Thursday, October 04, 2007

Last night I died...

Hello my dear blogging friends. Have you ever had a dream that seemed so real that part of you secretly thought it really did happen? The vividness of it all still so clear in your head that you can't seem to get it out of your mind.

Well, a few months ago I had one of those dreams. It's really quite a disturbing dream I had. Some might even call it a nightmare or maybe even a hallucination. I honestly don't know what it was. But it freaked the shit out of me.

Before I tell the story of my dream, please know that some of the descriptions of my dream might not be suitable for all audiences., therefore viewer discretion is advised.

It all begins with me walking down the street of the campus of my old college. As I'm walking, I see a guy who I once knew while in college. His name was Mel...Melvin! Like who in the world would name their child Melvin???

A little real-life back story on Mel... See, Mel was a shady kinda kid. He was a year or two behind me, he grew up in the other side of the tracks and thought he was Gods gift to women and men alike and he was a compulsive liar.

He also thought that one day he would make it big as a radio DJ... He dressed in dirty wife beaters, baggy jeans and a cigarette in the back of his ear. For some reason, the also thought he was "Black" Whenever he would see me, he would grab me, lift me up and give me this huge bear hug and say "what up boo!"

This upset me out every time...But, I was stupid back then and was way to sweet to say "Listen pal, keep your filthy hands off me!"

He's also the guy who stole every single CD from the college radio station we both worked at and pawned them off for cash. Only to be found out by ME! I then made him go and purchase them all, every single fuckin' one of them again. To this day that still astonishes me, seriously!


Anyway, back to my fucked up dream...

I'm walking on campus, it's present day. I'm back at college for something, but I have no idea what. All of a sudden, Mel walks past me. He stops and says "RevRee?!!" I turn and say..."yesss....?" Just as I say yes, in my mind I'm thinking, "Holy shit, it's MEL!"

He laughs, grabs me and gives me a huge hug. I of course, because it's a fucked up dream, don't do anything but smile. He then continues to say something about him being there waiting for his "fiancee" to get finished with class. He also mentions how she's like 17 and super smart!

Because I'm such a sweet gracious person, I simply smile and ask how he's been. Just as he's about to get in to what he's been doing for the last 8 years, this little blond chick comes walking up. (she obviously isn't really a Blondie) As she walks up, Mel grabs her, puts his arm around her like it's his pride and joy, smiling, saying..."THIS, is my girl! This is Shanda!"

I smile, she smiles pleasantly we shake hands.

I finally get a word in and say that I need to be getting on my way. We say our goodbyes and part ways.

The next thing I know, I'm walking to my car and someone grabs me from behind putting a sack over my head and shoving me into a van! I have no time to react it was like lightning fast!
Suddenly I wake up and hear two people talking in the front seat. I attempt to sit up and hear someone say "But, she's so nice, we can't do this. Let's just drop her off at the next corner" I'm extremely confused at this time, and I'm thinking to myself, "FUCK"

Then I hear a male voice say, "No baby, this is the way it needs to be. If she does what we want, no one will get hurt" This time I actually say out loud "FUCK!" they turn around and see that I'm awake. Just as they turn their heads, I see that it's that slimy MEL and his childlike girlfriend! He says "well, hello there girl! sup?"

I'm speechless... (you know like in those dreams where no words come out of your mouth. You try, but nothing escapes) My mouth opens, but nothing. This really frustrates me as I hear him laugh. "Awww Rev, girl you tryin to talk? See, that's not gonna happen, cuz Shanda there gave you this new drug that takes your voice. You won't be able to speak for ohh, 5-6 hours max"

Just then, he stops the van and He turns his head again and says smiling, "Now we're gonna go have a nice meal here at White Castle. We'll be back in 20-30 minutes. You just sit want anything?....HAHAHAHHAAH" They get out of the van, shut the doors and walk inside.

My mind is going a million miles a minute. I somehow am able to bend and twist my body in to ways I never thought were possible and get right out of the handcuffs and duct tape. I figure out how to kick out one of the side windows to the van. This must have taken me 10-15 minutes, only leaving me like 5 minutes to actually get out and RUN!!!!! AHHHhhhhHHhhh

Just as my body falls to the ground, my face hitting the pavement, I see Mels feet...FUCK!!!
I quickly stand up as he says "Whatcha doin there boo?" I slowly look up at him, anger piercing from my eyes. He smiles, I raise my hands and bitch slap the mofo to the ground and RUN!!!
I hear the girl scream out his name, then I hear a gun shot. I feel something hit me, but I keep running... Then another shot, BANG! This time it hurts a little more and it starts to make me slow down.
At this point in my dream, I can feel myself slowly fading...and when I say fading, I mean dieing. I finally fall to the ground slowly, landing on my back, the sun in my eyes. Suddenly I see this big shadow over me....
It's Mel, he's looking down at me saying "Why did you run? Why the fuck did you run???"

