Thursday, June 15, 2006

SHUDUP!!

Maybe it's because I've been in a bad mood recently but, everything and everyone is irritating the hell out of me. I don't know about the rest of you, but I hate people who don't know when to shut the hell up! We all know someone like this...either a co-worker, a friend, maybe even a family member and they talk to damn much.

The problem is, I'm to damn nice and to sweet to ever say anything, so I'm just gonna vent about it here.

This person just won't shut the fuck up! They keep talking and talking and talking and talking and talking. I find myself avoiding this person at all costs. If I see them walking towards me, I'll act like I forgot something, turn around real quick to hide, or that I got a sudden phone call, or that I have to use the bathroom real bad. I know, It's a very cowardly thing to do. But listen, sometimes you have to forget about that type of thing and lower yourself to that level. Stop looking at me like that! You've done it too, don't lie!

This person will sometimes seek you out. If this happened, you're SOL my friends (Shit out of Luck) You just have to pray to God either your phone will ring, someone will rescue you or some type of catastrophic disaster will take place and they will be swallowed up by the earth below.

They also love to tell jokes. GOD, I hate when people tell me jokes. They walk up to you "Hey RevRee, I have a joke for you..." I'm thinking "SHIT!!! here we go again! I don't care about the horse with one leg. I don't feel like pretending to laugh again. Quick, someone help me make the bad man stop!!!"

Before you have a chance to even begin to give them some type of excuse, as to why I can't stay and listen to their stupid joke, it's to late. They've already started.

About 99.9% of the time the joke is NOT funny, it's not even a little funny...It SUCKS! YOU HEAR ME? IT SUCKS ASSSSSS!!!!!! It takes everything in my earthly power to even try and slightly chuckle. I usually feel entirely dumbed-down and a bit offended that someone actually thought the joke was funny. You know what puzzles me the most? Thay honestly thought I would find it funny too!!!

Seriously, do these people go online, spending countless hours looking up jokes? Just so they can share them with co-workers, family members and yes even the bum on the street?? Why can't they take up underwater basket weaving or macaroni art??? Instead they harrass people with these countless attempts at humor!?!

Damn, I wish I had the kahunas to say something. If I did, I'd walk right up to them, look up right in to their cold eyes and say... "Listen buddy, the jokes have got to stop. They aren't funny, YOU defiantly are NOT funny. You talk to much and your breath stinks. Please, please, please I beg you...for the love of all that's good on this earth, STOP!"

And, if that didn't work, I'd beat them with a baseball bat into submission...

Thanks, I feel better!

6 Comments:

Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Hey Rev, I've got a joke for ya!

A half-&-half walks into a bar with a zebra under his arm. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that animal in here!" The half-&-half replies "That's no zebra! That's my sister!!"

Fri Jun 16, 07:19:00 AM  
Blogger tfg said...

I've actually invented a device to solve to this very problem. Here is the link:

http://assclownopolis.blogspot.com/2006/03/escape-from-new-dork.html

Fri Jun 16, 08:57:00 AM  
Blogger thebillofbrothers said...

I have a talker at work who will stare at me after he rambles, waiting for me to respond in some way that allows him to keep going.

I end up saying things like, "Ok, well..." or "Yeah, take care." or pretend someone behind him is waving me over.

If I have the time, I say things to keep him going and going and going and going... and then he finally says "Well I better be going.", that's when I start talking to him about NOTHING and go on forever... I love it.

Fri Jun 16, 11:05:00 AM  
Blogger blog Portland said...

Just pretend you have Tourette's syndrome. When they gets near, fire off a string of expletives that make their eyes water. They'll get the idea soon enough.

Fri Jun 16, 07:20:00 PM  
Blogger jack said...

Your phony laugh is encouraging this person. Your politeness is admirable but draw the line at pretending amusement. If something is not funny, don't laugh.

Honesty is the pest policy!

Sat Jun 17, 10:48:00 AM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Bwhahahaha tfg! That is classic! I love the whole buddy idea! I'm gonna work in this first thing Monday morning!

Sat Jun 17, 04:30:00 PM  

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