Monday, October 02, 2006

As some of you may know, If you scroll down to the lower part of my blog, you'll find a voting section. Every few weeks, I'll post a new poll for my dedicated readers to cast their valued vote on many different topics. I love to get my audience interacting with my blog page and feel like their taking an active roll in what goes on around here.

That being said, never in my 1.5 years of blogging have I seen such an intense race between two of my bachelor blogging friends.

I've put together a little summary about each of them, to give you a little peek about each of the two finalists. Please take your time, do some of your own research, dig deep, deep, deep down into your soul and make your decision known.


Bachelor #1: Mighty Dyckerson He's gathered quite a following over the past year of his blogging career. He says on his blog, "In his spare time, Dyckerson enjoys under water basket weaving, littering, reading to the deaf and long walks on the beach."

Dyckerson has a another side to him. A side that many of us didn't know about until just last month. Dyckerson graced us with just a glimpse in to the ultra sensitive Mighty Dyckerson as he said, "I think love is a bond between two people that only forms after a long period of friendship and mutual respect"

Dyckerson as we know, regards himself a scholar of relationships, women and love. He was recently interview by Ed Bradley with 60 Minutes, saying "No guy in his right mind is going to divorce a good-looking chick with rich parents...I don't care how flat chested she is. It just ain't gonna happen."

Mighty Dyckerson also suggests to Ed during the interview to "hang out in the produce section and flirt with the yentas. I usually say something like, "Hey baby! Nice melons!" and then we both enjoy a good laugh..."

I had a chance to have a sit down with Dyckerson last night. Well, actually we were laying down, but ANYWAY.... I asked him what the meaning of life was. "Rev dear, life is like a severed penis." He said, "You never know when you're going to find one laying by the side of the road...but when you do, look out!"

Bachelor #2: Puerileuwaite is a fairly new member to my blogging community. But, he's certainly gotten the attention of the ladies around here in the blog world.

Puerileuwaite's guilty pleasures include: "women's' college volleyball and NFL cheerleader tryouts".

Recently Puerileuwaite was asked the following question, "How will you maintain your secret identity? His reply "Hide behind a huge pile of bullshit."

Just a few weeks ago, Puerileuwaite admitted to a very, very disturbingly dark secret. "You see, my deep, dark secret is that I finally watched ALL of the "Harry Potter" movies. And, get this, I ENJOYED them! There! I said it! I feel like dirt. And yet, I don't mind, entirely... actually I kinda like it..."

You might remember seeing Puerileuwaite on Larry King Live about a month ago. Mr. King asked him about what was his view on love. "Love doesn't have to be a battlefield, Larry. It can be a beautiful field with manicured grass, fragrant flowers, and granite markers arranged in elegantly precise formations."

Puerileuwaite claims "I'm not having sex for a year. ... I'll kiss, but nothing else," I had sex with only two men, er women...okay! they were mannish women.."

The other day, I just so happened to be at the Barnes & Noble when I over heard Puerileuwaite asking the the girl at the information desk, "Do you have a "Daily Sex: 365 Positions and Activities for Great Sex " Calendar? I need one for my office. That way I can simply point to relevant days where certain coworkers should screw themselves, and point to others where the hot babes should screw me."


As you can see ladies (and maybe some men...), this is a very hard choice. But the time has come upon us to make the final decision on "who would YOU sex up for a night?"

So, let's hear it, It's up to you now. The two finalists fate is in your hands! Good Luck, and may the best bachelor blogger Win!!!


Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Being as I am a dude, I will just stay home and masturbate, if that is okay...

Mon Oct 02, 04:15:00 AM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

Dear readers of this post, I think it is paramount that you listen to your hearts. If this - for whatever reason - is not possible, then find somebody who has one that you can listen to. Ditto for voting with your conscience.

Just remember to vote early and often. And who knows, you just may be the next lucky voter who gets to actually sleep (instead of just having sex)with yours truly.

