So I was thinking, with all the Harry Potter book hype, I thought I'd take it upon myself and go to the bookstore... Interestingly enough, bookstores have always had a very interesting effect on me. Some would call it, freaky, But, I like to think of it as yet another intriguing part of my amazing personality.

Every time I set foot in a library, bookstore, book sale, anyplace with numerous amounts of books I suddenly get extremely turned on. For an example, my eyes MIGHT slightly roll to the back of my head when I take in that wonderful aroma of that new book paper, smell. I totally think it's some type of aphrodisiac... I'm being serious people, stop laughing!

I KNOW! You don't have to even say it, it's so weird! I'm so WEIRD! I'm almost embarrassed to admit this fact about myself. I mean really, what doesn't turn me on?

You know, that's a really good questions. What turns me off? Ummm.... well, I...ummm... I don't really find people who eat watermelon with salt that much of a turn on... and umm I can't stand when someone burps really loud without at least an "excuse me"

Oh yeah! I hate when guys wear their jeans like super low and they have to spread their legs when walking. GOD I hate that! It makes me just want to run up and trip them! And then give them the biggest wedgie ever invented!

OK, anyway back on topic! Books, I love books! Books, books, books! Now, although I don't read as much as I should, the last time I was at the bookstore, I found the most amazing book ever! "Sex Q & A (Explicit answers to hundreds of your most burning questions)" by Anne Hooper

It's funny, whenever I'm in the bookstore browsing the "health" section, I always try and look really serious. Like I'm doing some very impotent research to save mankind. And I'm not in truth, getting slightly frustrated by the super helpful pictures in the books.

Sometimes, if I see other people looking at another section close to the one I'm in, I'll make comments to myself like, "Huh, that's interesting" or "I did not know that, wow!" or my favorite "Eureka!"

Honestly my blogging friends, I've learned quite a bit...

For example, did you know that the clitoris (or sweetness as I like to call it) resembles the penis (or monster as I like to call it) in structure. It has glans and a shaft. Although it's only visible as a tiny, swollen, pink, tip, the clitoris actually goes back several inches in to the body.

WOW!

Also, Spanish Fly is made from dried, crushed bodies of a type of beetle. It works by irritating and inflaming the genitals. It can also be very poisonous and taking it can be fatal and you will DIE!

HOLY CRAP!

So, in closing, Spanish Fly is fatal, I hate salt on watermelon, I'll give you the biggest wedgie ever invented if you wear your pants down past your ass, I strongly suggest that you go out and get the book "Sex Q & A" and apparently the clitoris (or sweetness) is just like a penis (or monster)...

It's just like, it's just like a mini....mall, OH YEAH!

My dearly loved blogging friends, a few months ago I discovered something on Youtube...

Something that has changed my life forever. I honestly think I'll never be the same woman again, after seeing and hearing what I have.

I can't seem to get what I saw and heard out of my mind. It's so freakin' catchy that I find myself singing it happily aloud when I should be doing other things, more important things like, reading a good book, cleaning my house, having sex, working or even masturbating...

*cough*

The happy little tune goes round and round in my head over and over again, until I give in allowing it to take over and I start singing it loud and proud.

Just the other day, I was out shopping for groceries and I just blurted out "It's just like, it's just like a mini mall, HEY, HEY!"
You should have seen the look on the poor little childs face in the cart next to me.

I think somethings wrong with me...I feel like it's starting to take over my very soul. Like it's some type of chant to rise up the evil dead to complete the ultimate plane for world domination!!!!!!!! Soon everyone, everywhere will be singing in unisin!!!!!

ANYWAY, oddly enough, it's not just affecting me...it's affecting the entire Youtube world. Having over 1 MILLION hits and growing... apparently this "music video" has become quite popular...

With all the being said, today I thought I'd share this video with you, my dear blogging friends. It's because I feel like it needs to be spread and shown to everyone I know...

It's what the master wants!!!!!

...er *cough* I mean....I hope you enjoy, Cheers!




I can't stop....Muuuusssst singgggggg along!!!

Living rooms, Bedrooms, Dinettes, OH YEAH!
You can find em at the market
We talkin' about Flea Market
Montgomery

It's just like, just like a mini....mall, OH YEAH!

Come shop with us, I said Flea Market, Montgomery

It's just like, just like a mini....mall, HEY, HEY!

You heard me, come shop
Living rooms, Bedrooms, Dinettes
We got it, you need it, you'll find it

It's just like, just like a mini mall, HEY, HEY!

EVERYONE!!!!!

SABOTAGE!

Hello friends! Some of you may have noticed that my blog has been looking kind of strange in the last few days. Pictures missing, no activity, that sort of thing... No?...oh....well...ok...ummm... *cough* I see how it is...

ANYWAY, those of you who do have a heart and have been paying attention... this all was because I was locked out of Blogger and my Gmail account was shut down, suddenly!

I know, I know...it's hard to believe anyone would want to do such a thing to me, little old me! I mean seriously, I'm one of the sweetest people ever in the universe. Not to mention, I have great cleavage and an amazing personality, ask anyone...

Honestly, I truly believe someone hacked in to my account and took control, I know, I'm still in shock over the whole thing.

I thought I would send a little message to that "person (s)" who thought it was actually a good idea to try and attempt to hack in to my domain!

