I LOVE TOM JONES & AL GREEN!

If I could attend any concert these two, amazing, gifted, creative artists were performing I'd pay top dollar! Oh LORD, and if the concert were featuring both of them together, I'd be in sheer bliss!

Now, let's take a look at a few of the master pieces these men have created...
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"Lets Stay Together" ~Al Green
"Let's, let's stay together Lovin' you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad"

All I can say is WOW! If you need to get in the "mood" this is the song that says it all! If this song doesn't turn you on and prepare you for some lovin', then you must be dead!
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"Sex Bomb" ~Tom Jones
"Sexbomb sexbomb you're a sexbomb You can give it to me when I
need to come along Sexbomb sexbomb you're my sexbomb And baby you can turn me on turn me on darlin'"

Whenever I hear this song, I can't help but shout out the amazingly
soulful lyrics! Who would have thought, this hairy white man had so much soul!
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"Love And Happiness" ~Al Green
"happiness is when you really feel good with somebody
nothing wrong with being in one with someone oh, baby,
love and happiness"

Who in their right mind wouldn't love this song?
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"She's a Lady" ~Tom Jones
"She's a Lady. Whoa whoa whoa, She's a Lady. Talkin' about
that little lady, and the lady is mine"

Now this is the perfect karaoke song! Of course I can't really be singing this song, because it's about a "lady" But, I'd suggest any guy to attempt to sing this song when ladies are around. They'll be throwing panties your way!
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Don't get me wrong, I'd never throw my panties at either of these men. I honestly don't find them the least bit attractive. I just can't help but smile when I hear their music.

If I ever get married, I'm going to invite Tom and Al to my wedding and ask them to sing a duo of "God Blessed our Love/It's Not Unusual" That would be sweet, don't ya think?

Original Christmas Gifts

Why is it, that so many people feel the need to get engaged during the Holiday season? Why is that the #1 thing expected by a couple that's been dating for a time. Everyone is always like "Oh, is HE going to propose to her this Christmas???" or "I bet his parents are coming to town so he can propose to her!!!"

Give me a freaking break! You may think my little outburst is jealousy, just because I don't happen to have a boyfriend right now...I'm not freaking jealous!! Stop looking at me like that! I honestly don't want to get engaged during a holiday. Come up with something original people!

Why must people always follow everyone else? Why can't we think of something original and personal? Rather than, proposing on Christmas night, Christmas Eve, New Years Eve....blah blah blah! You get the idea.

Anyway, I had a Merry Christmas! I didn't get proposed to or anything "fancy" like that, BUT, I did get a great DVD, "The Dirty Dozen" one of the best movies ever made! No, really, I love it...I promise!

~* MERRY CHRISTMAS*~

Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts. No matter how we may dread the rush, the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given... when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes.

Merry Christmas to everybody and a Happy New Year to all the world!

"For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord." -- Luke 2:11

Tag THIS!

I've been tagged by Rain. I'm not sure how this all works, but I guess I'm suppose to answer the questions below...

You get one wish of anything, what would you ask for?
I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing In Perfect Harmony!


Wish for 6 more wishes:
1. I wish I could sing like Mahalia Jackson, then Dyck would stop making fun of me
2. I wish I had a million dollars
3. I wish I could take the pain away from others
4. I wish I could be a cage fighter
5. I wish I could see the ocean
6. I wish I could fly

What animal would you be?
Panther

Something you want to do in your life.
Make babies

One song you could listen to over and over again.
Queen: Somebody to love

Coke or Pepsi?
Pepsi

Something you currently desire.
Sex

One good deed you've done lately.
I gave $2 to the bell ringer outside of Walmart!

A funny moment in your life.
Once I was on vacation with a BF, we forgot to close the door of the hotel room and umm...people saw stuff...bad stuff...real bad stuff


I think thats about it! I am now tagging the following people

Sedated Gorilla

Frank U. McBoob

HushHush

Ewink's Blog

The Birds & Bees 101

At one point in my life, I was living with 3 other chicks, one of them was engaged. She was a virgin, as was he. They wanted to wait until after marriage before doing the cha-cha. I don't have a problem with that at all. If two people want to wait to experience something so wonderful until after getting married, that’s cool.

