Thursday, August 30, 2007

How to beat stress 101

Hello my blogging friends. Today I'd like to talk about STRESS. We all have it in our lives, sometimes we have it more then other times. But, it's a simple fact of life to have this thorn in our flesh.

With that being said, I thought I'd list some of the ways I like to DE-STRESS. I'm hoping that some of these, if not all of the little ideas I'm bringing before you, will help each and every one of you in some way or another.

Let's begin...
  • Masturbation: Now, there's some controversy on this matter. I know that some of us were always told by our parents and maybe even society that masturbation was BAD! And if you did it, you might even go to HELL! (Yes, I was told this...) But I've found in my research throughout the years, that just can't be true. This amazing act can seriously help in many areas in our lives. If done responsibly and hopefully in the privacy of our own homes. (Maybe sometimes in the car, at night...when you've been driving for hours and you just can't help it...) Masturbation can help with sleep deprivation, stress, menstrual cramps, anger and yes, even headaches. Works every time...

  • Long Hot Shower/Bath: For me personally, I'm not a huge bath person. The thought of soaking in my own filth really doesn't do much for me. But hey, if that's what helps you de-stress more power to ya. Me on the other hand, I enjoy a good long, hot shower. Nothing feels better then the feel of really warm/hot drops of water streaming down my naked body while I use my favorite melon grapefruit body wash, cleansing my entire being. Sometimes I'll lean in against the cool tile wall and just let the water slowly slide down my nakedness.

  • Sleep: Ahhhh yes, sleep! I love to sleep! Sometimes I sleep way to much. (is it possible to be addicted to sleep?) Sleeping can really help with the stress in your life. I know that sometimes what I'm really stressed out, I'll go in to my bedroom, turn on my fan, strip down to my panties, slide in to bed, pull the covers over my head and simply disappear in to blissful sleep. The blanket really helps with this method. I like to pretend that when I put the blanket over my head, I become invisible and no one can find me until I wake and come out from under the magical blanket. Childish? I think not!

  • Sex: I'm sure most of you know that sex could be known as the #1 stress reliever of all. I'm going to go so far as to state that I personally believe that sex IS the #1 stress reliever of all time! I won't go in to great detail as to how the pleasures of sex can make your mind, body and soul completely calm, content and rejuvenated! The simple fact that we're able to release all the tension inside, the sweat, the moans, groans, grrrowls, kisses, bites, licks, the sucking, the hardness, the wetness...mmmmmm Ohhhhhhh mmmmm right there....YESSSSSS!!! *cough* Anyway, it's truly a miracle from God! Moving on...

  • Exercise: Yeah, yeah, I know this one isn't as much fun as the others listed above...BUT it honestly can help with stress, a lot! I find that when I do exercise, my body is able to work out a lot of tension built up inside of me. Actually, when you think about it, exercise is kind of like sex... the fact that there's lots of sweat, maybe some groans, moans and yes even grrrowls. Not to mention all the calories burned. If you're really stressed, I'd suggest having a good exercise session and then go right for the sex or masturbation. Actually now that I think about it, you can combine any of these things to have ultimate de-stressing!

  • Massage: I honestly think massages are amazing. Sometimes after I get a massage I might even have an emotional release that some like to call crying... I was told It's perfectly healthy, trust me... ANYWAY massages are beautiful and very helpful. I'm personally a big fan of what I like to call the "tantric" massage. (you might not want to ask a professional massage therpist for this kind of massage though...) But, if your man/woman is willing and uses some of that self heating massage oil, allowing them to give you a "tantric" massage touching every, single part of your body, working out all the stress and tension built up, it is simply wonderful!

There you have it folks. That's how I get rid of the stress in my life! Now if you would please excuse me, It's been a very stressful day, I gotta go "de-stress"...

14 Comments:

Blogger Tyler Durden said...

"...streaming down my naked body..." I love the soft port style of this post. I thought I was watching Cinemax for a second. Time for my daily pre-breakfast de-stressing session.

Thu Aug 30, 07:03:00 AM  
Blogger Mortarbored said...

I agree with the above. After reading this post I need some of #4, but will have to settle for #1.

Thu Aug 30, 11:04:00 AM  
Blogger Jenny! said...

The great thing is...even if your not stressed those things are pretty fucking fantastic still!

Thu Aug 30, 11:26:00 AM  
Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

Why do I feel the sudden desire for a cigarette? And I don't even smoke!

Thu Aug 30, 05:09:00 PM  
Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Good tips. I got me one of them spongy stress reliever things you squeeze with your hand. It helped a lot...especially when I shoved it up my boss's ass.

Thu Aug 30, 06:30:00 PM  
Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I could see the good Doctor trying to get Rev worked up with a sensual massage, and then she would cry for the next hour.

That would totally backfire on me.

Fri Aug 31, 09:19:00 AM  
Blogger SpongyBones said...

After reading the first way listed I practiced ... now I'm blind and will never be able to read another one of your posts!

Fri Aug 31, 10:28:00 AM  
Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

Dyck - I never thought of using mine in that manner. I bet it would worked far better than just squeezing it!

Fri Aug 31, 11:28:00 AM  
Blogger ajooja said...

Yeah, if I can't have sex or mastubate, I'm in sad shape. Gotta keep the prostate gland working. :)

Fri Aug 31, 02:08:00 PM  
Blogger The [Cherry] Ride said...

While sex is the best, followed by a massage, nothing beats a log flogging for its ease, convenience and quickness.

Mon Sep 03, 06:57:00 PM  
Blogger Sassy Blondie said...

You forgot alcohol...namely the Dirty Martini. I find it not only helps with stress, but it also invites #2 and #3 to help out as well. I'm just sayin...

Mon Sep 03, 08:57:00 PM  
Blogger SpongyBones said...

I know what you are doing to beat stress ...

Wed Sep 05, 09:53:00 AM  
Anonymous jdllizard said...

I'm guessing the alcohol could help with #4 also. It seems to at my local watering hole.

Fri Sep 07, 12:04:00 AM  
Blogger SpongyBones said...

How the hell can I beat my stress if you don't blog anymore! LAZY!

Mon Sep 10, 11:39:00 AM  

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