4 Strawberry margarita and a Long Island!

Last night I went out with friends. We were all sitting around the table. We had a few smokers sitting with us, so the discussion starts about smoking. Should it be allowed in bars. Now grant you, most everyone at this table had been drinking and so I'm sure you can imagine the conversation wasn't the most intellectual. Anyway, as I'm sitting there listening to the debate, joining in at times while drinking my Strawberry margarita (which, by the way is amazingly delicious...I had 3 or 4 I can't remember...)

ANYWAY! We're all sitting there having a good time, laughing, debating, talking. This middle aged woman sitting at the table next to us with all her mid-life crises friends, drinking beer and being loud. She drops her coat...She taps me on the shoulder and says "Did you see that I just dropped my pink coat?" I say to the woman "awww it's a very nice pink coat" I GUESS that was the wrong thing to say??? Maybe I missed the memo that, that phrase was some kind of code word for "Yes I'm a lesbo" Maybe I didn't get this memo because...I'M NOT GAY!

Suddenly I'm caught in the middle of this woman flirting with me. She kept tapping me on the shoulder..."How old do I look?" I say "Oh, about 32?" I of course knew she was much older, but I didn't wanna get decked by this woman! She looks at me as though she wanted to kiss me!!! I'm about to panic when she says "Ohhh, you're just saying that! You're being gratuitous... I'm racking my brain trying to think...what the hell does THAT MEAN???

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Gratuitous
1 a : given unearned or without recompense

b : not involving a return benefit, compensation, or consideration

c: costing nothing
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She finally admits to being 45 years old. I was slightly shocked at her age...she didn't look 45, I admit. I hope I look that good when I'm 45... More than anything I think this woman was drunk off her ass! I don't think she was really Gay. (not that there's anything wrong with that kinda thing) She was just looking for attention, even if it was from a female.

Personally I've never been so drunk that I'd resort to hitting on a fellow female. Nor would I toy with the idea of such a thing! And I had 4 Strawberry margarita and a Long Island!