Anyway, one day my roommate, we'll call her "Susie Q", she comes up to me all excited wanting to show me a new book she got at the bookstore for the both of them. It was about "what happens on your wedding night" to make this story even better, it was a pop-up book!

"Susie Q" starts talking to me about said book. She says she didn't understand some of the things in the book it's telling her to do. OH LORD, were my thoughts...I say "Ok, I can try and answer some of the questions for you, if you'd like?" She answers in her shy voice "yes please". She says, "in the book it's saying that I might be really tight and that I may need to stimulate certain areas to try and loosen up some.." She goes on "What does that mean???"

I'm a bit shocked at this point. I'm thinking " What the hell have you two been doing in the bed room with the door shut all those nights, if you haven't been "stimulating" certain areas???" My second thought "Do you masturbate??? Have you ever???, comon don't lie!" I look over at her, give her a sweet smile and say "Susie Q, honey, have you thought about having him help you?" She says "WHAT?? what do you mean??" (Folks, this is a 25 year old women...she had no idea what I was saying)

It took everything in me not to start laughing! Not because I wanted to make fun of her, but because she honestly just didn't understand. I took a deep breath and said "ummm you know, use his fingers or even his mouth, maybe" "Susie Q" says to me "oh wow... WOW, I never thought about that" I was so close to saying "when you guys are making out WHAT on earth are you doing???"

You mean to tell me, the whole time these two people have been seriously dating and making out, that they haven't even TOUCHED certain areas??? Is she wearing a chastity belt or what?? And what does this say about said guy she's going to marry? If he hasn't already been down there, he probably doesn't know what to do either!!

I don't have a problem if people want to wait to have sex until marriage, that's just fine! I'll support it. But, to not know a single thing about each others
sexuality, that’s messed up!

I imagine their sex life after marriage isn’t very enjoyable. But then again, THANK GOD I don't think about it. They probably make sex appointments once a month "is December 31st good for you?" or they only have sex on Saturday nights with the lights out and the blinds closed! They probably sleep in separate beds and push them together once a week!

In all seriousness people, sex is supposed to be enjoyable. You're supposed to learn about the other person and what they need and want. It shouldn't be something not talked about and taboo in a relationship, it should be talked about and often.

But, then once again, "Susie Q" has a man, I don't...who's the loser?

Hey Everybody, let's go Sledding!

When I was 10 years old, I had a crush on this 14 year old boy. One day me, my sister and 2 older brothers, all went sledding with another group of boys.(one being my crush at the time) He came up to me, and says "Hey RevRee, wanna go down the hill in my sled with me? I'm in complete shock I just look up at him in awe! Finally I say...."uh huh... (I was kinda shy back then)

He says, "ok get in, I'll get behind you" I hop on the sled he gets behind me and tells me "now we're going to go over that ramp down there and when I say get out...jump off! or we're going to hit the water." At that point, my blood runs ice cold, I'm in total terror! (NO ONE TOLD ME WE WERE GONNA JUMP A DAMN RAMP!!!) Before I had any time to change my mind, he puts his arms around me, holds on to the rope, then someone, I have no idea who, pushes us! We start down the hill at warp speed!!!

I start screaming, he's laughing...Suddenly we come to the "ramp"! To the right I see another kid going for the SAME "ramp" at the same time!!! SHIT!!!!! We collide. I see bursts of light all round me... I fly, he flies and the other kid flies. I land with my back arched over this mound of snow that was used for the so called "ramp". Just then, 4 people come sliding over the top of me! BOOM, BOOM, BAM, SPLAT! I just laid there I couldn't move.

My older brother comes charging down the hill, he runs over, he's says "what the hell were you doing? Are you ok??? I'm still laying arched over this "ramp" I just couldn't move. He says, "can you get up? I say "n..o" He grabs me by my jacket and carries me like a bag of potatoes back up the hill. I get back up to the top, my brother wouldn't let me play anymore. I was done. I hurt my tail bone a little bit, though nothing was broke.

The good news is, I can still arch my back today!

