys get good jobs! He's turned in to a pussy, peace making, charity working, adoptive father!

What happened to the totally demanding, asshole, bastard, womanizer, FUNNY, loud, obnoxious guy????

We need an intervention people. We need to set up a phone & blood bank to take donations, start making flyers, sending emails, ANYTHING! Whatever it takes! And by no means DO NOT let him see Yentle again! If you come across any movies such as Yentl, The Music man, Steel Magnolias, First Wives Club, Chicago, Working Girl or While You Were Sleeping. PLEASE destroy them at once! DO NOT LET Mighty Dyckerson near any of these movies.

I have a feeling he's starting to use body wash and Herbal Essence too. If this is true, we have a bigger problem on our hands... he's become more of a sensitive male then I first thought...

Monday, September 11, 2006

Tuesday, September 11th 2001

To day, I remember Anthony Hawkins. He was a 30 year old maintenance worker with cantor Fitzgerald, from New York City. His friends and family remember Anthony, ("BA" as his friends would call him) as a kind and warm hearted person. He never missed a good party and never came empty handed! I am proud to honor Anthony Hawkins on the 5 year anniversary of September 11th.

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As I remember, I think back to where I was that morning...

I was working the early morning show 5 years ago. We had just finished our last news break for the morning. We were in the process of having our usual post meeting, when all of a sudden we see that the network was breaking in with breaking news.

I stood there looking at a live picture from a skycam pointed at the world trade centers, as they broke in with live coverage. Bryant Gumbel was talking about a supposed plane flying in to one of the buildings. While network was airing this live picture, I see in the corner of the screen another plane about to hit the second tower...

The plane hits the second tower. All I heard was screams coming from the entire newsroom, from myself as well as the network announcer over the air. Never in my life have I seen such a emotional reaction coming from a newsroom, like I did that day. It hit everyone pretty deep inside.

Working in television news, you always have the thought that you've seen and heard everything and nothing can shock you, or tap in to your emotions. Not that day, that day my heart hurt, I was confused and nothing made sense.

Everyone at the news station, we all walked around as if in some type of trance or daze. Trying to collect ourselves and do what we're suppose to do, what we all did best, tell the stories and share the news with the world. It was an amazing sight to see every single person, even the one's who weren't suppose to be at work that day come in to help in any way possible.

We all have our differences, but on that day, we all came together, supporting each other, hugged each other, talking and simply being there to listen.

I live far from New York and the World Trade Centers and I wasn't there that morning. But I think every single American was impacted, each of our lives have been touched and changed forever on that surreal day.

I'm sure each and every one of you has a story about where you were, what you were doing and how you reacted on that day. I'd love to hear about it as we all take time today to remember every single person who's life was lost.

Friday, September 08, 2006

O-TAY!!

It's Friday folks! I thought I'd send you in to the weekend with a little music to make you smile! ENJOY!!!!



Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Celebrity Ball

I'm planning a big birthday bash for a good friend of mine. The theme is "Celebrity Ball" basically everyone invited, is to arrive at the party dressed as their favorite celebrity.

I'm starting the evening off with a red carpet event. I'm hoping to hire a few college kids, offering them free alcohol (who are of age of course) to pretend to be the press/paparazzi.

The invitations I'm putting together are 100% pure genius, if I may say so myself! I'm creating a type of slideshow, scrapbook collage with pictures of famous people. Using the song "Celebrity Ball" by Three Dog Night.

I'm then, going to burn it on to a DVD and give it to each of the honored guests... I know what you're thinking, "Damn that RevRee she's so freakin' cool! I wish she were my real life friend!..." Shhh, I know it's ok...

(I would show you the invitations, but I haven't been able to figure out how to post such a thing online?)

The problem I'm having is this, WHO THE HELL SHOULD I BE??? I need some ideas folks. I'm going to be hosting this party, so I need something to really wow the people. I only have until the 23rd of this month to come up with something amazing, something spectacular!

So, I'm leaving it up to you. I want to hear from each and every one of you. Tell me your ideas, help me make the decision, which celebrity should I be?

I know you're asking, "what's in it for me sweet RevRee?..." Well, nothing. Not one damn thing. BUT, I did show you a picture of what could be my ass! Isn't that pretty cool? HA!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


MIGHTY DYCKERSON,
KISS MY ASS!!!!



