Wednesday, January 18, 2006

BEWARE OF THE BULGE!!!!

Do you have one of those male friends and/or co-worker who insists on wearing nothing but tight clothing. Especially, extremely tight jeans.

I know someone like that. For example I'll call him "Lester". "Lester's" jeans are so freaking tight, you can't help but stare. I mean seriously.

I don't want to look at his crotch, but it's like this bulge right in between his legs.

It's disgusting and it makes me blush like an innocent little school girl. (I want to state, that this man is by no means attractive in my humble, none arrogant, nor self centered opinion.)

Just today, I'm walking down the hall, he's walking by. As he's passing me he smiles and says his usual "Hey there RevRee!!" I smile, but as I'm attempting to say "Hi Lester!" BAMMMMM right there crotch, bulge, HELP!!!! The pants are so tight, I can almost see his "Monster" pulsating...

I understand It's uncomfortable to read this. Shhhhhh Yes, I know, but I had to get this off my chest!

I honestly don't understand the thought process that goes into deciding to wear such form fitting attire. You know what's also just as disturbing? I see his "panty" line. Yes, I said "panty" line! Yep, he's a tighty whitey guy.

Oh Lord, when it's summer time, LOOK OUT! He's sporting the Magnum PI shorts! I'm not kiddin' they're daisy dukes. I'm actually afraid for this man, he might suddenly "fall out"!

At least he isn't the same guy who tells me perverted stories about strippers and his ears smelling like girl parts. I guess I have that to be thankful for...

13 Comments:

Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

He's probably only 2 inches. I bet he stuffs a salami down his pants.

Wed Jan 18, 07:35:00 PM  
Blogger Shavonne said...

I bet it's real. Sometimes men pack really big guns. I've seen it with my own eyes.

Wed Jan 18, 11:00:00 PM  
Blogger Chief Scientist said...

Regrettably, I am only 185 lbs. and I still have to wear extra large shirts because of my muscle mass and loose pants because of my enormous penis.

Don't you judge me.

Wed Jan 18, 11:40:00 PM  
Blogger Chief Scientist said...

Shavonne has been talking out of school about me again. Why can't women be discreet?

Thu Jan 19, 10:12:00 AM  
Blogger Ryan said...

If i had any kind of respectably sized wang you could be god damn sure I would bewearing some tight ass pants. I would shrink wrap my trousers on in the morning.

I'd also attach blinking lights on my belt in the shape of arrows pointing down at my Man Toe.

Thu Jan 19, 11:39:00 AM  
Blogger thebillofbrothers said...

Shave. It makes you look bigger.

Thu Jan 19, 12:06:00 PM  
Blogger Becky said...

LOL great post, I'm cracking up over here. horrible!

Thu Jan 19, 01:59:00 PM  
Blogger blog Portland said...

Are there any attractive guys at your workplace? I know you must be saving a steamy copy room sex story for a rainy day.

Thu Jan 19, 02:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Sixteen said...

Remind me to never come where you work! First a guy who smells like girl parts, now a shrink wrapped male--what next? Some guy who drinks his own weight in Diet Coke?

Thu Jan 19, 03:38:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Portland, there's a few stories I'm saving for as you said a rainy day. Please stay tuned! ;-)

Thu Jan 19, 04:49:00 PM  
Blogger Cairde said...

All I can think about is the character Fez, on That 70s Show...whenever he is on screen all I can do is look at his crotch...ewwwww! It's like a car wreck...just can't...look...away.

Thu Jan 19, 06:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

why is it women wear skin tight everything? Even when they don't. I think women should be wearing baggy jeans and XXXXXXL sweat shirts lilke guys do. Then there wouldn't be any complaining about how big how small a guys wang is. Or how big or small a womens breast are.

Fri Mar 21, 07:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too funny too funny, I can never consciously look away

Sun Feb 05, 04:22:00 PM  

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