The Birds & Bees 101

At one point in my life, I was living with 3 other chicks, one of them was engaged. She was a virgin, as was he. They wanted to wait until after marriage before doing the cha-cha. I don't have a problem with that at all. If two people want to wait to experience something so wonderful until after getting married, that’s cool.

Anyway, one day my roommate, we'll call her "Susie Q", she comes up to me all excited wanting to show me a new book she got at the bookstore for the both of them. It was about "what happens on your wedding night" to make this story even better, it was a pop-up book!

"Susie Q" starts talking to me about said book. She says she didn't understand some of the things in the book it's telling her to do. OH LORD, were my thoughts...I say "Ok, I can try and answer some of the questions for you, if you'd like?" She answers in her shy voice "yes please". She says, "in the book it's saying that I might be really tight and that I may need to stimulate certain areas to try and loosen up some.." She goes on "What does that mean???"

I'm a bit shocked at this point. I'm thinking " What the hell have you two been doing in the bed room with the door shut all those nights, if you haven't been "stimulating" certain areas???" My second thought "Do you masturbate??? Have you ever???, comon don't lie!" I look over at her, give her a sweet smile and say "Susie Q, honey, have you thought about having him help you?" She says "WHAT?? what do you mean??" (Folks, this is a 25 year old women...she had no idea what I was saying)

It took everything in me not to start laughing! Not because I wanted to make fun of her, but because she honestly just didn't understand. I took a deep breath and said "ummm you know, use his fingers or even his mouth, maybe" "Susie Q" says to me "oh wow... WOW, I never thought about that" I was so close to saying "when you guys are making out WHAT on earth are you doing???"

You mean to tell me, the whole time these two people have been seriously dating and making out, that they haven't even TOUCHED certain areas??? Is she wearing a chastity belt or what?? And what does this say about said guy she's going to marry? If he hasn't already been down there, he probably doesn't know what to do either!!

I don't have a problem if people want to wait to have sex until marriage, that's just fine! I'll support it. But, to not know a single thing about each others
sexuality, that’s messed up!

I imagine their sex life after marriage isn’t very enjoyable. But then again, THANK GOD I don't think about it. They probably make sex appointments once a month "is December 31st good for you?" or they only have sex on Saturday nights with the lights out and the blinds closed! They probably sleep in separate beds and push them together once a week!

In all seriousness people, sex is supposed to be enjoyable. You're supposed to learn about the other person and what they need and want. It shouldn't be something not talked about and taboo in a relationship, it should be talked about and often.

But, then once again, "Susie Q" has a man, I don't...who's the loser?