Homeless in the heat

Hello my blogging friends! I'm actually wondering if there's any of my blogging friends left?....Hello?.......

Ok, well I'm just gonna pretend that you're all still around and you're really excited to read my newest blog post!

As some of you might already know, last summer I moved in with my boyfriend Phlip. We moved in to what I like to call the "Shit Hole".

Now, before I go any further, I will simply say that we were able to stay in this "Shit Hole" for almost a year rent free! Due to his amazing mother we were able to do this in order to save to purchase a lovely home...God Bless her!

Anyway, needless to say we've been saving like mad for the last year. Back in march we were finally able to begin the process of applying for a home loan. We looked far and wide for THE perfect house.

Back in April, we found a super cute house and we decided to submit an offer to buy it. Great news, the sellers accepted our offer and the ball started to roll!

The closing day had been set for May 13th...everything was in place....we just had to wait for the rest of my paper work that was held up in abstract and titling. If you haven't figured out already, the closing day come and went WITHOUT us closing! The paperwork was STILL with the abstract and title company.

My goodness, it's taking everything in my power to even tell this story because it makes me tired and it also pisses me off!

So, in the meantime, Phlip's Mother (God Bless Her) found someone who wanted to actually buy the "Shit Hole" ....greats news, but yeah we're still living in the death trap!

By this time, it's the end of May, my 31st birthday, my sister's in town visiting with her man and we're all jammed packed in the "Shit Hole"...we get a phone call from Phlips momma (God Bless Her)


Big Momma W: "Hello, Hi RevRee! Did you guys close on your house?!!!"

RevRee: Ummm no, not yet we're still waiting on all the paper work...

Big Momma W: WHAT????? I just sold the "Shit Hole" to some crazy lady!

RevRee: Ummm yeah, we're still here alive and well, slowly dying in this Trailer of death....ha ha ha

Big Momma W: Well, I'll call the lady and ask her if you can stay until the end of June...

RevRee: Ok, that would be cool because we don't have anyplace to go until we close on the house...

Big Momma W: Would you be willing to pay her $200 to stay until the end of the month?

RevRee: ummm sure, I guess....I don't really have a choice do I?

Big Momma W: Not really...I'll see what I can do...

30 minutes later...

Big Momma W: RevReeeee....RevRee sweetie, she said if you can pay her $200 you can stay until the end of the month!

RevRee: well, alright I suppose I can deal with that.

1 week later...

Big Momma W: Hey RevRee sweetie, I just talked to that crazy lady who bought the "Shit Hole" she's gonna need you to be out by this weekend....

RevRee: WHAT??????????

Big Momma W: Yeah, she called and said she HAS to move in and she said you MUST be out by this weekend.

RevRee: NOOOOOO?????????

Big Momma W: I'm so so sorry that this has happened! She said you could stay until the end of the month...now she's changed her mind...I'm so sorry! I should have gotten this all in writing...I'm so sorry!

RevRee: ......*extra, extra long pause*................alright, we'll be out by this weekend......

Needless to say, Phlip and I were a bit upset....just a bit *cough*....Now, listen, we realized his mother (God bless her) didn't do any of this on purpose or to be mean...she just got a little overly excited and went ahead of the PLAN and forgot about that one small detail...WE WERE STILL LIVING THERE!!!

ANYWAY, we frantically made some phone calls and finally got a hold of some very good friends who happened to live in a pretty huge house. They were totally cool about the whole thing and allowed us to moved all our crap into the lower level of their home.

Phlip and I moved all our Shit....EVERYTHING in 2 days!

Ok, so I thought I was super smart and that I'd be ahead of the game and have the power turned off on Friday...I was thinking it would be turned off sometime on Friday night...

BOY was I wrong!... I was totally wrong...see, they turned the power off at like 12am Friday morning...this caused us to have to pack up in the dead heat of daylight without any type of cooling system.

Ok, so come to find out, Phlip had to work all day on Friday, so is was up to me to get everything ready to load up when he got there.

THAT, my blogging friends was one of the roughest days of my entire life! I'll tell you what, seriously dude, the only thing I had to help was a bottle of ice cold water, a can of grape NOS, my ipod and my good friend "mj" came over a few times throughout the day.....*cough*

To make a long story, long...we did make it out of the "Death Trap/Shit Hole" safe and sound. But, due to the fact that I had the power turned off, we left that bitch high, dry and a dirty, filthy mess! HA!