Because I am an honorable woman, I will keep my end of the deal. Dyckerson DID sabotage my blog many times though out this whole "Blog Feud". But, in the end, it looks like he's edged past me, with the help of a few bloggers who I THOUGHT were my friends and on my side!!!!

But, It seems they're two faced and crossed over to joined him, right before the deadline was up. A few words to them... THANKS A LOT, YOU SUCK!

Dyckerson, this isn't the end. As they say "I may have lost the battle, but you haven't won the war my friend!"

Because I'm the kind of girl who keeps her end of the bargain, I will be recording AND posting my own special rendition of a Tom Jones song. So be sure to keep an eye out for that folks!

As for the whole "bow down and service" thingy... I'm just not sure ole Dyckerson's heart can take much more of that. We'll have to discuss that in a closed session, alone, in my office sometime in the near further. (bring the magic shell ice cream topping with you...)

And last, but not least! Thank you to all my blog supporters. None of this fun and excitement would have been possible with out each and every one of you! It's been a long hard journey, we fought a good fight. Don't place the blame souly on only yourselves. Place it on the blogger sitting next to you.

I know you're all thinking, if only I had posted one more time. If only I had taken the time out of my busy schedule to simply say hello to sweet RevRee in her time of need. If only I hadn't made dinner for my family and had spent more time online posting for cute RevRee. Maybe, just maybe she wouldn't have had to show her ass on the damn internets!!!!


Due to the fact that I'd like my true identity to remain anonymous, this is not my ass. My ass however does look very much like this ass. So, you will at least get a good idea of what my ass looks like....

...I could be full of shit, maybe it really is my ass

Monday, September 04, 2006

Blog Feud!!!

Ladies and gentleman, my humble blog following, Jews and Gentiles, Red, Yellow, Black & White people, the guy who took my sweet virginity at the young age of 19, Clive Owen and the bum I once gave a $1.00 to,

It appears I've been targeted for a "Blog Feud" from my part-time internets husband Mighty Dyckerson He claims, and I quote,

-----------------------------------
"Check out her fucking blog. Today she writes a lameass post about finding a magazine on her bed. A post hardly worth reading...much less commenting on. But guess what...she's got TWENTY COMMENTS and counting!! When the fuck did she get so popular??!"

~Mighty Dyckerson
-----------------------------------

Now folks, first of all, I admit, the last two posts haven't been of my usual top quality. But if you check out ANY other post on my blog, you'll find that I am one cute, sexy, FUNNY, intellectual, bright, loving, sweet, Half & half (half black/half white) on the internets.

Mighty Dyckerson can't claim that! Yes he can go on and on and on and on and on about how his posts are "witty, inciteful, educational, and inspiring" But come one people, who wants all that crap when you get to read about my cute, funny, sexy, insatiable, exciting stories?

Plus, Mr. Fab has been promoting me... I PAID HIM ALRIGHT??? GOD! It costs money to be famous sometimes!

Listen here Mighty Man, Sex sells. It's what the people want and you can't deny it.

Dyckerson has set this "BLOG FEUD" wager to the following,

#1 whoever has less posts, has to post a picture of his ass

#2 Will bow down to the other and service them any time she wishes

#3 Will sing a Tom Jones song of their choosing, and also post that for everyone to hear

So, those are the terms folks, you be the judge. I am your humble servent.
LETS GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!

LET THE BLOG FEUD BEGIN!!!!!!

DOUBLE TAKE

****BREAKING NEWS****

I got home from work last night, to find a surprise laying on my bed. Now, stop! I know what you're thinking, "oh great, another sex story by RevRee...." but I promise, this is all true and it's not about sex. No really, it isn't, trust me.... Who am I fooling? No one? Ok, Ok there might me some slight sexual under tones... shudup! Just go with it alright?

Anyway, I get to my place last night. It had been a long day at work, I was still slightly hung over and had a scratch in my throat. All I wanted to do was make a cup of tea, get this bra off and get ready for bed.

I finish my tea and head for bed. Low and behold, I walk in to my bedroom and who do I find? Clive Owen laying in my bed!!!! I swear to you he was! OK, It wasn't Clive Owen in the flesh, but it was yet another September issue of GQ magazine.

My roommate bless her soul, also knows about my completely out of control crush on Clive Owen so she too came across this magazine and thought of me.

Now folks, I can have some Clive at work and at home! I took a picture for you all to enjoy! Observe...

