Kiss & Tell

Do you ever think back to all the different types of kisses you've experienced throughout your life? I was talking the other day with some of my friends and we all had great stories to share about kissing.

I've decided to put together a little guide to try and describe all the different types of kisses that some of you might experience or have already experienced in life. Some are good, some are bad, some are amazing some are horrible.

As you read this, you might find that you've kissed like one of these descriptions, or had someone bless you with their expert kissing skills. I read once that "The language of a kiss is communication without words"

With that said, not all these kisses have I personally experienced. (If you're someone I've made out with and you're reading this, relax it's all good) I've taken some notes from friends and come up with a pretty good mix of kissing methods/styles for everyone to enjoy.

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The Big Gulp Kisser:
This type of kisser has no regard for the other participant in the art of kissing. The kisser loses all control of their saliva glands and they just let the "water" flow... It really isn't a pleasant sight or experience. I've been told that some have even gagged and almost drowned when this type of kissing occurs.

I Just Died in your Arms Tonight Kisser:
Usually this kisser takes their time (maybe too much time) kissing very, very, very gently across the corners of your mouth. They eventually move to the upper lip, then the lower. Never really giving one spot total attention but continues to kiss all over, over and over again. This could cause a kissing trance and you may find yourself drifting off. This kissing style can be very effective if you use this technique to tease your partner and every now and then try to concentrate on one area.

Take a Bite out of Crime Kiss:
This type of kiss has to be done very carefully. While kissing, the kisser "gently" bite the lower lip, but be VERY gentle not to hurt your partner. If not done correctly there could be blood involved. (some of you might be in to that kinda thing. If that's the case, then you might find the slight blood to be a total turn on...SICKO!) This kiss, I have to admit is one of my favorites (w/out the blood) I've also been known to be this kisser... (you've been warned). Word to the wise though, this should only be done with someone that you've kissed a few times before, otherwise you may shock your partner.

You need a Good Tongue Lashing Kisser:
This kisser may appear as though they're high on crack. The tongue is fast, furious, their darting and/or a high-speed swirling motions, might remind you of a washing machine on the rinse cycle. You might even experience a severe tongue lashing to the face if you're not careful with this kisser. They usually don't just stop at the mouth, which if you're in to that sort of thing can't be so bad...

A little Dab Will Do Ya Kisser:
This technique is done souly with the tip of the tongue. The kisser has somehow mastered the concept of not touching any part of the other persons body at all. Nothing else is used, but simply the tip of the tongue. Not the mouth, no hand movement, not even the base of the tongue is used. The body is stiff and maybe even slightly awkward It's a very cold and mechanical technique. It leaves the one being kissed feeling unfulfilled and empty. Not one I would suggest for anyone.

Sign, Sealed, Delivered Kisser:
This kisser has mastered the whole idea of kissing. They usually start out very slow, kissing your entire mouth. Then moving to the lower lip, sucking it gently into their own mouth. Then they switch things up a bit and move their head slightly to the side, kissing the edge of your mouth. Then back to your whole mouth for a passionate kiss, with an added pleasant surprise of the very tip of their tongue knocking at your mouths door. They use their entire body for their kisses. Their hands are softly on your face caressing or holding, everything seems to be in tune with what is needed next.

I want to Fuck you like an Animal Kisser:
The kisser is super horny, and has no control over their hormones or their mouth. They're a bit too excited and for some reason they're really in a rush. They just dive right in, whether the other person is ready or not. They start out shoving their whole tongue right down your throat, opening their mouth wide and going for the kill. This can be unpleasant and slightly annoying as the kisser isn't taking the time to enjoy any aspects of the art of kissing. SOME times, this can be fun, IF done with timing and an assessment of the situation and surroundings at hand.

Boombastic Kisser:
This kisser first start out gently licking your lips with the tip of their tongue. Then softly blowing or sighing into your mouth, causing a tingling feeling that will seriously intensify the kissing experience. Then they slide their tongue across the edges of the other's mouth. Which will create almost an unbearable amount of chills down your spine. They will then sometimes start saying sweet things as their lips brush ever so softly against your mouth.

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I hope my little guide will help you figure out what works for your kissing technique and style. I also hope that we've all learned what not to do when it comes to kissing.

Just remember, it all comes down to knowing what your kissing partner needs, wants, likes and dislikes. Always try to get to know them, take it slow, but not too slow!

Oh yeah, if you don't have anyone to kiss, peaches, kiwis, bananas and plums work for practice... not that I know or anything, I've just heard they're good for practice......

ANYWAY, good luck!

*yes, those are my lips in the photo above*