I do know that it pays to listen - REALLY listen - to others. Not just wait to speak. That's why I'm voting for yours truly, based on the advice of many citizens - friends and strangers alike - who have suggested that I try screwing myself.

Thank you in advance for your vote, my beloved and cherished blog friends!

Mon Oct 02, 05:38:00 AM  
Blogger DykesDog said...

Wow, Puggy is really working hard for this ... up at 5:30 AM and all ... you get my vote Pug!

Mon Oct 02, 07:46:00 AM  
Blogger the dude said...

This is going to be tougher than voting between a terd sandwich and a giant douche.

Mon Oct 02, 09:20:00 AM  
Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Ladies and gentlemen, Pureielisewate is full of shit. I am clearly the best candidate. A vote for Dyckerson is a vote for truth, justice, and the guy with the biggest wang.

Mon Oct 02, 12:21:00 PM  
Blogger Willo Keays said...

I think I'm voting for Puerilewaite. i read a good deal of his blog last night - and I was impressed.

How many times in one day can I vote? AND - when does voting close?

Mon Oct 02, 04:42:00 PM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

Rev - Please forgive my temporary hijacking of the comments. But unlike that pathetic homo clown, I am a caring and considerate pug, so I want address my wonderful fans.

Dykesdog - What can I say? You already know how I feel about you! If you ever DO go straight, go straight into my arms. From that close and warming vantage point you shall see that you are already in my heart.

The Dude - I have no idea how you wound up in the middle of the clown and his twin brother. Regardless, your voting experience shouldn't be so unpleasant. So shed those 2-bookends of mediocrity and vote for me. It doesn't have to be gay. Just imagine who you would want as your "big daddy" in prison.

Willo - Thank you so much. I have adored you from afar, and know that you have suffered too many times from the clown's abuse and negligence. Stay with me, and I shall never betray your faith. To the contrary, I will devote a post entirely to you.

Willo - (p.s. - I miss your previous avatar featuring the sexy image of you complete with captivating hair flip and backpack full of wondrous delights. Please bring it back! Dashing gentlemen are in tune enough to notice and lament these foolish things. Also, please forgive this (2nd) paragraph. You are much too special for me to reply only once to your lovely comment.)

Mon Oct 02, 05:55:00 PM  
Blogger Willo Keays said...

Wow! I think I found a new guy to stalk!

{I didn't know my avatar was gone. I'll have to find a new one - trust me - you'll love it even more!}

Mon Oct 02, 06:24:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Oh dear lord, what have I done

Mon Oct 02, 06:55:00 PM  
Blogger DykesDog said...

See, Puggy is just a sweetie! Vote Pugs!

Mon Oct 02, 07:40:00 PM  
Blogger Crashtest Comic said...

I don't vote.

Last time I voted my vote ended up in a cardboard box in a Florida basement.

Although if I had to Vote, I'd vote for Joe--Joe Mama.

Mon Oct 02, 08:25:00 PM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

Willo - I'd love anything you came up with. Surprise me.

Rev - You've done a great job. I especially appreciate how you chose "Republican Red" for the clown. It was a fitting touch.

Dykesdog - Aw shucks. You made me blush! I feel like I'm 16 again, even though I'm actually 10-years older.

Crash - Please reconsider. I need your vote so that I can hopefully end up in a box of a different sort.

Mon Oct 02, 08:47:00 PM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

BTW, I say we count Mr. Fabulous' if he admits to whom he'd rather think about as he's masturbating. Crank out the vote, baby!

Mon Oct 02, 08:49:00 PM  
Blogger Crashtest Comic said...

My vote's for Pug then--
I hate when dogs beg.

Mon Oct 02, 08:50:00 PM  
Blogger Willo Keays said...

As soon as I figure out how to spell your name correctly, Pueri - i'm adding you to my blogroll - k?

