Wednesday, March 08, 2006

You're gonna have to beg for it...

The other day I made a stop at the local Walgreen's pharmacy. Now, I have to admit I love this store. I mean who wouldn't like a store that's open 24 hours, you can buy shampoo, chips, pop, shoe laces or cough syrup all at one place!

Anyway, I stop at Walgreen's before making my way to work. As I walk in, I see they're having a sale on some starter hoodies, $10 each. I'm thinking to myself "Sweet, I love hoodies!" (don't you dare say a word about buying a hoodie at Walgreen's! I know some of you have bought some type of apparel there before too! Don't deny it) So, I begin to rummage through the piles and piles of hoodies trying to find just the right one. All of a sudden, some dude, who I guess was a store clerk, is standing right behind me.

I feel the presents of someone behind me, so I turn around. Just as I do so, I take a step back, as I'm a little startled. I ask him, "are these really only $10?..." he kinda gets this creepy smirk on his face saying, "They are, if you beg me for them..." I had a smile on my face, but right when he said that, the smile on my face was instantly gone. I just looked at him, I was slightly offended as well as totally not amused. I simply say, "Ummm, never mind..."
I turn back around, walking to the other side of the shelf and continue to browse. He stands there, staring at me with that creepy slight smirk on his face.

(Just a side note, the picture above is of hottie Vince Vaughn in psycho. NOT the perverted man whom asked me to beg. I was trying to go for a creepy picture...I hope you get the idea?)

I try not to make eye contact with this guy. I seriously think he was slightly crazy. Finally he makes this girlish giggle and walks off.

By this time, I feel dirty and I'm seriously creeped. I find the hoodies I wanted and make my way to grab a few other things I didn't need, but wanted. The whole time, I'm trying to figure out how I'm gonna get past this guy, seeing as he was the only one running a register. I linger around for awhile, thinking about making a mad dash for the door, throwing my money on the counter and screaming "KEEP THE CHANGE YA FUCKIN' FREAK!!!

Because I'm a wuss and too nice, I didn't do this. I, instead, slowly walk up to the register, lay my things on the counter and proceed to rummage through my purse trying to look as busy as possible. He grabs for my hoodies, while staring at me with that damn smirk. I could feel his eyes on me. Finally he says, "you're gonna have to beg for these before I can ring them up, darlin'..." I slowly take my hands out of my purse, look up right into his beady, hallow eyes and I say " listen, little man. I wouldn't beg for a damn thing from you let alone a fucking hoodie. Either ring my items up or I take your balls, cut them off, stuff them down your throat and ask you to beg me to stop, darlin'"

For what seemed like a few minutes, there was complete silence. All of a sudden, he begins to ring my items up. I hear him say quietly and slightly shaking "that will be $34.35 miss." I pay and say as I'm walking out the door, "Have a nice day"

Alright, alright, That isn't exactly how the story went. I didn't really tell the poor little man I'd cut off his balls and stuff them down his throat. But, I would have, had it been a rated R movie!

13 Comments:

Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

What, in the name of all that is holy, is a "starter hoodie"?!!

Wed Mar 08, 10:35:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Starter is a brand name and a hoodie...well, I'll show you later!

Wed Mar 08, 11:48:00 PM  
Blogger Denial said...

lmao @ "KEEP THE CHANGE YA FUCKIN' FREAK!!!"
And I prefer walmart for clothes that fall apart after 2 washes.

Great story.

Thu Mar 09, 11:05:00 AM  
Blogger thebillofbrothers said...

Awww DAMN, you had me the second time - you should've let him have it Rev, sounds like he needs it.

... although girls in hoodies make me giggle and smirk too.

Thu Mar 09, 12:10:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Freakren~ I too will sometimes buy apparel at Walmart. Tell anyone and I'll deny the whole thing!


Bill~ You might giggle and smirk, but I'm sure you're not creepy! I'm guessing you're more like the Hottie Vince Vaughn pic...well thats how what I like to believe anyway!

Thu Mar 09, 12:16:00 PM  
Blogger Debbie said...

What the fuck is up with Walgreen's?

Thu Mar 09, 02:30:00 PM  
Blogger Chief Scientist said...

Hank's Relationship Rule #26. "Chicks aren’t afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask." So at least he was asking.

Of course, it helps not to just ask strangers. That takes prospecting a little far.

Clearly he has never seen my blog or he would have avoided this mistake. Maybe I should write a book.

Thu Mar 09, 02:56:00 PM  
Blogger thebillofbrothers said...

Someone just said the other day that I look like a younger vince vaughn... ok, no they didn't.

Thu Mar 09, 04:04:00 PM  
Blogger RainStorm1212 said...

See! Serves you right for shopping at Walgreens. You should have gone to the Gap!LOL
Hey, Rev, maybe you should have told him you were an off duty cop and you were going to lock him up for harassment! He might have given them to you for free! LOL

Fri Mar 10, 05:42:00 AM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Rain, I'll remember that next time I have some guy tell me to beg...

Bill, stop teasing me!

Hank, I might have considered begging had it been you ;-)

Sat Mar 11, 12:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Biggy said...

I have actually offered to remove somebody's testicles as a reply to bad customer service. As I appear perfectly capable of doing so, it invariably gets the moron in question's undivided attention, and more often than not a healthy discount at the register.

Mon Mar 13, 12:14:00 AM  
Blogger TheIdleReceptionist said...

OMG you totally rock.

Mon Mar 13, 08:04:00 AM  
Blogger Frankie B said...

Rev,
Grab the guy by the nuggets & squeeze and when he starts squealing and wrything in pain tell him you won't let go until he begs

Tue Mar 14, 10:48:00 PM  

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