Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Folks, something horrible has happened. Something so bad, so grotesque, I'm shaking as I try to type this post...

please bear with me. Oh god, I just want to warn you before reading ahead...

It all started this morning, I was making my usual blog rounds, I finally stopped at my part-time internets husband's blog and I found THIS!!

Something went wrong last night. I don't know what, but it's got me really scared! He's talking about playing the organ in church and helping homeless guys get good jobs! He's turned in to a pussy, peace making, charity working, adoptive father!

What happened to the totally demanding, asshole, bastard, womanizer, FUNNY, loud, obnoxious guy????

We need an intervention people. We need to set up a phone & blood bank to take donations, start making flyers, sending emails, ANYTHING! Whatever it takes! And by no means DO NOT let him see Yentle again! If you come across any movies such as Yentl, The Music man, Steel Magnolias, First Wives Club, Chicago, Working Girl or While You Were Sleeping. PLEASE destroy them at once! DO NOT LET Mighty Dyckerson near any of these movies.

I have a feeling he's starting to use body wash and Herbal Essence too. If this is true, we have a bigger problem on our hands... he's become more of a sensitive male then I first thought...

26 Comments:

Blogger Willo Keays said...

Rev ... don' worry. I left an explantion in the comments section of our darling dyck's blog.

It's all love and sunshine from here on out. Well ... for now anyways.

Tue Sep 12, 05:24:00 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

I thought he was MY part time internet husband.

Which may in part answer your question about his new found sensitivity.

He is a very gentle lover. He cries afterward.

Tue Sep 12, 05:31:00 PM  
Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Fear not, dear RevRee. Let's get together over some International Coffees and celebrate the feminist movement.

Tue Sep 12, 05:35:00 PM  
Blogger DykesDog said...

Rev, I think we should call the Police Dept. Either someone has stolen his ID or someone has taken his makeup off and exposed him for a Bear of a Man to snatch up and carry to a cave and marry!!!

Tue Sep 12, 05:48:00 PM  
Blogger michele said...

It's called turning over
a new leaf,or a load of
bullshit.LOL

Tue Sep 12, 07:44:00 PM  
Blogger Crashtest Comic said...

(carolines in less than 24 hours)

Tue Sep 12, 07:58:00 PM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

What gives? I heard he used to cry "during" as well. He's obviously lost his mojo.

No matter. At this point he's just a sorrier version of the post-lobotomy Jack Nicholson character from "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest". We MUST be his faithful Indian friend, and put and end to the misery*. I'll call the vet and have him put down. It's the most humane** action to take at this point.

* Ours, of course.
** For us, of course.

Tue Sep 12, 08:22:00 PM  
Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Michele, I shall pray for God to forgive you for the bad language you have chosen to use.

Puerileuwaite, there is nothing funny about euthenasia. It is tragic what is happening to our furry, four-legged friends, and my heart aches for them.

Tue Sep 12, 08:42:00 PM  
Anonymous photogguy said...

Rev, you wrote...

"... he's become more of a sensitive male then I first thought...

Which brings up the question...

Did you really think he was sensitive to begin with? I think not.

:)

Wed Sep 13, 03:16:00 AM  
Blogger thebillofbrothers said...

funny... I can still smell the real dyck.

Wed Sep 13, 08:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Cherry Ride said...

Revree - I thought having someone to share those "not so fresh feelings" would be a good thing.

And since I am the model for manly men, I was taken aback that both "Chicago" and "Working Girl" are chick flicks. I love those movies...

... Did I mention I am a manly man?

Wed Sep 13, 08:32:00 AM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Hushy: must you continue to attempt to steal my part-time internets husband?

Mr Fab:Gentle lover??? He was never gentle with me!!! I think we've both been played...

Mighty Dyckerson: I'll burn my bra, if you burn yours!...

DykesDog: Yes, call 911, tell them Dyckerson's lost his balls!

michele: Bullshit is right!

puerileuwaiteriuerwyhfs: Darlin', you lost me at, "He's obviously lost his mojo..."

photogguy: Did you read my entire post babe?

Billy: I wanted to say something celver about your dick, but I didn't want to be to crude...

Cherry: The only way these two movies would be manly men movies, is if you made out with me while they were playing in the background...it's the only way.

Wed Sep 13, 12:15:00 PM  
Blogger blog Portland said...

I'm willing to make myself an asshole donor if that helps.

Wed Sep 13, 01:12:00 PM  
Blogger thebillofbrothers said...

It's your blogworld homegirl, I'm just commenting in it... go on with your bad self.

Wed Sep 13, 01:32:00 PM  
Blogger Willo Keays said...

Rev - u r right. i'll stop. I miss hubby and must latch on to whomever pays attention to me. Forgive me?

BTW - fix yur part-time hubby b4 he makes us all ill!

Wed Sep 13, 04:38:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Portland: you're donating your asshole for a good cause. You're a brave man!

Billy: you tempt me so...

Hushy: he's making us all very ill. I've called around to a few doctors who specialize in "sensitive male syndrome" we are hoping to find a cure in just a few years. Until then, they've asked me to set up a fundraiser for the SMS Foundation. The plans are in the works!

Wed Sep 13, 05:29:00 PM  
Blogger Nubian Nerd said...

Haha, the MB network totally rocks! You must tell me your secret...how did you get to be so awesome?

~fawning admirer

Wed Sep 13, 06:07:00 PM  
Anonymous KC said...

I miss diddling in your box, it was titillating...

Thu Sep 14, 01:08:00 AM  
Blogger tfg said...

That's what happened, you turned your internet husband gay.

Thu Sep 14, 05:37:00 AM  
Blogger Jodi said...

I just don't know what has happened to my Mighty Vagyna, Rev. I used to laugh and be in awe of his comebacks and wit. Now though, I bet if he were in bed with a woman, he would ask her to spoon him instead. It's sad. Really, very sad.

Thu Sep 14, 06:34:00 AM  
Blogger Jodi said...

And one more thing ... where in the screw did your chat hole go!

Thu Sep 14, 06:35:00 AM  
Anonymous moderator said...

I saw him at the man-scaping salon. I think he is lost forever. What was I doing there? Well, I was at the Cool Guy Shirt Store, where I get all of my clothes, and it's hard to miss that big white hearse that says "Dyckmobile" on the side.

Thu Sep 14, 10:47:00 AM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Nubian Nerd: Hey! Thanks for stopping by! It's good to see that you're a fan!

KC: I miss you diddling in my box too...

tfg: I had nothing to do with Dyckerson's current state of mind... it was that damn movie yentl!

Jodi: I'm worried too honey. I think we're all a bit worried and scared right now. Dyckerson actually did want to just cuddle and watch the Hallmark channel the other night...I wanted to throw up after that.

P.S. I had to take my chat box down due to attempts at posting my true identity

Moderator: You're like the ultra male. Maybe you should take Dyckerson under your wing and teach him how to be a real man!

Thu Sep 14, 11:38:00 AM  
Anonymous Yes, THAT John said...

Ahh....I know of someone like that....but she never calls anymore... kind of like the virtual divorce without the paperwork....

Thu Sep 14, 12:29:00 PM  
Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

This outpouring has moved my bowels in a profound way.

I'M BACK, FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thu Sep 14, 05:43:00 PM  
Blogger Crashtest Comic said...

I'm back too--
don't hate me b'cuz I'm beautiful.

Fri Sep 15, 07:03:00 PM  

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