That Midnight Kiss

I'm about to share something not many people know about me. It's slightly embarrassing, a little pathetic and really kinda cute all at the same time....ok well at least that's how I view it.

ANYWAY, how many of you would be surprised to know that New Years of 2009 was the very first time I had ever been kissed at Midnight...true story.... Ok, now stop, just stop it! No, I'm not lying!

Listen, listen...Yeah, I'm 30 and this should have happened many times before. But it hasn't ALRIGHT! Good lord! Let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. In past "New Years Midnight events" where a kiss should have taken place... I was either crying because some dude had broken my heart, or I was to busy dancing in the street with friends, or I was just plain drunk out of my mind to ease the pain....WOW! (that's really sad)

Back to my story. Phlip and I started the night off checking in to a very cozy, posh, hotel suite called "Motel 6" hahahah ok, it wasn't Motel 6 I swear! It was honestly a very hot, hotel suite. (If you'd like to see pictures I can show ya...THE HOTEL!)

After checking in, we met Phlip's sister, her husband and a few other friends at a little bar that I'll call "Orange Kush"... "Kush" for short (that isn't really the name of the bar, I just wanted to use that name instead because I'm a weirdo!)

When we arrived at the "Kush" there was already a table ready for all of us with party favors, Hawaiian lays and fun hats!

After having many, many, many, many drinks at the "Kush" , Hawaiian lays around our necks, silly hats on our heads, we decided to make our way to yet another bar to meet even more friends. I'll call this bar "Maui Wowie" ... "Wowie" for short (that isn't really the name of the bar, I just wanted to use that name instead because I'm a weirdo! HA!)

The "Wowie" was a happening place, I'll tell ya! This place had like 10 pool tables, a dance floor and a stage where people were actually singing Karaoke! I know, right! Awesome!

By the time we had a few drinks at "Maui Wowie", it was time for the Kiss at Midnight!!!

Phlip and I were standing together, as we all counted down to the last second. Then I hear the shouts coming from all over the bar "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" I turn and look up at Phlip and he gently grabs me, caresses my face, looks in to my eyes, he leans down and whispers in to my ear "happy new year baby" and then he kissed me...

Now, I'm not going to be one of THOSE people who's gonna try and actually describe the type of kiss that took place at that moment. All I'm gonna do is use a quote from the movie
"The Princess Bride" "Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind."

The moral to this story that probably only means anything to someone, is....well ME... Although I'm a grown woman, I'm honestly glad that I hadn't been kissed at Midnight on any other new years before that night. I will never forget it....ok I was super drunk and I've forgotten a lot about that night, I won't forget that moment...ever.

Year End Review!

Hello my sweet and dear friends! It's been quite awhile since my last post. The life & times of RevRee have been super busy AND really exciting!

ANYWAY, I thought I'd do a little year end review of the top 5 happenings in my life! Sounds really entertaining right?....right?...whatever .....OK, let's get started, shall we?!

#5 I went on a camping trip back in May of 2008. Me, my boyfriend, my sister and her man all went camping one weekend. We also experienced the very fun activity of floating down the river while drunk out of our minds! The camping trip was amazing...we all got to bond, attempt to start camp fires, share stories and we even out ran a tornado! True story

#4 Back in March of 2008, I Purchased tickets to see Tom Jones LIVE in concert! At this point in my life, it was the most exciting thing ever! I mean, Tom Jones, in my home town and I got to see him in all his sweaty, sexiness! (is that even a word?) I don't think I need to remind you of my slight obsession with Tom Jones. For years I've wanted to see him in concert and This, WAS the year!

#3 I turned 30 years old this year. This was the age that I thought I'd be married, have children and pretty much have my life all figured out. Well, SURPRISE! that wasn't the case... I don't have any babies (yet) I'm still single...BUT very much in love! The best part of my 30th birthday was that I got to mark off nearly all of my goals that I had set for myself before leaving my 20's and entering my 30's. I will for the sake of sheer entertainment share with you ONE of the many thing that I got to check off my list....ready? ...I experienced complete pleasure and mind blowing "things" with Phlip in a tent when we went on our camping trip...la la la la la! (After that weekend, his new nick name is "Mad Man") The ONLY thing I haven't been able to mark off the list as of yet, is Flash my breasteses at someone while driving... Daring, I know!

