Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Wookin' pa lub in all the wrong places

So a friend of mine I'll call him "Phee-lo" has this chick friend who has a really nasty habit. I'll talk about that habit in just a moment.

First I'd like to explain a little bit about this young friend of his...I'll call her "Little miss can't be wrong" This friend is only 22...that really should explain it all, but Its more fun to go in to some detail as to who she is.

Being only 22 years old, she requires a lot of attention. I thought I sent a lot of text message....but this chick could kick my ass if there were ever a text messaging war.

Once you befriend her, she sticks on you like white on rice. She doesn't use q-tips after taking a shower which in my book is just plain wrong.

(Don't ask me how I know this...I just do.... Listen, I gotta find stuff to write on my blog somehow!) Honestly, who doesn't use Q-tips?

She smells like Secret deodorant mixed with body odor and she has nose hairs....yeah....gross!

Alright, on to her nasty habit. For some reason, sometime in her life someone told her that it was OK to meet strange, ugly, older men online and then have sex with them.

I had the opportunity to actually see a picture of one of these strange men. I was shocked, I was appalled, I was sickened and a little scared. I had all these emotions overpower me all at the same time once I took one glance at this photo.

I honestly think he used his prison mug shot as the photo he posted on whatever online dating/hook-up site they met on.

Now, please brace yourself before going any further with this blog post. The picture you are about to see, might cause permanent emotional damage to you and anyone around you who might see this.



EXHIBIT A
WHAT THE FUCK???

This dude looks like a serial rapist with super bad hygiene!!! He looks like he just got out of prison and did a line of blow...
What the hell is she thinking? She's 22, kinda cute (minus the body odor and nose hair)...I would say smart, but after this, I'm finding it really hard to believe that.
Seriously kids these days! I just want to slap her around a little bit and try to knock some sense in to her. I know, I know...violence isn't the answer...it just seems right sometimes...

Now, I'm sure some of you are wanting to ask "But RevRee, what if he was hot?" Well, if he was hot, I'd be clapping my hands in a standing ovation and congratulate her on such a nice piece of hot man! But, obviously that isn't the case.
What? Stop looking at me like that...you're thinking the same thing!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

New Year, New RevRee

HAPPY 2008!

Yeah, yeah! I know, it's like 2 weeks late! Things in the life and time of RevRee have been kind of unexpected to say the least. In order to save time and try not to bore any of you I'm just going to make a list of the event that's taken place in my life up to this point.

#1 Two days after Christmas I became single once again... hence the small vacation from blogging. But, I'm back, I'm gonna be strong, I will survive and I look forward to what the future holds. And as always try to find the humor surrounding this entire situation... when I find it I'll let you know....HA!

So, I guess this is the official announcement that RevRee is once again single and in HEAT! Watch out!

#2 I Purchased a Tom Jones ticket for one of his concerts in March! I KNOW! This is the most exciting thing ever! I mean, Tom Jones, in my home town, in March! I'm sure many of you know of my slight obsession with Tom Jones and for years I've wanted to see him in concert. This, is the year!

I also admitted that I'd pay top dollar if need be. Do you think $90 for a 5th row center ticket is to much? I mean, it IS Tom Jones, people!

#3 I Cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Seriously, this might not sound like a major event in life. But when you're kinda down and everything around you seems like it's falling apart.

Cleaning, de-junking and sterilizing your entire home really works wonders! Along with some Bob Marley music in the background....and maybe little Mary Jane might even make an appearance...*cough*

#4 I've been working out 6 days a week since October and I'm proud to say that I've lost 15 mother fuckin' pounds! I also attempted to make my skin even darker by trying the super vain activity many white people do, known as "fake baking"...Oh, and my cleavage looks better than ever!

(I don't know what my cleavage has to do with working out, but I wanted to mention it at some point during this post)

#5 If you look to the left of my blog, you'll find a new added feature. I like to call it "the music that makes RevRee smile" It's really just a music play list maker I stole from Dr. Kenneth Noisewater...

ANYWAY, there you will find many different types of musical styles, including of course Tom Jones, Portishead, The Pixies and Soul Coughing! I hope you will take a moment out of your busy lives and listen! It's sure to make you smile...I promise!

And in closing, I'm posting my new favorite music video! It's genius and it totally speaks as to how I feel! WHATEVA!!!!!!


P.S. Thank you to everyone for the kind words and for checking up on me!