Friday, February 17, 2006

Everything's possible with a Hoveround

I took a much dreaded trip to Wal-Mart the other evening after work. I was actually in the ladies sock section (Yeah, SO I might buy my socks at walmart...so what?) Anyway, I make my way to the ladies underwear section (I was ONLY looking...HA HA HA What? You actually think I'd BUY panties at Wal-Mart?)

I'm looking at this really cute pink bra, when all of a sudden in the corner of my eye I catch something zip past the isle. I quickly turn, but I don't see anything. I continue to browse through the cheap underwear only to see something in my peripheral vision, I again turn to look, just as I see someone in a hoveround zipping into the next isle over. I think nothing of this...after all I'm at Wal-Mart and this is something you see often.

I make my way slowly to the next isle of cheap lingerie as I find myself facing an old man in a hoveround looking at thongs. YES, I just said thong panties! I'm standing there, completely transfixed on this sight. I can't help but stare at this old man. He isn't paying attention to me at all, he's too enthralled with all the verities of thongs one could possibly buy! I look over to observe what he has in his hoveround cart....

To my horror, I see piles and piles of ladies undergarments, bras, panties, colorful socks, nighties...you name it, this guy had in his hoveround cart. I actually think I saw some type of hand lotion and KY jelly at the very bottom of the cart as well. I quickly turn to pretend to be looking at some granny panties (They were closest to me, I SWEAR, I DON'T wear granny panties!...) Anyway, I continue to observer this old man. He keeps completly to himself while driving that ole hoveround, I swear like it was a tank in a WWII war zone.

Finally after he picks up a few colorful thong panties he zips his way over to the purse section, bumping into a few corners as he proceeds to his next destination.

I slowly walk to the edge of the isle peaking around to watch the dirty old man rummage though the ladies hand bags. Only to see him pick out this little leppard print mini purse. I try to hold back my laughter, but I just couldn't BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!

He stops, looks up at me, gives me a slight frown and growl, throws the cute little purse in to his hoveround basket and speeds off! I try to get my camera phone out of my own purse, but the old man was just to damn quick for me!

Ladies and gentlemen, I am forever damaged after seeing this sight. I don't think I'll ever be able to purchase any type of undergarment apparel at Wal-Mart again. I mean, not that I did or would in the first place...

Have a wonderful weekend!

14 Comments:

Blogger The Newsbitch said...

Hehehe this post cracked me up! Also very amsuing is the look on that guy's face in the picture - how apt.

Over here in ASDA stores (the UK's Walmart), those hoveround things are EVERYWHERE. Seriously. But colourful thongs? Whoa.

You are hereby scareed for life ;)

Fri Feb 17, 06:11:00 PM  
Blogger Gadzilla said...

Walmart is like a zoo for people. Its always nice to go a visit, but thankfully I don't live with any of them. LOL

Fri Feb 17, 06:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Hovering over your shoulder said...

"You made me looo-ve you.."

"I didn't wanna do it, no, I didn't wanna do it, but you made me love you."

Just watch TV late at night for the Hoveround commercial to come on and you'll know what I'm sayin'.

I've always wondered why they don't insert these things with artificial intelligence. Think of the annual spectacle you could sell tickets for to watch as Hoveround users are plunged off the cliffs of the Grand Canyon!

Sat Feb 18, 03:47:00 AM  
Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Would this happen to be the same old man who you caught sniffing your panties at the laundromat a while back??

Anyway, he was probably buying them for his granddaughter... ;-)

Sat Feb 18, 12:13:00 PM  
Blogger Cairde said...

I believe I heard passing reference to a Cross-Dresser on Wheels convention coming to a town NEAR YOU!!. LOL Be afraid, be very afraid.

Sun Feb 19, 08:53:00 AM  
Blogger wallycrawler said...

Aren't all zoos for people ? They sure aren't for the animals ?

Repeat after me "I will never go to that store again" ! Good don't !

FUCK WALMART !!!

Sun Feb 19, 09:20:00 AM  
Blogger eV said...

First, never shop where you have people eating nachos while leaning on the shopping carts like walkers! There is a definate correlation between nacho eating and overweight peeps using carts for support.
Secondly, pops was probably stocking up on goodies to have his 'paid attendant' wear while cleaning his mobile home. This is how she earns her Chritmas bonus and he earns his daily nut!

Sun Feb 19, 01:38:00 PM  
Blogger Ali said...

ROFL.
That's absolutely hilarious.
keep up the insanely humerous blogging
<3 =]
Maybe you could come check out my blog sometime?

Mon Feb 20, 09:06:00 AM  
Blogger TheIdleReceptionist said...

HAHAHHAHAH!!!!

What a perv!

I can just see him telling his geriatric friends,

"And there I was, buying frilly thongs and purses like I do EVERY Thursday MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS and this girl is following me and staring at GRANNY PANTIES!"

Mon Feb 20, 09:36:00 AM  
Blogger RevRee said...

I was just thinking, if I remember right. The old man was wearing a cowboy hat! I don't know what that means, but it makes this story even more creepy!

Mon Feb 20, 03:44:00 PM  
Blogger blog Portland said...

How many pairs of panties do you think he was wearing at the time?

Mon Feb 20, 11:47:00 PM  
Blogger thebillofbrothers said...

You may have met the worlds oldest pimp, Dirty Steve.

Tue Feb 21, 08:38:00 AM  
Blogger Jodi said...

Hahahahaha! You made me laugh at this one Rev.

I love Wally World for all of the beautiful people that shop there. I'll admit I'm a people watcher and that place has a wealth of amusement to last me for days.

Now I'm rethinking the purchase of panties I bought there. They were cute and said 'Babe' on the front of them and they were only $2.99. I refuse to buy undergarments from VS anymore. I spend too much and they always fall apart. Wally World here I come. I'm a sexy bitch like that.

Wed Feb 22, 05:55:00 AM  
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