My eyes close...then open, then mind starts slowing, my breathing starts to become faint, my heart is slowing, I'm slowing suffocating. But It doesn't hurt, it's kind of...kind of, peaceful...
Then....I died...

After I die, Mel and Shanda jump in the van and speed off.

After what feels like hours, I slowly open my eyes, the sun is still shining bright in the sky and that sky is so blue. I feel a cool breeze move through my hair as I rise from the pavement.
I look down, I see two holes in my shirt two in the back, two in the front. One over my heart, one between my breasts... But there was nothing. I had no gunshots in my body.
Then, I wake up.

How messed up am I? Seriously!


Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

I'd say that ranks about an 8.5 on the weird-shit-o-meter.

Thu Oct 04, 11:23:00 AM  
Blogger Mike from Adelaide said...

I have had similar (getting shot) dreams twice in my life. Very similar; more like getting prodded by a pool cue rather than any pain. Just remember it's just your brain going "testing testing 1-2 1-2"

Although maybe your brain goes - let's throw this in and freak her out.

Thu Oct 04, 05:20:00 PM  
Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

I once dreamt that I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone! My PILLOW!!!!

HA!! I never get tired of that joke!!!

Thu Oct 04, 06:11:00 PM  
Blogger SpongyBones said...

Dang and you forgot to call me to pick you up afterwards! That's fucked up!

Thu Oct 04, 07:19:00 PM  
Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

So Dyck, were you a little "down in the mouth" that day as a result?

Fri Oct 05, 09:32:00 AM  
Blogger Crashtest Comic said...

When I sleep I fot.

Fri Oct 05, 01:26:00 PM  
Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

You and me are going to White Castle, Boo.

Fri Oct 05, 07:22:00 PM  
Blogger Sassy Blondie said...

White Castle is a nightmare enough for anyone, Rev...

And yes, that's pretty weird.

Sat Oct 06, 06:23:00 PM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

What happened to all of those dreams of me? Do you prefer this one because the bed stays dry? Sheesh.

Sun Oct 07, 11:28:00 AM  
Anonymous jdllizard said...

I die a little each time you post and don't include a pic of your cleavage.

Sun Oct 07, 10:39:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Effortlessly Average: 8.5 you say?...that’s just about perfect. Wait, what were you talking about?...

Mike from Adelaide: I was freaked out alright! Scared to “death” if you will…ha ha ha

Dyckerson: This is not the time or place. Leave the jokes to me.

Spongy: Although in real life, I always have my phone with me…this was a dream and my cell phone was missing. That right there is a nightmare itself!

Crashtest: Wha?

Dr. Ken: Can we have slyders?...

Puerileuwaitefdjwpirhsf: Trust me, the my bed was wet…

jdllizard: Patience….

Mon Oct 08, 08:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Tripe Face said...

He shot you in the CHEST?


That prick. You have the most lovely chest on the internet and that homeboy wannabe shot your cleaveage?

I'll kill the fucker... even if it was a dream... I'll kill him.

Tue Oct 09, 01:08:00 PM  
Blogger Crashtest Comic said...

it's not on purpose--

i can't help it--but sometimes (because of crazy schedules) i find myself eating very late at night--(spicy junk food no doubt.)

& i wake up four hours later with half a meatball sandwich hanging out of my mouth & i'm farting up a storm.

one time my dog shit under the bed--and when my wife woke up she thought it was me, fottin'!

that's the first instance in history of dog blaming man.

Tue Oct 16, 04:15:00 PM  
Blogger jali said...

Great story...but...

Did you say White Castle. Mmmmm.
(I'm easily distracted)
I live in Crystal country now and OMG I'd love a couple of sliders.Mmmmm. And some fried clams. Yum

Wed Oct 17, 01:41:00 PM  
Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

Well I guess you're trying to prove what it would be like if you really did die?

Is there some sacrifice or chant we need to do to get you to post again?

Thu Oct 18, 11:13:00 AM  
Blogger Jenny! said...

Dude...your screwed in the head! Ha ha! At least you woke up!

Thu Oct 18, 01:32:00 PM  

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