LISTEN YOU LITTLE FUCKING, FUCK @_(#*@)$&#)*$#&$ !!!TRY LOCKING ME OUT OF MY ACCT AGAIN!

I DARE YOU! WHEN I FIND YOU, I’M GONNA KICK THE LIVING CYBER CRAP OUT OF YOU!!!!

THEN JUST WHEN YOU THINK I'M FINISHED, I'M GONNA MAKE FUN OF YOUR STUPID FACE!

LET ME GUESS, YOU LOVE EATING COTTAGE CHEESE WITH PEACHES, WHILE WATCHING A HALLMARK HALL OF FAME MOVIE ON THE LIFETIME CHANNEL!

I’LL TELL YOU WHAT, MEET ME AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE AT MIDNIGHT TONIGHT! WE’LL SEE WHO’S REALLY GOT THE KAHUNA'S. THAT'S RIGHT, I'M TALKING TO YOU, YOU PIECE OF POPCORN KERNEL, STUCK IN MY BACK TOOTH!

LISTEN, HARLOT OF BABYLON WHO THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A BRILLIANT IDEA TO TRY AND SABOTAGE MY EMAIL AND BLOG, YOU SUCK AND I ROCK!

FROM THE WISE WORDS OF RON BURGUNDY, "WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR HOME ON WHORE ISLAND!!!!"

HARLOT =0

REVREE=1

(p.s. obviously I got my accounts back, HA!)

I think I actually killed my knee...

So yesterday I played softball. Yes, I'm in a softball league....I know it may surprise you that I do have some athletic abilities. You do have to remember I am half black (or colored as some people like to say), so a part of me does at least have a little speed and power.

Anyway, today I feel like a freakin' old woman! Seriously, I think I actually killed my knee, is that possible? Is is possible to actually kill a part of your body even though the rest of you lives on?

Here's an action shot for you....I was really hustling out there... OK, OK! that isn't me in that picture! But, I'm sure if someone did take a picture of me in action, it would look very similar to this shot!

I've been limping around all day, acting like I'm a cripple who just had her right leg chopped off at the knee. It's swollen and being in this condition, it makes it very hard to be on my knees....NOT that I spend a lot of time of me knees...

...SHUDUP! There is no need for you to be thinking of such things, when I'm in the condition that I am in right now! You should be ashamed. Besides, I could always use a pillow or something....IF needed...

ANYWAY, You know, I was reading Mighty Dyckerson's blog the other day and he was crying like a damn baby about how he skinned up his knee. OUCHY! Awww pooor baby, want momma to kiss it and make it all better? BOO HOO!

You weren't playing a rough, dirty, sweaty, game of softball, in hell! Were you DYCK? (yes, I forgot to mention, I live in Hell these days)

So, folks, in closing, Dyckerson's a baby, I feel like shit, I'm a cripple gimp and I need one of those guys who carry the geisha girls around on their back, for at least a week...maybe more...

On that note...

My dear friends I've made some executive decisions and taken some artistic freedoms with my blog and I hope that you approve? If you don't....well, screw you, it's my blog!

There's been a lot going on in my life, some good, some kinda sucky. I won't be going in to all that with this post. No, Instead I'm going to talk about the pleasures of an orgasm.

Pleasures of an orgasm, you ask?....Let me elaborate...

Have any of you really stopped to think about the complete magicalness (is that even a word, magicalness?) of the human orgasm? I mean, seriously, what can we compare this intense action too? NOTHING! It's like noting on earth. Not even chocolate people! Chocolate, can't even take the place of sheer, ecstasy that erupts deep inside of us when this moment takes place in our tiny little lives.

The other day I was watching "The Vagina Monologues" on HBO...at first I thought it was going to be some type of "Chick Power", "We hate men", "Power to the sweetness" kinda thing. But, to my surprise it wasn't. It's actually a pretty cool little monologue. If you can get past the way the woman preforming it looks...

ANYWAY, I admit, I was a little uncomfortable when I first started watching this...It's a bit raw and I'm not sure how I feel about people talking about the most private parts of a woman... Yeah, some parts are a bit much and got a little lesbo on me.

But, what really intrigued me was when they interviewed all different women about what their orgasms were like...

Amazing, people, amazing!

This was the part that really got me thinking. It's an amazing thing, the orgasm. Honestly, folks, I believe it's a miracle, straight from God. No, I'm being serious.

I mean think about it, every part or our body tensing up, focusing on this one task, release...the sweet, sweet blissful release of every single thing deep inside of us, letting go all at the same time.

I'm mesmerized and hypnotized, the blinders of my entire being focusing on right here, right now! I believe the orgasm is almost like being at the edge of insanity. Where we completely lose our minds, only caring about reaching that itch deep inside of us and letting that throbbing, aching desire out.

It's like a struggle for power within ourselves. We try to hold on as long as possible, not wanting to stop, only to finally give in allowing the pleasure to take total and complete control over us.

Trusting the orgasmic delight to rush through our body overwhelming the core of our soul.

Then flashes of light, the entire body rushing with pleasure all at the same time, a peaceful silence over powering me, sending me into the deep, deep tunnel of beautiful blackness, with those flashes of bright colors all around me...

YESSSSSSssssss, OHHHHhhhh Yessssss! OH MY SWEET LORD, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Anyway, that's what's been on my mind...I wonder if I'm reading to much erotica these days?...

...It's good to be back!