Monday, April 30, 2007

Imagine all the People...

Once again folks, I've been doing some thinking. I also recently had this conversation (pillow talk) with my "pseudo" boyfriend.

The topic of this particular conversation was,

"When looking at a someone, do you visualize what sex might be like with that person?"

Whether you were attracted to that person or not, do you ever think about what it would be like?

After much discussion and thought, we both came to the same conclusion to this answer and that was YES.

Now, with that being said, I've taken it upon myself to make a list of 5 male bloggers and give you my imaginative view of what I feel it would be like to have a night of passion with each of these gentlemen

Please remember, this is only for posterity sake. Alright, let's get started shall we?...


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Assclownopolis (tfg)

For some reason, I have a feeling the sex with this guy would be pretty much on the kinky side. Seriously, have you read his blog? The guy has Betty Boop and Winnie the Pooh bed sheets. I imagine the sex would be an experience all in itself. Maybe a little educational, freaky....OK not just freaky, but a LOT freaky and really, pretty perverted actually...

SO... I picture sex with tfg would entail one of those pools filled with plastic balls in his bedroom, some greased up latex swimsuits for each of us to wear and a case of silly string... I'm pretty sure you can find these types of acts on the internets...

Cherry Ride

First of all, I have to say, he's gay and he's HOT! (Not, that there's anything wrong with that. Being gay I mean...)... ANYWAY, I personally believe I do have the power to turn Cherry straight, if even for just one night of passion.

The sex would be a session of "ride em cowboy"…This is where Cherry would wear a cowboy hat and nothing else and I'd be wearing a summer dress, slightly torn at the shoulder. All of this would take place in a barn, on the hay, during a very hot summers day. And we would act out a scene in one of those romance novels... or those erotic movies on Cinemax...

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

Ahhh yes the Dr. ladies and gentleman. Let's see, sex with the Dr... first of all, there would be Pink Floyd playing on an eight track in the background. The room would be lit with colored Christmas lights from ceiling to floor. The only other thing in this room would be a bed covered in all white.

Then comes the fun part. The Dr would walk in barefoot, wearing scrubs and struttin' his stuff to the smooth sounds of Pink Floyd. He would then proceed to strip for me. I of course would have a roll of $1's in my hand...

Mighty Dyckerson

While wearing his nicest clown suit, I'd grudge fuck the hell out of him, and leave cab fare on the dresser.

This too would be like one of those erotic movies on Cinemax...

...Ok maybe not this one...Moving on...


Puerileuwaite

Folks, Mr. Puerileuwaite is a bit of a mystery to me. I believe my entire sexual experience with him would be done while I'm blindfolded and I'd have no idea what was happening. It would be slightly frightening, a little edgy and kinda erotic all at the same time.

He would only speak to me in a whisper, using only lines from movies and sometimes he would say them in different languages, like Russian or Chinese or Klingon...
I don't think this one would be on Cinemax either...the internets for sure!...
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Well, there you have it dear friends. I should have warned some of you long ago, once you get in to my mind, there's no going back, baby.

It's a pretty wild and crazy place, my mind... I'm sure glad I could share these thought with you guys though, and not be judged for them...

13 Comments:

Blogger Scary Monster said...

How could you have forgotten the Monster.
Things could get hairy when in bed with Scary.
Imagine the outrageous scenes we could have made, Monster and Maiden.
Hmmmmmm. STOMP

Fri Apr 27, 08:38:00 AM  
Blogger The [Cherry] Ride said...

Could I also wear leather chaps in addition to the cowboy hat? That might just be hot enough to turn my straight... HA!

And I think you're pretty much right on about Dr. Ken with the Pink Floyd and the christmas lights. Add a black light to the proceedings and you've nailed his whole act.

Fri Apr 27, 09:36:00 AM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

Wow. You make me sound so hot, that I'm tempted to take many peoples' advice* (* usually in traffic) and have sex with myself!

Your pseu-pseu-pseudio boyfriend,
Pueriluwaite

Fri Apr 27, 01:48:00 PM  
Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Save your money. You'll need it for the abortion.

Fri Apr 27, 06:29:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Scary Monster: I simply can't get over the fact that you talk like you're 5 and in the third person. Work on that and we'll talk...

Cherry: Leather chaps? only if they're buttless and I get to try them on...

Puerileuwaite: In my mind, everything becomes hot!

(you've had sex with yourself in traffic too? ...NOT that I would do such a thing, you're sick!!!)

Dyckerson: Was it good for you?

Fri Apr 27, 06:55:00 PM  
Blogger Scary Monster said...

5 were a good year for me.
Played house with the neighborhood girlies and doctor at school.

Iffin me tries that now, me just gets slapped in the face.
STOMP.

Fri Apr 27, 10:28:00 PM  
Blogger tfg said...

Good call--I try to make my all of my intimate endeavors educational. Just the other day, I was explaining the proper use of an impact wrench.

Sun Apr 29, 06:58:00 PM  
Blogger NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

How did you know that obscure Pink Floyd albums are on my "Making Time With the Ladies" mixes? The doctor outfit is NOT part of my shtick, but I'm open to it . . .

By the way, I've seen Cherry in a panda suit and ass chaps, and it's DAMN hot.

Jeez, I'd love to do a blog like this about my female readers, but I think I'd scare them away with the stuff I envision. For instance, whenever I think about giving Rev the high, hard one . . . Oh, never mind.

Sun Apr 29, 11:50:00 PM  
Blogger Gadzilla said...

This blog is like black hole, I always manage to get sucked back in.. Too funny Rev!

Mon Apr 30, 04:29:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Scary Monster: *PUNCH*

tfg: DAMN! You are more freaky then I first thought...

P.S. what is th the proper use of an impact wrench?

Dr. Ken:
I'd pay top dollar to know what you'd say about a night of passion with me. I love when my ego is stroked! HA

Gadzilla: The hole is only half black... ;-)

Mon Apr 30, 04:56:00 PM  
Blogger Gadzilla said...

Thank you for reminding me of that wonderful fact, and such visual content you left for me to digest. Just tell me that it's shaved, and if it isn't, lie to me! :P

Tue May 01, 10:01:00 PM  
Blogger SpongyBones said...

I should stop by more often. Now that I know where all the actions at.

Thu May 03, 09:05:00 AM  
Blogger Crashtest Comic said...

From the first time I laid eyes on this blog, I imagined what you must look like, typing away feverishly in your heels.

Sat May 05, 11:50:00 AM  

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