Saturday, February 25, 2006

It Hurts to be Beautiful

This is an actually picture of my eye. I just took it with my trusty camera phone. The reason for this picture is, I'm only wearing one contact today.

There's a perfectly good explanation as to why this has happened. See, this morning as I was getting ready for my day finally it came time for me to put in my contacts. Now, don't get me wrong, I have some awesome glasses and I do wear them now and then. But, it's Saturday, I just got a new pair of jeans and I'm going out tonight. I want to look as hot as possible...so therefore the contacts come out to play! First I put in the right eye contact, no problems! Now, here's were I run into some trouble. I dip my finger into the little contact holder full of contact solution, only to find that the damn contact is ripped!!!

Because my mother always told me, "RevRee, it hurts to be beautiful!" I thought, hey I can take the pain! After all mom says "It hurts to be beautiful!" Suck it up and take it like a woman! So, I slowly and very gently attempt to insert this ripped contact into my left eye. It burns, it burns!!!! My eye starts to water. I try to pry my eye open with my fingers, finally it's IN! I close my eye tightly, hoping that it's going to stop burning. Yeah Right! It burns like someone dipped my contact in hot sauce!

I stand there, my eye burning and watering. I'm standing there as though I think somethings actually going to change. Finally because I'm sometimes a little slow, I say to myself "Fuck it, this sucks!" I quickly rip the contact our of my left eye and throw it in the trash. I then realize that my vision isn't so bad with only one contact in. I can actually see across the room!

I finally decided to compromise. I'll just wear one contact! Yeah, that's a great idea! I can see, no problem! BULL SHIT I CAN SEE! I can't see a damn thing! It's a good thing I took my cute glasses along, otherwise I wouldn't be able to tell this little useless story!

11 Comments:

Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

How exactly does one rip a contact??

Sat Feb 25, 10:29:00 PM  
Blogger Gadzilla said...

good question.. and I demand a picture of the glasses, your reference to cute, may in fact be false. Don't forget the jeans too.. :)

Sat Feb 25, 10:55:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Gadzilla, I have to keep some mystery to my blog persona, it's more fun that way... ;-)

and when I say the contact was "ripped" there was a small tare which burns like hell!

Sun Feb 26, 11:21:00 AM  
Blogger Forty_Two said...

I'm happy to find that after the better part of half a century of too much television, not enough sleep, and enough industrial pollution wafting across my eyes to fog an IMAX screen, I still have 20/20 vision.

It's good to have at least one thing to feel good about.

Sun Feb 26, 01:55:00 PM  
Blogger thebillofbrothers said...

I don't know, I've seen some fizzine ladies with glasses on... my bet is you could pull it off.

Sun Feb 26, 03:33:00 PM  
Anonymous KC said...

No worries readers. The real Rev-Ree looks like this: http://tinyurl.com/m29bk

Sun Feb 26, 06:19:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

KC, you're in trouble!

Sun Feb 26, 11:53:00 PM  
Blogger Debbie said...

I've done the same thing and even drove wearing one contact. We all suffer for beauty.

Mon Feb 27, 07:32:00 AM  
Blogger TheIdleReceptionist said...

Heh! My friend Kelly does that all the time...

Mon Feb 27, 11:43:00 AM  
Blogger blog Portland said...

I would have done the one contact thing, then busted out an eyepatch. Arrrggghhh, bitches!!!

Mon Feb 27, 09:17:00 PM  
Blogger Denial said...

lol, I grew up with "Beauty is Pain", while the all the tangles were brushed out of my hair and tears flowed down my face.

Thu Mar 02, 04:01:00 PM  

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