Sick and Twisted Joke

Isn't it funny how life is? Why is it that when you meet someone you're drawn and attracted to, they're either

A)Already Dating someone

B)Married

C)Not interested

D)Far away

Then, just to make things fun and interesting, you've got someone who's found themselves attracted to you. But you're not interested. What kind of sick & twisted joke is this that life is playing on us? I mean, have you ever found yourself attracted to someone, there also seems to be an attraction to you from them. Only to find out they're one of the above options. Don't you just feel like you're not only the biggest fool but also a complete loser!

How is it that one person can feel so strongly for someone, and the other person couldn't care any less if you live or die. Is there something in the water to make this simple fact so true? When does that exact formula work? When two people are free and clear from any type of relationship, attracted to each other and everything just slips into place.

How do people find that someone? I have no idea...I thought I found it once or twice. But as you can see, that was just another sick & twisted joke by fate.

Sometimes, I wonder if God is looking down on us and thinking "I wonder if I do this, how will he/she react... HA HA HA, let's try it and see..."

I honestly don't believe God is mean and wants us to suffer, but sometimes, what else could it be??? Are we doing something to prevent that someone from coming into our lives?

Is it because we're blinded by the stresses of life, we don't see a person for who they really are? Are we so obsessed by someone else that we miss the true person for us? Are we so desperate to find that someone, we miss out on the joys of life all together? How do you know when it's right? I've asked that questions before, I always get the same damn answer " You just know...It's just....right"

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN??? "you just know" I'd like to believe that's true, but sadly as I continue in this life, It becomes less and less believable.

Anyway, enough pouting, I need a drink!

* Side note, a new member to my blog network! Welcome

Blog Portland

The Hand Bone's Connected to the Wrist Bone...

As some of you may know, I have a slight obsession with hands. Actually, male hands to be exact. Some people have a thing for feet or legs or eyes. I have a thing for hands...STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!!!

Anyway, I just can't seem to get over this slight obsession. So, I've put together a little " Hands Hall of Fame". I had each hand owner gave me a quote about their hands. I hope you enjoy my museum of hands as much as I do!
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"My right hand has gotten me through many lonely nights. I'm also the original owner"
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"The left one isn't used as much as the right, except when I had a wart on my right thumb and was afraid to touch my penis with it"
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"I know what you're thinking. He has small hands and a sports car. But don't. I have a big dick too."
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"Small hands, accentuated with rings"
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"C Cup?" (no, that's not my chest...I PROMISE!)
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"Ergonomically Safe"
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The Claw!!!!!!
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"Beer dribbled"
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"Firm, yet soft"
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I have a few more hands that will be added, so please stand by for more to come!

*If you too would like to have your hands displayed in the "Hands Hall of Fame Museum" please submit your entries Here with a small quote about your hands. (Please NO pornographic material!)

Is that...Desperado, you're singing?

Ok listen here, I got a very special request, from a very, very special person to sing Desperado. Please, please have mercy on me, as you post your comments. It's hard to record yourself singing on the damn phone. (Plus having just had 3 long islands, those lyrics are really hard to read) I just want you all to know, it took me like 20 recordings to get it as good as you're about to hear. Without further ado! Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you REVREE!!!!!

Stick shifts & safety belts

A few years ago my boyfriend at the time (100% bastard) thought it was time I learned how to drive a stick shift vehicle. He drove a dove white 2000 Mitsubishi eclipse, as pictured above. It was a manual sports car and he wanted me to learn how to drive stick with this! HIS NEW CAR!

I say "You must be joking, there is NO way I'm going to try and drive that thing!"

He goes on ."No baby, you need to learn, I trust you, it's all good"

I'm like "HELL, I don't trust myself!"

Anyway, a friend of mine came along for the "Ride" She was riding in the back seat. My boyfriend at the time (100% bastard) takes us to this long stretch of road outside of town. He pulls over and says, "hop on over darlin!" I'm pretty much scared out of my freaking mind by this time. I didn't want to be responsible for this brand new car. I didn't want to die in a horrible car accident!

I hop over to the drivers side seat. I'm shaking like a leaf, my palms start sweating profusely, and I can't seem to get enough air to breath. He looks over at me and starts laughing. " hahahhaa baby, you'll be just fine" I reach over and buckle my seat belt, as does my friend in the back as she giggles saying "I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die"

I slowly turn the key and the smoov sound of the engine lights right up. " WOW!" I say under my breath. My boyfriend at the time (100% bastard) begins to coach me as to how to drive this beast.

