Folks, something horrible has happened. Something so bad, so grotesque, I'm shaking as I try to type this post...please bear with me. Oh god, I just want to warn you before reading ahead...
It all started this morning, I was making my usual blog rounds, I finally stopped at my part-time internets husband's blog and I found THIS!!
Something went wrong last night. I don't know what, but it's got me really scared! He's talking about playing the organ in church and helping homeless guys get good jobs! He's turned in to a pussy, peace making, charity working, adoptive father!
What happened to the totally demanding, asshole, bastard, womanizer, FUNNY, loud, obnoxious guy????
We need an intervention people. We need to set up a phone & blood bank to take donations, start making flyers, sending emails, ANYTHING! Whatever it takes! And by no means DO NOT let him see Yentle again! If you come across any movies such as Yentl, The Music man, Steel Magnolias, First Wives Club, Chicago, Working Girl or While You Were Sleeping. PLEASE destroy them at once! DO NOT LET Mighty Dyckerson near any of these movies.
I have a feeling he's starting to use body wash and Herbal Essence too. If this is true, we have a bigger problem on our hands... he's become more of a sensitive male then I first thought...
posted by RevRee at 1:17 PM
23 Comments:
Fear not, dear RevRee. Let's get together over some International Coffees and celebrate the feminist movement.
Rev, I think we should call the Police Dept. Either someone has stolen his ID or someone has taken his makeup off and exposed him for a Bear of a Man to snatch up and carry to a cave and marry!!!
It's called turning over
a new leaf,or a load of
bullshit.LOL
(carolines in less than 24 hours)
What gives? I heard he used to cry "during" as well. He's obviously lost his mojo.
No matter. At this point he's just a sorrier version of the post-lobotomy Jack Nicholson character from "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest". We MUST be his faithful Indian friend, and put and end to the misery*. I'll call the vet and have him put down. It's the most humane** action to take at this point.
* Ours, of course.
** For us, of course.
Michele, I shall pray for God to forgive you for the bad language you have chosen to use.
Puerileuwaite, there is nothing funny about euthenasia. It is tragic what is happening to our furry, four-legged friends, and my heart aches for them.
Rev, you wrote...
"... he's become more of a sensitive male then I first thought...
Which brings up the question...
Did you really think he was sensitive to begin with? I think not.
:)
funny... I can still smell the real dyck.
Revree - I thought having someone to share those "not so fresh feelings" would be a good thing.
And since I am the model for manly men, I was taken aback that both "Chicago" and "Working Girl" are chick flicks. I love those movies...
... Did I mention I am a manly man?
Hushy: must you continue to attempt to steal my part-time internets husband?
Mr Fab:Gentle lover??? He was never gentle with me!!! I think we've both been played...
Mighty Dyckerson: I'll burn my bra, if you burn yours!...
DykesDog: Yes, call 911, tell them Dyckerson's lost his balls!
michele: Bullshit is right!
puerileuwaiteriuerwyhfs: Darlin', you lost me at, "He's obviously lost his mojo..."
photogguy: Did you read my entire post babe?
Billy: I wanted to say something celver about your dick, but I didn't want to be to crude...
Cherry: The only way these two movies would be manly men movies, is if you made out with me while they were playing in the background...it's the only way.
I'm willing to make myself an asshole donor if that helps.
It's your blogworld homegirl, I'm just commenting in it... go on with your bad self.
Portland: you're donating your asshole for a good cause. You're a brave man!
Billy: you tempt me so...
Hushy: he's making us all very ill. I've called around to a few doctors who specialize in "sensitive male syndrome" we are hoping to find a cure in just a few years. Until then, they've asked me to set up a fundraiser for the SMS Foundation. The plans are in the works!
Haha, the MB network totally rocks! You must tell me your secret...how did you get to be so awesome?
~fawning admirer
I miss diddling in your box, it was titillating...
That's what happened, you turned your internet husband gay.
I just don't know what has happened to my Mighty Vagyna, Rev. I used to laugh and be in awe of his comebacks and wit. Now though, I bet if he were in bed with a woman, he would ask her to spoon him instead. It's sad. Really, very sad.
And one more thing ... where in the screw did your chat hole go!
I saw him at the man-scaping salon. I think he is lost forever. What was I doing there? Well, I was at the Cool Guy Shirt Store, where I get all of my clothes, and it's hard to miss that big white hearse that says "Dyckmobile" on the side.
Nubian Nerd: Hey! Thanks for stopping by! It's good to see that you're a fan!
KC: I miss you diddling in my box too...
tfg: I had nothing to do with Dyckerson's current state of mind... it was that damn movie yentl!
Jodi: I'm worried too honey. I think we're all a bit worried and scared right now. Dyckerson actually did want to just cuddle and watch the Hallmark channel the other night...I wanted to throw up after that.
P.S. I had to take my chat box down due to attempts at posting my true identity
Moderator: You're like the ultra male. Maybe you should take Dyckerson under your wing and teach him how to be a real man!
Ahh....I know of someone like that....but she never calls anymore... kind of like the virtual divorce without the paperwork....
This outpouring has moved my bowels in a profound way.
I'M BACK, FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm back too--
don't hate me b'cuz I'm beautiful.
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