They don't serve breakfast in Hell

Back in the day, I used to listen to this song often. I came across it once again recently and I realized there's a problem. As you'll read, It's song about hell, and it's kinda screwy.

It's by a Christian band. Now the band itself, they're actually pretty good. (I'm not a huge fan of modern Christian bands. I'm a Christian girl, it's just not usually my taste for music)

That being said, this song...It's just messed up! The words, they ring so happily in your ear and you find yourself knowing the song word-for-word. I found myself singling these lyrics over and over and over again...as though it's exciting and FUN. But the bottom line folks, they DO NOT SERVE BREAKFAST IN HELL!!!

"Hold the milk, put back the sugar
They are powerless to console
We've gathered here to sprinkle ashes
from our late friend's cereal bowl.
Breakfast Clubbers, say the motto
that he taught us to repeat:
"You will lose it in your gym class
if you wait `til noon to eat."

Back when the Chess Club said our eggs were soft
every Monday he'd say grace and hold our juice aloft
Oh, none of us knew his checkout time would come so soon But before his brain stopped waving, he composed this tune:

Chorus:

When the toast is burned,

And all the milk has turned

And cap'n crunch is wavin' farewell.

When the big one finds you

May this song remind you

That they don't serve breakfast, in hell

Breakfast clubbers, drop the hankies

Though to some our friend was odd,

that day he bought those pine pyjamas

His check was good with God

Those here without the lord,

How do you cope?

For this morning we don't mourn

Like those who have no hope

Oh rise up, Fruit Loop lovers

Sing out sweet and low

With spoons held high

We bid our brother Cheerio!"

EVERYBODY!!!! La la la la...