I start off doing pretty well...there's a few massive jerks here and there, but I didn't think there was anything so bad, that my supposed FRIEND in the back seat decides to crawl down on the floor of the back, getting in the fetal position and begin praying, for her very soul.

I finally get up to about 60mph on this long stretch of highway. We come up behind a slower car and my boyfriend at the time (100% bastard) tells me it's time to pass this car. My palms start sweating once again, my grip tightens on the steering wheel and I slightly start to panic. He continues to try and talk me down...coaching me as to what gear I need to shift to and how it's all gonna take place.

I take a deep breath and say a prayer under my breath. I start pressing on the gas as we exhilarate faster and faster, Just as I get right along side the car, I see another car coming right towards us!!!!! I instantly panic "OH SHIT!!! I hear my supposed friend in the back seat begin to cry and scream all at the same time as she also says "OH SHITTTTTTTT" Then she starts whaling, I hear my boyfriend at the time (100% bastard) say under his breath Fuck...

The car is coming at us at what seems like warp speed! My boyfriend at the time (100% bastard) grabs the gear shift and steering wheel, shouts out something to me about pressing the clutch and hitting the gas! We speed up, get past the car and pull over just as the on-coming car whizzes by.

We sit there on the side of the road, for maybe 10 minutes in complete silence. Then all of a sudden he starts laughing, my supposed friends asks "Is it safe to come out now?" Which makes him laugh even more, this triggers me to begin laughing. My supposed friend slowly slides back up to the seat as she begins to laugh! All three of us sit there laughing for another 10-15 minutes. Then all of a sudden my boyfriend at the time (100% bastard) says "I'll drive now" So, we switch seats, drop off my friend, go home and have hot sex. True story

I'm a NERD!

Ok, so I tried this "Audioblogging" thingy...I thought I'd sing you a sweet little song. I know, I know...I should be on broadway! Hahahaha

Check It!

Just a quick note introducing
three new friends to my Blogging Network.

Thoughts of Gideon

Funnier Than You Are

Mutant Emily

Once again, each of them has their very own unique point of view & style. I hope everyone will take some time to check out their work. Also remember if you haven't already, take a look at the others on my Blogging Network, they are all high quality blogs!

Thanks, that's all for now!

With warm heart...

I was inspired by Mighty Dyckerson recent email exchange. So, I wanted to share something from a young scammer named Okafor Celestine I thought I'd have a little fun with him...take a look!...


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*Okafor's first email to me
Good day,
with warm heart I use this opportunity to offer my pen-pal friendship to you.However,Iam bro okafor celestine prosper,a christian,single youngman, black in complexion, 1.68m tall, residing in abidjan ivory coast.Finally I am looking forward to receive your reply. thank and GOD bless you exceedingly.
yours affectionately,
okafor celestine prosper.

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*My reply
Dear Okafor,

I've been praying for something like this. A little about myself. I'm a 40 year old single female. I've been in the adult film industry for most of my life, since I was 16. I've starred in many films. Maybe you've even seen some of them? "Fluffy Does Dallas", "May I fluff your Pillow?"...just to name a few big money makers. I have a daughter who's following in my footsteps...I'm very proud. I'm sure you already know that I'm a very successful adult film producer in the LA area. I just made over $10 million dollars my latest film "Caramello & Cream". Anyway, I'm really happy that you found me. I would love to know more about you. Please get back to me!


Always,

Fluffy
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*Okafor
DEAR FLUFFY,

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL.YOU HAVE SHOWN ME AN UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.INFACT,YOU ARE MY FRIEND INDEED!.I AM VERY EXCITED AND DELIGTED IN HAVING YOU IN MY MIDST OK.
HOWEVER, CONCERNING ME, I AM BRO OKAFOR CELESTINE PROSPER,RESIDING IN ABIDJAN IVORY COAST, 28 YRS,1.68 M TALL , SINGLE YOUNG MAN , A CHRISTIAN. I CAME FROM FAMILY OF 5 (THREE BOYS AND TWO GIRLS). MY PARENTS ARE PEASANT FARMER.MY FATHER'S NAME IS MR PAUL OKAFOR AND MUMMY'S NAME IS MRS ESTHER OKAFOR. FINALLY,I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU, YOUR FAMILY BACKGROUND. THANKS AND GOD BLESSYOU AND KEEP YOU AMEN.HAVE A NICE DAY. LOOKING FORWARD TO RECEIVING YOUR REPLY.

