Sunday, July 30, 2006

BIG SWIG OF WARM JAGERMEISTER!!!

So I go out last night to a street party. Yeah, let me tell ya, it was a great night for a party outside! NOT! It was SO FREAKING HOT!! It was like a huge outdoor sauna/sweathouse with no relief in sight!

Anyway, I'm standing outside waiting for the "man of my dreams"who braved the inside bar to attempt to get us some drinks. (From now on, I'm going to call "the man of my dreams", Tom)

So, "Tom" is someplace buried deep inside this bar, as I'm standing outside dodging empty bottles of colt 45 being thrown to the ground. I finally spot some people I know and make my way to them for cover. We're all standing there, talking about how crowded it was and how horrible the heat was, as I see this drunk dude come stand by us.

One of my friends "Jared" whispers in my ear, "I went to high school with that dude". Just as he says this, the dude takes a look at me and starts shouting "JACKSON HIGH, CLASS OF '95 WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Before I could say anything, he grabs me and lifts me off the ground swirling me around in circles. I'm thinking to myself "What the hell?...HELP!!!!"

He lets me back on my feet to stand on my own. Again, before I could tell this guy I had no idea who the fuck he was, I didn't go to Jackson High and I graduated in 1996. He shoves this huge bottle of warm jagermeister wrapped in a paper bag in my face. I'm thinking to myself"Someone, please help, NO! NOT WARM JAGERMEISTER!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH" He says " come'on you're a grown woman, take a drink!!!!!" Yes, folks peer pressure can still work when you're a grown woman.

I grab the warm bottle, wrap my lips around it and take a huge gulp. It takes everything I have not to puke this crap back up in the guys face! I finally swallow like a good girl and this meat-head slaps me on the back like I'm one of his football buddies. "Good Job dude!!!" he says as he hands off the bottle to my friend "Jared".

Finally, after another shot of warm jager, "Tom" makes his was back with our drinks. By this time, I'm a little tingly. The meat-head sees "Tom and walks up to him and shouts "JACKSON HIGH, CLASS OF '95 WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" I'm thinking "Oh god, here we go again..." The meat-head continues "have a drink man" so, "Tom" takes a huge swig, hands it back to the guy and thanks him. I was so tempted to whisper "That is so fucking hot, take me now!!!!"

Not to longer after that, we make our way inside the heat infested bar. Had a few more drinks, and then deciede to to get a late night snack at a local diner. All in all, we had a great night! It was just so damn hot!

"JACKSON HIGH, CLASS OF '95 WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

2 Comments:

Blogger Chief Scientist said...

I can't speak for anyone else but I am comforted that peer pressure still works enough for you to put your lips around random things stuck in your face.

Not what you guys are think either, pervs.

I am talking about sex.

Mon Jul 31, 01:36:00 AM  
Blogger thebillofbrothers said...

So if I ever wanted to spread my mouth herps or just straight poison the masses, I just have to walk around a street party with a bottle of... (I can't even say it)... and people will drink it???

Mwaah Ha Ha Ha!

Mon Jul 31, 09:48:00 AM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

(in my best Homer Simpson voice)
Mmmmmmmmmm, back-washy ........

Mon Jul 31, 07:31:00 PM  

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