Saturday, August 12, 2006

I HAD THE BEST SEX LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

I went out for a drink with a few friends last night. Some chick joins us who happens to be really annoying and kinda clingy/needy. She sits down, and out of the blue, blurts out to the entire table,
"I HAD THE BEST SEX LAST NIGHT!" Complete silence from the entire table. I actually think you could hear a baby crying off in the distance and someone drop a glass...

I looked at her and said "Ummm Wha???" she continues, " See, he had poison ivy and hadn't pleasured himself for such a long time. It's gone now, he was a wild man! We fucked all nigh... *giggle*"

Again, complete silence from the entire table. I actually think you could hear a baby crying off in the distance and someone drop a glass...

Hey, I've had amazing sex too lady, but I don't go around telling random people about it. That just isn't classy! Come on now, what is the REAL reason you want everyone and their mother to know you had "great" sex? is it because you have a low self image and the only way you think anyone would be remotely interested in you, is if the only thing you can talk about is sex?

I could go on and on and on and on about how sizzling hot the last time I had sex was! Oh Lord do I have stories! But, NO I refuse to go in to great detail as to how fucking amazing the sex was. I have to much respect for others to share how we went at it all night long... I know better then to tell a bunch of strangers about the way he moved, how much stamina he had, and that thing he did with his tongue...

Nope, that just isn't my style...

19 Comments:

Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Somebody shut up that fucking baby that keeps crying in the distance.

Sat Aug 12, 05:24:00 PM  
Blogger Travel Italy said...

If you had a great meal, or a great wine, or saw a great movie, would you have problems telling everyone and their mother? I think not. Why the problem with sex? Perhaps sex is dirty and something that you shouldn't engage in?

Sat Aug 12, 07:13:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Listen here Mr Italy, Sex is dirty! It's very, very dirty! Ohhhh god is it dirty!! Mmmmmm Ohhhhh GOD yessss!!!! So DIRTY!!!

*cough*

I mean, of course if I had a great meal or wine or saw a great movie I'd tell people. I just don't think sharing something like having a great fuck with a bunch of random people is very classy.

Sat Aug 12, 07:40:00 PM  
Blogger Willo Keays said...

come on Rev - DEETAILS! Some of us have to live vicariously through you - and - WE WANT TO KNOW ALL!!!!

Sat Aug 12, 07:42:00 PM  
Anonymous KC said...

I had awesome sex a couple nights ago too. But then she popped. I cried as I threw her in the trash.

Sun Aug 13, 12:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

strangers love my tongue

Sun Aug 13, 01:12:00 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

I am sure you WOULD tell us, but it was so long ago that it's a distant memeory, huh? :)

Sun Aug 13, 02:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Soto said...

Shiiiit... I cant even remember the last time I had sex. TMI??? LOL.

kc: You poor thing LOL

Surfing through from BE.

Sun Aug 13, 03:08:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Hushy, I'll email ya ;-)

KC, my I interest you in www.realdoll.com

Anonymous, Don't I know you?...

Mr. Fabulous, bite me!

soto Thanks for stoppin by! I hope you have sex soon!

Sun Aug 13, 03:27:00 PM  
Blogger Travel Italy said...

Revree - I meant no disrepect for personal principles and culture. I do think that our obsession, in the States, creates unintended difficulties for our youth. I know my upbringing made me make several very bad and very costly decisions.

Sun Aug 13, 03:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Soto said...

Thanks Revree... so do I LOL

Sun Aug 13, 04:00:00 PM  
Anonymous KC said...

Wait, why does RevRee wish soto to have sex, but points me to the RealDoll? Now I really feel alone. :(

Sun Aug 13, 08:47:00 PM  
Blogger thebillofbrothers said...

Not classy at all...

And I would love to go into details about my clever usage of a pillow for support this weekend...

...but it's just not classy. I'd never do that. Ever.

Mon Aug 14, 08:35:00 AM  
Blogger Skwerly said...

Tacky!!! I don't ever want details of anyone's last great bangfest, even if we are close friends. I'd never offer up information pertaining to my most recent conquest of my husband (the slut). Better to be flushed pink with the memory, and, if pressed, coyly state that you don't kiss and tell.

Great sex is not like dinner or a flick. Unless said sex was with the town ho-bag, no one else is gonna go "sample the wares" like they could a recommended restaurant or movie. Best to keep your adventures private.

Mon Aug 14, 02:30:00 PM  
Blogger Joanna said...

I'm with ya Revree, its tacky to talk about your sex life with strangers.

Mon Aug 14, 03:32:00 PM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

Well of course I have to tell people! It's not like there was another person present during the act itself to share it with.

Tue Aug 15, 11:03:00 AM  
Anonymous JR said...

Nice try...

Thu Aug 17, 12:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Tripe Face said...

Rev, Dahling. Thanks so much for keeping our private affairs private. All that matters to me is that you are happy, satisfied, satiated, physically spent and barely able to walk.

I'm glad you chose NOT to tell a bar full of people about our nights of passion.

Luv Ya,

Tripe

Mon Aug 21, 05:02:00 PM  
Blogger Crashtest Comic said...

I fart waaaaaaaaaaay too much!

Tue Aug 22, 05:14:00 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home