YOURS EVER,
OKAFOR CELESTINE PROSPER.

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*My Reply
Dear Okafor,

Thank you for your speedy reply! I'm so excited to know more about you. I grew up in Kansas. When I was 15 years old, I met a man (Bruce) who swept me off my feet. He showed me so many new and exciting things in the world. He thought I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen! He would tell me all the time. Especially when I would give him what he wanted...If I didn't give him what he wanted, he wasn't too happy.

I learned my place very quickly. He took me to LA for my 16th Birthday ( I never returned to Kansas) My birthday gift from him, he got me into the movies! All I had to do was look pretty for the cameras and everything would be just fine.

A Year later I had my daughter. Her name is Honey! One day Bruce told me he was going out for a pack of cigarettes...that was 23 years ago. I haven't seen him since. My daughter is now 23...she works for my Film production company. She's making quite a name for herself, I'm very proud!

I have a photo shoot right now...I hope to hear from you very soon!

Always,

Fluffy
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*Okafor
DEAR BELOVED FLUFFY,
THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL.I HEARD WHAT YOU PASSED THROUGH.BUT I WANT TO ASSURE YOU THAT GOD ALMIGHTY NEEDS AND COUNTS ON YOU THAT IS WHY HE SAW YOU THROUGH.THANKS GOD FOR HIS GRACE AND HIS MERCY.FOR BY HIS COMPASSION, WE ARE NOT CONSUMED.MANY PASSED THROUGH WHAT YOU CONFRONTED AND YET THEY DO NOT SURVIVE IT .I KNOW HOW PAINFUL IT IS.BUT LEARN TO APPRECIATE GOD FOR YOUR WONDERFUL AND GLORIOUS LIFE. HOWEVER, I AM VERY EXCITED AND DELIGHTED IN HAVING YOU AROUND ME. I LOVE YOU BUT GOD LOVE YOU MOST. FINALLY, I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOUR PERSONAL PHONE NUMBER AND YOUR PICTURE OK THANKS AND MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU AMEN.HAVE A NICE DAY.LOOKING FORWARD TO RECEIVING YOUR REPLY.

YOURS EVER,
OKAFOR CELESTINE PROSPER.

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I grew tired and never wrote him again. THE END

or is it?...

They don't serve breakfast in Hell

Back in the day, I used to listen to this song often. I came across it once again recently and I realized there's a problem. As you'll read, It's song about hell, and it's kinda screwy.

It's by a Christian band. Now the band itself, they're actually pretty good. (I'm not a huge fan of modern Christian bands. I'm a Christian girl, it's just not usually my taste for music)

That being said, this song...It's just messed up! The words, they ring so happily in your ear and you find yourself knowing the song word-for-word. I found myself singling these lyrics over and over and over again...as though it's exciting and FUN. But the bottom line folks, they DO NOT SERVE BREAKFAST IN HELL!!!

"Hold the milk, put back the sugar
They are powerless to console
We've gathered here to sprinkle ashes
from our late friend's cereal bowl.
Breakfast Clubbers, say the motto
that he taught us to repeat:
"You will lose it in your gym class
if you wait `til noon to eat."

Back when the Chess Club said our eggs were soft
every Monday he'd say grace and hold our juice aloft
Oh, none of us knew his checkout time would come so soon But before his brain stopped waving, he composed this tune:

Chorus:

When the toast is burned,

And all the milk has turned

And cap'n crunch is wavin' farewell.

When the big one finds you

May this song remind you

That they don't serve breakfast, in hell

Breakfast clubbers, drop the hankies

Though to some our friend was odd,

that day he bought those pine pyjamas

His check was good with God

Those here without the lord,

How do you cope?

For this morning we don't mourn

Like those who have no hope

Oh rise up, Fruit Loop lovers

Sing out sweet and low

With spoons held high

We bid our brother Cheerio!"

EVERYBODY!!!! La la la la...