#2 For the first time in my life, I brought a guy home to meet my family. Back in August of 2008 we took a road trip back to my home state to visit my entire family. For those of you who don't know, I have a BIG family. How does one set of parents, 7 siblings, 2 grandparents, 2 sister-in-laws, 3 nieces and 2 nephews sound? WOW! This might not seem like a really big deal...but it really is. Yeah I've had my share of boyfriends in the past, but I had never taken any of them around my family. Up until I met Phlip I had no desire. So I'm making this the #2 happening this year! Oh yeah, by the way, everyone LOVED him!

And now, Ladies and gentlemen I give you the #1 happening of my life in 2008!.....drum roll please! !!!...........

#1 One cold night in January of 2008 I met the man of my dreams. For the first time, in my life I feel complete. Throughout my entire adult life I felt as though something was missing....a puzzle piece to my heart so to speak. And that night I laid eyes on the most beautiful, amazing, funny, sexy, good man I had ever met. My life changed that night. My life changed in a way that I can't even really explain. I never understood something like this until it actually happened to me. I thank God each and everyday that he brought us together.

So in closing, many, many things happened this year. A lot of things changed in my life, I've been able to experience many amazing and really wonderful, mind blowing thing, I've learned about myself, I've grown, I laughed, I cried, I giggled and I screamed! I can honestly say that I am truly Happy and I can't wait to see what 2009 has in store!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Safe Word

Today I'll be exploring the world of "safe words" and it's meaning. What's a "safe word" you ask?

Well, I've done some research and have come to the understanding that a "safe words" is a codeword to unambiguously communicate a physical or emotional state when approaching, or crossing, a physical, emotional, or moral boundary. Some "safe words" are used to stop the "scene" outright.

Like hypothetically if someone were to accidentally find a pair of purple fur handcuffs and accidentally handcuff another person and the accidental encounter got a little out of hand... one could use a "safe word" like "Apple Sauce" in order for the other person to know a line was about to be crossed and to stop and regroup. Or as stated above, end the scene and take 5.

According to Wikipedia this SAFEword is usually agreed upon before playing a scene by participants. They are generally used under the guiding philosophy of safe, sane and consensual. That makes me feel better...

Apparently many organized BDSM groups (they have organized BSDM groups???, REALLY? Creepy!) have standard "safe words" that all members agree to use to avoid confusion at organized play events. WOW! We wouldn't want things to get out of hand or anything during the organized gang bang! Ok, I know I just asked this a second ago, but I'm actually a little disturbed that there's organized BDSM groups. I honestly don't know what to say.

Apparently there's many ways to use a "safe word". For example you could use colors. Like, if a 'top' (what's a top?) was to ask the 'bottom' (what's a bottom?) "What is your color?" They could say "RED!" which I think mean, no holds barred. I could be wrong?

It was also interesting to find out in my extensive research that "safe words"are not always used in sexual situations. Like, during the filming of "The Blair Witch Project", the actors used the "safe word" of "taco" to indicate that they were going to break character and discuss the progression of the film. Hmmm interesting...

Now, I'll be completely honest with you and admit that Phlip and I do have a "safe word". Have we ever used said "safe word"? That I can not go in to at this time. But I will tell you that I truly believe every couple should agree upon a "safe word".

In closing, my only advice to you is please, please don't pick a "safe word" that is hard to pronounce like on the movie "Euro Trip" where the "safe word" was "FLǕGGȦNKđ€ČHIŒβǾLʃÊN"

Yeah...I know right!

THE HOT BOX

Hello my dear blogging friends! I know it's been quite a long time since my last post. Once again I'm sorry about that...it's just been a crazy year and I haven't had as much time as I did in the past.

Anyway, The title of this blog post it "THE HOT BOX" Now I'm sure many of you are wondering what in the wild, wild, world of sports this means?...

It actually started as a joke between me Phlip....see, in his bedroom, his bed is right up against the back and side walls... so, since It's his room and his bed, I agreed to sleep on the inside against the wall. I know I'm sweet like that...what? I am...

Well, little did I know, in the dead, heat of summer, it's blazing HOT on that side. Therefore, I, nick named it "The Hot Box". Catchy name, don't ya think?

After discovering the extreme heat conditions one has to endure while sleeping on this side of the bed, I said that maybe we should switch sides every other night...he laughed at me as though he ALREADY knew what it was like. But, he agreed to try it out for the night.