Mon Oct 02, 09:19:00 PM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

Alrighty then. So far it's 3-0 in my favor, with one masturbator on the fence.

Mon Oct 02, 09:21:00 PM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

Willo - I'll be glad to do the same. Glad to finally meet you!

Mon Oct 02, 09:22:00 PM  
Blogger Crashtest Comic said...

yo mama jokes at my blog.
bring your best stuff, babay!

Mon Oct 02, 09:50:00 PM  
Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Alright, I was hoping it wouldn't come to this...but Pureirueiewaete keeps shovelling the manuer, so I have no choice.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my possession an amateur film of Pueireuwaite engaging in a montage-a-three with Screech and Mr. Belding from "Saved by the Bell."

The video is rather grainy, but it one scene, you can barely make out Purieeilewate giving Screech a reacharound while Mr. Belding smacks him with a whip. It's not very pretty.

So I ask you, ladies: Is this the kind of man you want representing your sexual fantasies?? I think not.

I'm Mighty Dyckerson, and I approve this comment.

Mon Oct 02, 09:51:00 PM  
Blogger thebillofbrothers said...

A pug or a monkey...

I feel bad for the ladies that visit your blog Rev.

What you need is a Third Party Candidate.

Tue Oct 03, 07:57:00 AM  
Blogger DykesDog said...

Puggy ... I cannot believe Mighty Dyck is resorting to fake films ... I saw that film and if you look close, real close, you can see Clown shoes, YES HIS, under da bed!

Tue Oct 03, 08:15:00 AM  
Blogger the dude said...

Sorry pug but I think I voted for Pat Buchanan somehow.

Tue Oct 03, 08:27:00 AM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

BoB - Go ahead ... throw your vote away! Who did you have in mind? Ross Perot? Ralph Nader? You? Ha!

Dykesdog - The only ones of my unworthy opponent that I'll even bother to watch are either clown snuff films, or pornos where the clown is the fluffer.

Dude - Pat Buchanan? You have strange taste in men. Why he's even more Republican than the clown!

Rev - It's obvious that I've won the contest. I've been using my Ab-Lounger and eating fresh oysters by the dozens while waiting for the official results. I am now ready for some serious lovin'. Ladies, please start drawing numbers to determine the order that I do you in. Then get ready for takeoff!

Tue Oct 03, 04:09:00 PM  
Blogger Willo Keays said...

WAIT! Wait ... wait one second here!


Well then ....Dyck. You do know that I'm a hard core Liberal Democrat - right?

For political reasons alone I need to throw my votes Peuri's way!

Tue Oct 03, 04:38:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Mr Fab: May I watch?

puerileuwaitejskjfdpsgtjsr: I think I've created a monster...

Dykes: What are you doing up at 7am? Damn that's early!

Dude: to make things easy. You have my permission to vote for me!

Dyckerson: Who are your sources for this info?

Crash: Once again, you too have permission to vote for me!

Billy: I'll vote for you, if you vote for me?...

Willo: Don't fall for dirty political ads dear. There's no proof Dyckerson's a Republican

Tue Oct 03, 08:55:00 PM  
Blogger /t. said...

mime (if only)
is a republican!

it's all over the internets


Tue Oct 03, 09:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

would it be wrong to say both because I might be leaning to both.....yeah maybe that is a bit fucked up

Tue Oct 03, 10:56:00 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Actually, I think about Rev Ree when I masturbate, so I still can't vote...

Wed Oct 04, 02:54:00 PM  
Blogger Jodi said...

How tall is puerileuwaite? I know how tall Dyck is, so this is what I'm basing my vote on.

All things are not the same when vertical!

Thu Oct 05, 05:59:00 PM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

Jodi - Thank you for asking. I am 6'1''

Thu Oct 05, 07:50:00 PM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

Of course I'm waiting for the clown to use that old "I didn't know they stacked shit that high" line.

Thu Oct 05, 07:52:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home