Saturday, April 14, 2007

As some of you know, I went back home last week for a few days. It was a much needed trip and I honestly do feel rejuvenated after such a good time with family and friends.

My trip however didn't get started on such a good note...

It all started Thursday morning. I asked the night before that my "pseudo" boyfriend give me a wake up call in the morning before he went to work, to make sure that I was up and ready to go. He gave me my wake up call as promised (He's such a good man) I was already up and almost ready to head out the door. Everything was going right on schedule...

Previously the night before, I printed out simple directions to the airport. Well, so I thought they were simple. The fact is, they weren't simple at all. I felt like a lab rat in a maze and I got completely lost.

As I'm speeding down the highway, I reach over and pick up the paper with my flight itinerary and it said my outbound flight left at 8:55AM...not 9:55AM...FUCK!!! It's 8:50AM right now!!!!!

I knew I was totally screwed. (not screwed in that oh so good screwed way either...) What makes this even better was, I didn't have the phone number to the airline. Not one place on my flight itinerary was there a damn phone number.

Now folks, I'm a pretty calm person, I don't lose my cool very often, but I just couldn't help myself. I started shouting "FUCK!" over and over again as I tried to think of what I was going to do. First I had to find the damn airport and I was completely lost in this god-forsaken city!!! FINALLY I find a gas station, I pull over and get directions to the stupid airport.

I did soon find it after some simple directions from the "shim" at the gas station. I get inside and I did in fact miss my flight. SHIT!!!!!

Ha ha ha, yeah yeah! The jokes on me! Laugh it up guys...Whatever!

Anyway, the airline was gracious enough to get me on the next flight out with no charge, I thought that was pretty cool. The only thing was, it didn't leave for another 3 hours!

I checked my bag and headed to my gate for a long ass wait. THANK GOD! I had my new iPod with me., I honestly believe it saved what sanity I had left.

3 hours pass and soon it's my turn to board the flight. Everything went like clock work and I was finally on my way back home!

After a very short, really bumpy plane ride home, where I saw my life flash before my eyes. We finally land safely. As I make my way to the baggage claim area, I recognize several of my single serving friends who were on the same flight as me. I stand along side the big rotating thingy where the luggage comes out, excited to see my big red bag...

I'm standing at the baggage claim, waiting patiently, I turn to the guy next to me and say in a joking manner "man, I sure hope my luggage didn't get lost...ha ha ha..." I think the guy thought I was on drugs or he was an illegal alien, cuz he just looked at me like I was stupid. Yeah, I think he was a damn illegal. That would be the only reason he didn't attempt to hit on me or at least laugh.

ANYWAY, slowly one by one, the single serving friends from my flight faded and were gone. But little ole RevRee was still standing there looking like a lost little girl, waiting for her mom to pick her but, but forgot her and never showed up.... *cough* sorry got off track for a moment.

All of a sudden, another flight full of luggage comes pouring out of the bagging thing. I'm thinking to myself, because I'm stupid "huh, that's strange...maybe my bag will come out this time..."

NOT! My bag didn't come out! By this time, I'm starting to think there might be a slight problem...

I quickly make my way to the baggage claim office hoping to talk to someone with a heat. Well, I didn't get someone with a heart, actually I don't think this woman even had a soul! She was emotionless, cold blooded, hollow eyes with a heart of pure stone.

I tell the woman, my bag didn't come out of the machine, she just looked at me. No expression, no words, nothing. Just a cold stair. The look in her eyes, made me want to run and scream with horror saying " Never mind, my mistake, I didn't lose my bag!!! Sorry to have disturbed you!" But, I remained calm and waited for her response.

She asked me in a very shallow, chilling voice to describe my bag. As I did so, she cut me off by getting on her little walkie talkie, asking the guys down at the plane if they had seen the suitcase. They quickly responded with a "NO MA'AM"

She begins to tell me in a very scripted tone, "Your bag is lost. When and IF we find it, we can FedX it to you. But there's no guarantee that we will find it. IF we do find it, it will take up to 5 business days for it to get to you."

I look at her, tears slowly starting to well up in my big green eyes, my lower lip starts to quiver (not because I'm a cry baby, but because when I get pissed off, I tend to cry. I can't help it alright!!! My throat locks and I can't seem to speak and I get tears...shudup!)

So, I say "But...but I have nothing to wear

The old hag continues "Ma'am, we can reimburse you $50 if you chose to purchase clothing in this state.

I say "What am I going to buy with $50? I shirt? maybe some socks?!!!"

Old hag, "There's really nothing else we can do at this time. I'm sorry."

I say in a very pissed off, teeth locked together, "I'mmmmm goooooingggg toooo make a quick PHONE call, excuse me for a moment..."