Around 3:00am, I have to get up to use the bathroom....I stumble out of bed, use the facilities and come back, thinking I'm gonna finished an amazing night of sleep with cool air all around me.

That wasn't the case...It's dark so I feel my way back to the bed and what do I find, but my MAN dead asleep on the cool side of the bed!!!!!

DAMN YOU!!!!! AHHHHhhhhh

I tap him and say "hey mister" He's like, "baby I can't do it, it's too HOT! besides I gotta get up early for work wayyyy before you do"

GRRRRROWL!!!

Ok, he sorta had a point, I didn't have to be to work until the afternoon...what? I work in Television, we keep odd hours.

So I crawled over him, ON purpose taking my time, as I got back in "The Hot Box" and fell asleep as sweat poured over my entire body all freakin' night. But, I'll tell you what, right when he got up for work I quickly rolled over on the cool side, sleeping like a little lamb as he kissed me goodbye before he left.

That night when I got to his place after work, he had a smile on his face, he kissed me and then declared that he had FIXED "The Hot Box", situation! He then explained to me that somehow there was some kinda air (hot air) leak coming up from the corner of the floor right below where I sleep....uh huh...

Guess what, he did fix it and I slept like a rock that night!...at least I think it was because of that...or maybe it was because of the blog post & picture below this one...*cough*

ANYWAY!! The point to this entire story is that one day I got all creative and decided to make an actual "Hot Box"! Crazy, right?

Well, it's still a work in progress, but it's an actual Box about the size of a book...I've been designing it with decoupage!......*cough* what?....

Ok, you know what, I'll just show you a pic!

That, my friends is the real life, "HOT BOX"! YES, it's real, YES I made it and YES I'm proud of it! Of course it's a work in progress...I wonder what I should put inside?...

*"BFFF = Best Fuckin Friends Forever"

He found that spot...

And now it's time for an UPDATE!!

Hello friends!

It's been awhile since we last spoke... so, I thought I'd take a moment and write you. You know, kinda give you an update on the events that I had previously told you about.

• TOM JONES CONCERT:
  I had the most amazing time of my life and the seating was perfect! I was surrounded by 50+ aged, hot, sweaty, horny, women who wanted to throw their granny panties at Mr. Jones!
  
  As I stood there, waiting for him to take the stage, this music started playing...you know to try and get the crowd excited. Folks, I'm not one to get all hot, bothered and emotional about a celebrity...but I did that night. I'll admit that my heart started pounding and little tears welled up in my eyes!
  
  Then TOM JONES took the stage and I screamed!!! OH MY GOD! did, I scream! I was like one of those little girls you see screaming and crying when they see their favorite New Kids on the Block boy band member. I didn't stop screaming, dancing and singing along the entire concert! Seriously he sang every one of my favorite songs and he was on FIRE!!!
  
  Now, I'm sure you're all wanting to ask if I threw my sweet panties on stage...maybe I did... I will say this though... it's not a myth or an urban legend...the women LOVE him and they DO throw their panties, bras, blouses & pants on stage! I'm 100% serious when I say that by the end of the night there was over 100 pairs of panties under Tom's feet. I had an amazing time and for a 68 year old man...Tom Jones is damn SEXY sweaty, hairy chest and all!
  
  
  
• BIRTHDAY CAMPING TRIP:
  Ladies and gentlemen...my birthday camping trip was such a blast! As I said, my sister and her boyfriend accompanied me and my boyfriend on our adventure and we had an amazing time!
  
  There was a little drinking going on...OK a lot of drinking, a little of this a little of that...OH and quite a bit of THAT....
  
  We had a little trouble with the camp fire though...but I think that was due to the amount of adult beverages that had been consumed plus we all are a little ADD...
  
  Wanna ride bikes?...
  
  We did something called "floating down the river" which I had never done before. Basically all 4 of us got into a raft up stream and floated down the river 6 miles. This took us about 2.5 hours. It really was a lot of fun! Word to the wise though, even if you're half black...when it's 100 degrees outside, please wear sun screen!...I'm just sayin...
  
  Oh yeah, you remember that little list of goals I had made for myself to accomplish before I turned 30?... Well, I am very proud to say that with the help of "phlip" I was able to mark 2 of those goals off my list during our trip... Which ones you ask? Well, I'm not gonna go right out and blurt it to you...but I'll give you a hint... public property...