P.S. I've got a blasted cold today and this is the best post I could come up with, being high on nyquil and all. My throat hurts...

*Ahhhhhhh.... AhhhhhHHhhhh... ChHhHHhhhoooooooooooooo*

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Clive Owen, a Casino, $5.00 , a Hot guy with tattoos and a Hangover

I was pleasantly surprised and actually quite turned on by the cover of the September issue of GQ magazine. It was sitting on my desk in my office (yes, I have an office) when I arrived at work today.

I had a very wild night last night, (more of that in a moment) I came to work with a pounding headache. Then to my joy I find such a sweet gift. It really touched me and made me kinda tingle. A fellow co-worker and friend of mine, knew of my extremely out of control crush on Clive Owen, and so he bought this special issue just for me!

No I didn't lick the pages with the photos of Clive (we're on a first name basis) I did however press the entire magazine softly against my sweet supple breasts... I think I might have actually let out a slight moan too... but that can't be proven!

Ok, real quick, about my night. I started at a casino with a few friends. I had $5 to play with. Yes, I said FIVE DOLLARS! I'm not about to throw a bunch of money down some slot machine, plus I work in the media and... I'm poor. Plus, that's all the money I had, OK?

After the Casino, everyone decides to go to a friends house, in some small town in the middle of nowhere, to drink some more and watch Reservoir Dogs (awesome movie by the way... from what I can remember) Well, needless to say, I had too much to drink, so I ended up spending the night in "Hickville USA" at my friends place, on someone's bed, with some hot tattooed guy laying next to me. Oh yeah, his tongue was pierced too... I can't remember why I know that though...

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Kiss & Tell

Do you ever think back to all the different types of kisses you've experienced throughout your life? I was talking the other day with some of my friends and we all had great stories to share about kissing.

I've decided to put together a little guide to try and describe all the different types of kisses that some of you might experience or have already experienced in life. Some are good, some are bad, some are amazing some are horrible.

As you read this, you might find that you've kissed like one of these descriptions, or had someone bless you with their expert kissing skills. I read once that "The language of a kiss is communication without words"

With that said, not all these kisses have I personally experienced. (If you're someone I've made out with and you're reading this, relax it's all good) I've taken some notes from friends and come up with a pretty good mix of kissing methods/styles for everyone to enjoy.

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The Big Gulp Kisser:
This type of kisser has no regard for the other participant in the art of kissing. The kisser loses all control of their saliva glands and they just let the "water" flow... It really isn't a pleasant sight or experience. I've been told that some have even gagged and almost drowned when this type of kissing occurs.

I Just Died in your Arms Tonight Kisser:
Usually this kisser takes their time (maybe too much time) kissing very, very, very gently across the corners of your mouth. They eventually move to the upper lip, then the lower. Never really giving one spot total attention but continues to kiss all over, over and over again. This could cause a kissing trance and you may find yourself drifting off. This kissing style can be very effective if you use this technique to tease your partner and every now and then try to concentrate on one area.

Take a Bite out of Crime Kiss:
This type of kiss has to be done very carefully. While kissing, the kisser "gently" bite the lower lip, but be VERY gentle not to hurt your partner. If not done correctly there could be blood involved. (some of you might be in to that kinda thing. If that's the case, then you might find the slight blood to be a total turn on...SICKO!) This kiss, I have to admit is one of my favorites (w/out the blood) I've also been known to be this kisser... (you've been warned). Word to the wise though, this should only be done with someone that you've kissed a few times before, otherwise you may shock your partner.

You need a Good Tongue Lashing Kisser:
This kisser may appear as though they're high on crack. The tongue is fast, furious, their darting and/or a high-speed swirling motions, might remind you of a washing machine on the rinse cycle. You might even experience a severe tongue lashing to the face if you're not careful with this kisser. They usually don't just stop at the mouth, which if you're in to that sort of thing can't be so bad...

A little Dab Will Do Ya Kisser:
This technique is done souly with the tip of the tongue. The kisser has somehow mastered the concept of not touching any part of the other persons body at all. Nothing else is used, but simply the tip of the tongue. Not the mouth, no hand movement, not even the base of the tongue is used. The body is stiff and maybe even slightly awkward It's a very cold and mechanical technique. It leaves the one being kissed feeling unfulfilled and empty. Not one I would suggest for anyone.

