Saturday, April 01, 2006

Jiffy "LUBE"

Yesterday I went to get the oil changed in my vehicle. I decided to stop at the local Jiffy "Lube". I slowly pull my car to the door of the garage as it's coming up. I see an attractive man walking to my car as I open the door to my vehicle, he says very pleasantly "Good afternoon, you need an oil change?..."

I'm a bit taken back by the looks of this man, but I do my best to answer him as "cute" as possible. I simply say "yes please..." He says, "no problem miss, I'll have "Ben"escort you to the waiting area." Just as he's saying this "Ben" walks up with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen as he says "follow me..."

By this time, I feel like this is some type of sick joke. Many things went though my mind as I was following this amazing creature to the waiting area.

Thought #1: Am I on candid camera?

Thought #2: Am I about to be involved in some type of porn?

Thought #3: Who's going to be the father of my children?

Thought #4: HAHAHAH Real Funny, APRIL FOOLS!

As I walk in to the waiting area, I notice that I can see right in to the garage. As I look out that window, I observe not 1, not 2, Not even 3 attractive man but freaking 7 extremely, overly hot men surrounding my car!

I soon realize I'm the ONLY person in the lobby. I start laughing...yes I actually start to slightly laugh as I say under my breath "thank you Lord"

I watch through the window out to the garage as all 7 of these Chip & Dale mechanics work on my car. I soon realize that I'm just staring at these guys and at one point I think I even started to drool. I finally had to snap myself out of this sexual trance and pretend to be busy, so I started looking through my purse. (what a nerd!)

About 5 minutes later, I see the hottest one of the group come walking inside. I again pretend to not notice. He walks behind the counter to the computer. All of a sudden I hear this really soft, slight southern accent say "ma'am, could I get some information from you?..."

I of course, being the complete dork that I am JUMP right up and say way to loud "SURE!" He smiles and begins to ask me a few simple questions to put in the computer (my address, phone, make of my vehicle and such).

He then says softly, "I see that you work for a tv station...what do you do?" I smile and being to tell him about what I do and how much I enjoy it. He goes on saying "I'm too shy for that kinda thing..."

I laugh and say, "You're not shy...I don't believe you!" He continues insisting that he's shy. I finally ask him, "have you ever been inside a tv station?" He says "No...never" I say "well, you should come take a tour of the station sometime..."

He gets all excited and says "that would be really cool! I could really do that sometime? The only problem is I'm kinda on a short leash..." I look up at him and say "oh no, what did you do?..." I'm expecting him to say something about his wife or girlfriend being mad at him and he can't go out...

He pauses for a moment and finally says " Well, I just got out of federal prison...and I'm on house arrest. I have to go right home when I'm done here at work"...

I am 100% in shock...I had no words. I mean, what the HELL do you say when someone tells you they've just gotten out of federal prison????

Thank GOD, I didn't give him my card!

What lesson have we learn from this boys and girls?...


Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Chip & Dale mechanics???

Sat Apr 01, 09:23:00 PM  
Blogger Denial said...

awwwhh shucks! I was getting a little turned on imagining these hunks with some grease on their face and all sweaty like and I was hoping you had a little hook up, but lol jail...too funny. Not the best luck lately.

Sun Apr 02, 12:24:00 AM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Mighty Dyckerson said...
"Chip & Dale mechanics???"

Dyckerson, stop pretending like you don't know who they are! If I remember right, weren't you a Chip & Dale back in college?

Sun Apr 02, 06:42:00 PM  
Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

No, I was an Alvin & The Chipmunks.

Sun Apr 02, 07:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Same thing happened to me at a car wash but with a bunch of hot women... ok, maybe it didn't.

But if it did it wouldn't matter where they just got out of.

Mon Apr 03, 10:10:00 AM  
Anonymous ecp said...

What'd he do? Just cuz he was in federal prison doesn't mean he didn't anything bad. Martha Stewart was imprisoned by the feds for insider trading or whatever. Maybe he didn't pay taxes since 1995. Maybe he perjured himself when he tried to protect the unwed mother of 7 by lying in her trial of stealing bread to feed her starving children. Maybe a rent-a-cop walked into the bathroom stall just as he was giving Dyckerson a mighty donkey punch as he perforated Dyck's colon with his mighty d1ck.

Mon Apr 03, 10:21:00 AM  
Blogger TheIdleReceptionist said...

That sucks! It's kinda like an apple with a worm in it. Except the apple is totally hot and available, and the worm will, like, steal from you and possibly ruin your credit.

Mon Apr 03, 11:04:00 AM  
Anonymous MONTREAL GUY said...

Since I'm not into hot strong sexy GUYS, the fact that you work in television caught my attention. I've just started reading in the BLOG world and have enjoyed your stuff. I work in TV in Montreal. Thanks for the entertaining posts.

Mon Apr 03, 02:00:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Welcome, John! Thanks for the comment!!! It's good to know that a fellow television person is reading my stuff, I am honored :-)

Mon Apr 03, 06:00:00 PM  
Anonymous ecp said...

ah hm? What am I? 2-week-old cheese?


Tue Apr 04, 01:40:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Sorry ECP! I thought you didn't even read my blog!?!?!? I am however flattered to have you! I'm still not hooking up with someone who's been to Federal Prison!

Ok, I might if I happen to see him again...

Tue Apr 04, 02:45:00 PM  
Blogger Jodi said...

I'm notifying you in advance that I'm moving to live with you Rev. The men at the garage here have a total of ten teeth between all of them and are named Cleatus or Bubba. Their beer guts really turn me on though...

Wed Apr 05, 07:57:00 AM  
Blogger RevRee said...

I honestly don't think these guys had an ounce of fat on them. So lean and soo... hard...ohhhh god...please excuse me...

Wed Apr 05, 12:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rev I hope you at least washed your hands before you typed that last comment? ;-)

I need to confess though, that was me at Jiffy Lube... part time gig when I'm not working in tv. And that federal prison comment... just a joke... I was never convicted.

Love the blog (beats the hell out of MediaLine these days)


Thu Apr 06, 12:47:00 PM  
Blogger jack said...

Yeah, that "I just got out of federal prison" line works like a charm every time.

A woman doesn't usually bother me much after that. It's easier to work into conversation than, "Sorry, lady. I'm gay." And much more polite than, "Sorry, honey. I'm just not interested."

Fri Apr 07, 05:04:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Wow, I'm not sure if I should be insulted or laugh...

Fri Apr 07, 05:12:00 PM  
Blogger Skwerly said...

Um, yeah...federal prison...I'm too nosy. I'd have to ask him what it was for. Then you can decide whether the conviction is a deal-breaker for a date.

Fri Apr 07, 05:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Zu said...

Wow, what a great idea for a shop! Someone should market that... get really hot guys to staff a garage. There would be a lot more women with highly maintained vehicles.

I've been making a similar joke for years... I take my car in for regular maintenance, oil changes etc. Every 3000 miles or so, she gets someone under her hood to lube things up. My car gets more action than i do!!

Sat Apr 22, 01:18:00 PM  

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