I dial my momma's number, she answers "Helloooo" I start balling... "MOM!!!!! MY BAG IS LOST! I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR THEY CAN'T FIND MY BAGGGGGGGG"

Now, grant you, this is a busy airport, and I'm completely freaking out. I start pacing around the baggage machine. People are looking at me, I'm ranting and raving to my poor mother who's trying to console me.

All of a sudden, after 5 flights, this lone big red bag comes flying out of the baggage machine. I see it out of the corner of my eye and slowly make my way to it's location. My mother is still on the line, telling me everything will be alright. I softly say,
", ummm it umm looks like my bag just arrived..."

Apparently, my bag had a nice little trip around the US before making it's way back to me.

Yeah, So what? I might have overreacted a little... Bite me!


Blogger puerileuwaite said...

Well, based on your reactions, it does seem that you may have other "baggage" to deal with as well.


Just teasing. Your experience happened to me way too many times in the past, as I used to travel extensively. This is why I can't stand airports.

My theory in your case? The handlers were busy trying on your undies. So you may want to wash them again before you wear any (or at least run them under a black light to see if any foreign substances were deposited on them).

Sat Apr 14, 06:40:00 AM  
Blogger tfg said...

When you missed your flight, you didn't happen to call anyone while they were in the middle of a business meeting, did you?

Sat Apr 14, 04:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Tripe Face said...


You should have taken bag, rolled it over to evil witch lady and said "This one looks nice... I'll just take it... SOMETHING in here is bound to fit me. Buh-Bye." and walked away.

My guess is she wouldn't even care that you just hinted you were stealing someone's luggage.

Glad you are home safe. Email me with an update of the matter you asked me about awhile back.


Sat Apr 14, 07:42:00 PM  
Blogger Scary Monster said...

Me always stands by the carousel waiting for me suitcase with the expectation of a kid on christmas eve. When it pops out of the gaping maw Me always jups up and down like me won the lottery.
Getting me stuff back from the airlins be almost as much fun as the trip itself.

Stomp 'em if ya got 'em

P.S. appypolylogies for the Groucho bit. Me thinks you have excellent lips, especially when wrapped around a monster cigar.

Sat Apr 14, 08:21:00 PM  
Blogger Legaleagle said...

It could be worse -- you could have waited for three flights to be unloaded on the baggage carousel, gone to complain to the airline representative and (after you have thoroughly flipped out on her) noticed you bag in a corner of their little area because it came in on an earlier flight.....not that that's ever happened to me twice.

Sat Apr 14, 10:45:00 PM  
Blogger Little Lamb said...

It is much easier to bring the bare essentials with you when you travel. This way you can put your bag under your seat and have your belongings with you at all times, thus avoiding to you what happened.

Sun Apr 15, 08:07:00 AM  
Blogger NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Glad you got your bag back. I think your bag heard the crying, and came running to you.

Sun Apr 15, 01:11:00 PM  
Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

My God, the Lambo actually made a shred of sense!

What kind of moron checks a bag with all their clothes in it???

Sun Apr 15, 01:13:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

puerileuwaite: Because of your "theory" I've decided to throw all my panties in the trash and buy all new ones!

tfg: Who would do such a stupid thing? I sure know, I wouldn't!

Tripe: That's a genius idea and I plan on on using it next time I travel, whether I lose my bag or not!

Scary Monster: Me thinks you're scary...

Legaleagle: bwhahahaha!

Lambo: Usually when I travel, I only take the bare essentials and only bring a carry on. BUT, I was going back home and had quite a few things to bring. So, there was no choice but to check my bag.

Dr. Ken: You still single?

Dyckerson: This is not the time or the place.

Sun Apr 15, 03:25:00 PM  
Blogger SpongyBones said...

Holy Shit Batwoman, I'm glad they didn't lose your red shoes!

Mon Apr 16, 08:12:00 AM  
Blogger ajooja said...

I've never lost a bag, but I'm sure I'd react the same way.

Like others have suggested, that probably says more about people like you and me than we'd care to admit.

Of course, fuck them. Act how you want. Life's too short to worry about a bunch of assbags who comment on blogs!

Over-reaction? Fuck 'em. ;)

Mon Apr 16, 03:31:00 PM  
Blogger NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Rev: I'm afraid so. My love life took many strange turns this weekend, but yes, still single. How is the quasi-boyfriend?

Mon Apr 16, 11:57:00 PM  
Blogger will i am said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Fri Apr 20, 01:30:00 PM  
Blogger boneman said...

Best way to travel is to have everything you want to take with you in a carry-on (you'll have to mail yer gun ahead) which garantees you that it WILL go where you go.

Sun Apr 22, 09:09:00 AM  

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