Sign, Sealed, Delivered Kisser:
This kisser has mastered the whole idea of kissing. They usually start out very slow, kissing your entire mouth. Then moving to the lower lip, sucking it gently into their own mouth. Then they switch things up a bit and move their head slightly to the side, kissing the edge of your mouth. Then back to your whole mouth for a passionate kiss, with an added pleasant surprise of the very tip of their tongue knocking at your mouths door. They use their entire body for their kisses. Their hands are softly on your face caressing or holding, everything seems to be in tune with what is needed next.

I want to Fuck you like an Animal Kisser:
The kisser is super horny, and has no control over their hormones or their mouth. They're a bit too excited and for some reason they're really in a rush. They just dive right in, whether the other person is ready or not. They start out shoving their whole tongue right down your throat, opening their mouth wide and going for the kill. This can be unpleasant and slightly annoying as the kisser isn't taking the time to enjoy any aspects of the art of kissing. SOME times, this can be fun, IF done with timing and an assessment of the situation and surroundings at hand.

Boombastic Kisser:
This kisser first start out gently licking your lips with the tip of their tongue. Then softly blowing or sighing into your mouth, causing a tingling feeling that will seriously intensify the kissing experience. Then they slide their tongue across the edges of the other's mouth. Which will create almost an unbearable amount of chills down your spine. They will then sometimes start saying sweet things as their lips brush ever so softly against your mouth.

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I hope my little guide will help you figure out what works for your kissing technique and style. I also hope that we've all learned what not to do when it comes to kissing.

Just remember, it all comes down to knowing what your kissing partner needs, wants, likes and dislikes. Always try to get to know them, take it slow, but not too slow!

Oh yeah, if you don't have anyone to kiss, peaches, kiwis, bananas and plums work for practice... not that I know or anything, I've just heard they're good for practice......

ANYWAY, good luck!

*yes, those are my lips in the photo above*

Friday, September 01, 2006

Eyes Wide Shut

Have you ever passed judgment on someone, simply because of their age and/or the way they look? I have and recently and I almost missed out on meeting and getting to know an amazing person.

Recently I met someone. Someone who's smart, funny, interesting, intriguing, sexy and mature. Someone I almost passed up because he's a few years younger them me and "there was no way in hell I could find myself connected to such a man." (I know that sounds completely crazy and yes, I am crazy. But, please bear with me and hopefully I'll be able to explain.)

Don't worry, I'm not getting ahead of myself here. Just because I MAY want to get in to this hot, 23 year old guys pants, this fact has nothing to do what what I'm about to say....

ok maybe a little... HA!

Everyone has a soul mate, right? At least that's what I believe. People all over the world believe that we are all searching for someone to make us whole and to share our journey of life with. The word "Soul mate" is a term that is seriously over used and not always really understood.

So, I did some research and found a few things....

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The Classical - Greek mythology of soul mates:
According to the story, our ancestors once had 2 heads, 4 arms. They did something to offend god so that god punished them by splitting them down the middle. Resulting in the creation of humans. As a punishment, we are condemned to spend our lives searching for the other half, our soul mate.
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Soul mate definitions:
Two people compatible with each other in point of view, or sensitivity. Someone who you have a deep affinity.

A soul mate is someone who has the locks to fit our keys, and the keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are.
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Isn't that beautiful? It almost makes you want to puke!

Anyway, all that being said, have you ever found yourself talking to someone and you feel completely comfortable, almost too comfortable. There's no awkward beginning, it's just seamless. You find yourself constantly amazed by that person.

There's an extraordinary level of communication that you can't explain to anyone, but yet you both seem to understand. You can just be together without even having to talk. It is not a physical experience although passion, attraction and arousal is definitely present.

The other persons mind, attracted you like an aphrodisiac undiscovered by man and you can't seem to get enough. The energy flowing from each other is incredible, and it sometimes can scare the hell out of you both.

I asked a few people what they thought a soul mate was. The answers were all very similar, "The one person who know me better then I know myself and they still love and accept me." Wow, that's powerful!

I've also found in my research, that no matter the age, male or female most people have this same thought and hope.

It's amazing how even though as we get older, we THINK we know what we want out of life. Yet, we still allow our own hang-ups, and pre-conceived notions to get in the way. We think our eyes are wide open, but in reality they're still closed tightly.

Don't keep your eyes closed, open them up and truly see. Who knows, you might just meet your soul mate...or have some really great sex! Either way, it's a win win situation!

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