Thursday, August 30, 2007

How to beat stress 101

Hello my blogging friends. Today I'd like to talk about STRESS. We all have it in our lives, sometimes we have it more then other times. But, it's a simple fact of life to have this thorn in our flesh.

With that being said, I thought I'd list some of the ways I like to DE-STRESS. I'm hoping that some of these, if not all of the little ideas I'm bringing before you, will help each and every one of you in some way or another.

Let's begin...
  • Masturbation: Now, there's some controversy on this matter. I know that some of us were always told by our parents and maybe even society that masturbation was BAD! And if you did it, you might even go to HELL! (Yes, I was told this...) But I've found in my research throughout the years, that just can't be true. This amazing act can seriously help in many areas in our lives. If done responsibly and hopefully in the privacy of our own homes. (Maybe sometimes in the car, at night...when you've been driving for hours and you just can't help it...) Masturbation can help with sleep deprivation, stress, menstrual cramps, anger and yes, even headaches. Works every time...

  • Long Hot Shower/Bath: For me personally, I'm not a huge bath person. The thought of soaking in my own filth really doesn't do much for me. But hey, if that's what helps you de-stress more power to ya. Me on the other hand, I enjoy a good long, hot shower. Nothing feels better then the feel of really warm/hot drops of water streaming down my naked body while I use my favorite melon grapefruit body wash, cleansing my entire being. Sometimes I'll lean in against the cool tile wall and just let the water slowly slide down my nakedness.

  • Sleep: Ahhhh yes, sleep! I love to sleep! Sometimes I sleep way to much. (is it possible to be addicted to sleep?) Sleeping can really help with the stress in your life. I know that sometimes what I'm really stressed out, I'll go in to my bedroom, turn on my fan, strip down to my panties, slide in to bed, pull the covers over my head and simply disappear in to blissful sleep. The blanket really helps with this method. I like to pretend that when I put the blanket over my head, I become invisible and no one can find me until I wake and come out from under the magical blanket. Childish? I think not!

  • Sex: I'm sure most of you know that sex could be known as the #1 stress reliever of all. I'm going to go so far as to state that I personally believe that sex IS the #1 stress reliever of all time! I won't go in to great detail as to how the pleasures of sex can make your mind, body and soul completely calm, content and rejuvenated! The simple fact that we're able to release all the tension inside, the sweat, the moans, groans, grrrowls, kisses, bites, licks, the sucking, the hardness, the wetness...mmmmmm Ohhhhhhh mmmmm right there....YESSSSSS!!! *cough* Anyway, it's truly a miracle from God! Moving on...

  • Exercise: Yeah, yeah, I know this one isn't as much fun as the others listed above...BUT it honestly can help with stress, a lot! I find that when I do exercise, my body is able to work out a lot of tension built up inside of me. Actually, when you think about it, exercise is kind of like sex... the fact that there's lots of sweat, maybe some groans, moans and yes even grrrowls. Not to mention all the calories burned. If you're really stressed, I'd suggest having a good exercise session and then go right for the sex or masturbation. Actually now that I think about it, you can combine any of these things to have ultimate de-stressing!

  • Massage: I honestly think massages are amazing. Sometimes after I get a massage I might even have an emotional release that some like to call crying... I was told It's perfectly healthy, trust me... ANYWAY massages are beautiful and very helpful. I'm personally a big fan of what I like to call the "tantric" massage. (you might not want to ask a professional massage therpist for this kind of massage though...) But, if your man/woman is willing and uses some of that self heating massage oil, allowing them to give you a "tantric" massage touching every, single part of your body, working out all the stress and tension built up, it is simply wonderful!

There you have it folks. That's how I get rid of the stress in my life! Now if you would please excuse me, It's been a very stressful day, I gotta go "de-stress"...

Friday, August 24, 2007

Gone Sexing.

Be back soon.

Please leave a message after the beep...

Thursday, August 16, 2007

A Conversation between sisters...

Blogging friends, what you're about to read is an actual conversation that took place between me and my sister, while we were walking to the next bar downtown...

RevRee: How does my cleavage look in this shirt?

Sister: It looks amazing! Try having 2 huge over filled water balloons for breasts

RevRee: I don't think they look like over filled water balloons. At least your boobs are bigger then mine...

Sister: Yeah, well take a look at this picture on my cell phone I sent my boyfriend the other day...

RevRee: HELL NO! I don't want to see the filthy pictures you send to him!!! GROSS!

Sister: Rev, you've seen me naked a million freakin' times, NOW LOOK!

RevRee: ....FINE, I'll take a look... But seriously, I don't want to know any details about his erection err reaction I mean...

Sister: You see that, my breasts look like those women in National Geographic, when their boobs hang down past their knees!!! This is the curse I have to live with every single day, fearing that my ta-tas sag and that one day, I may accidentally hit them with my knee!!

RevRee: BWHAHAHAHAhahahhahahahahaahhaha
*cough* No, no! They don't look like Ethiopian breasts, I swear! Listen, there's lots of men who enjoy extremely large breasts like yours...really...

Sister: You're right, there's a lot of women who would die for these things!

RevRee: That's right sister! Now say, "I got enormously huge boobs and I'm damn proud of it!!" like really loud !

Sister: I got enormously huge boobs and I'm damn proud of it!!

Man, I love my sister, we can talk about anything!

This story is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Monday, August 06, 2007

I think he's having an affair...

with the bed...

Yes my dear blogging friends. I've just recently started suspecting that my "pseudo boyfriend" is having some type of sick, twisted affair with the bed....YES, THE BED HE SLEEPS IN!!!

Just the other night, I'm getting ready for bed and I hear something...I stop to listen and I can hear him talking in that low, whisper voice he does...the one he uses when trying to seduce me. (trust me, it doesn't take much...what? I can't help it....)

ANYWAY, I stop brushing my teeth and listen. I hear him saying something like,
"Oh baby, you are so beautiful, you make me feel so goood, I just love falling in to you. Mmmmm GOD! I just want to sink deep into your warm soft pillows and fall asleep in you"

I bust out laughing, thinking he's talking to me. I say something like...
"I'll be there in a second babe..."

He doesn't answer, he continues...

"you're so warm, so fucking soft.

I just want to lay on top of you, grinding my hot, sweaty, dirty body against you and your softness, just letting me and all my manliness sink in.

The way you take all of me without a word of protest, wrapping your softness around my entire body sending warmth through me.

I love those little noises you makes during sex and the way you squeak when I bounce up and down, up and down, up and down on top of you...GRRRRRRRROWL!!!"

(yes ladies and gentlemen, he actually grrrowled)

Just after the last growl, I walk in and he's laying in the WHORE bed, hard-on and all, he sees me and quickly says,

"WHAT? HUH? WHO? WHAT HAPPENED? The bed means nothing to be baby...I swear..."

And then....then, he grunted.... and I'm about 99.9% sure he came...

*I snapped the picture above, catching him in the act to keep as evidence*