Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Fra-gee-lay

So I'm still waiting for the package I sent to arrive for my close friend. Today Marks the 15th business day it's been missing! I've called numerous post office stations, attempting to do some of my own investigation work and alas I've been 100% unsuccessful.

One of the many times I called the Post office, I talked to this woman who I'll call "Shawnika"... I believe I counted right when she put me on hold 10 times. Each time I'd sit listening to the same blasted Jon Bon Jovi song "You Give Love A Bad Name" I wasn't a fan of Jovi before and I'm defiantly not a fan now! But, damnit I know all the words to that freakin song!! AHHHHH! I think at one point I even started singing along as I was on hold. I honestly think they put that stupid music on to brainwash us all as we have to sit there for hours on end, waiting to get the stupid service we demand. We hear that song over and over again, and it slowly makes us forget why we even called. It's all part of their master plan to take over and rule the world!

Anyway, Each time "Shawnika" would come back on the line she'd say "What was it you wanted?" I'd explain once again, in a very calm, sweet voice the problem at hand. She would then cut me off in mid sentence and say, "why are you calling??" I'd calmly say "The package I sent out 15 days ago is missing and I need to know what steps need to be taken in order for us to resolve this problem and find my package." She again would say "hold o..." click and I'd be on hold again!!! "Shot through the heart, And you’re to blame. You give love a bad name!"

This went on as I said, 10 times!!! Finally she comes back once again asking me my name and then the name of the recipient of the package. Then she cuts me off again, "NO, it's not here...ok? Thanks for calling" CLICK The bitch hung up on me!!!

Because I always get what I want and I don't give up easily...I call the USPS customer service phone line AGAIN! This time I get a very nice gentleman who listened to my problem, got all my information and told me he would look in to the problem and give me a call back. I actually don't believe a word he said to me and I think he was full of shit.

For all I know, he was sitting right next to the lady I talked to before and they're both having a good laugh at my expense as they enjoy the contents of MY package while sitting in their cubicle! I'm going to give them one day, ONE DAY! Then I'm gonna call back again and again and again until I get some answers...!!!...

Wait, I have a phone call, please hold...
An angel's smile is what you sell you promise me heaven, then put me through hell Chains of love got a hold on me when passion's a prison, you can't break free.
You're a loaded gun There's nowhere to run No one can save me The damage is done Shot through the heartand you're to blame You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game You give love a bad name You give love a bad name Paint your smile on your lips blood red nails on your fingertips.
A school boy's dream, you act so shy You very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye You're a loaded gun There's nowhere to run No one can save me The damage is done
Shot through the heartand you're to blame You give love a bad name I play my part and you play your game You give love a bad name You give love a bad name"


BREAKING NEWS!!! THE PACKAGE HAS ARRIVED!!!!
I REPEAT, THE PACKAGE HAS ARRIVED!!!

10 Comments:

Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Praise Jeebus! Praise Him!

Wed Jan 03, 08:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't they usually go with easy listening music when they put you on hold? Now, I know Mr. Jovi's brand of music is hair/glam metal, but it's still metal. Maybe she realized that she lacked skills in customer service but the company KICKS ASS in on-hold song choice, so she went with the strength.

Wed Jan 03, 11:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nobody said that interstate cocaine smuggling was going to be easy.

Thu Jan 04, 04:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In this case, a more appropriate hold song would've been U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" or Tom Petty's "The Waiting".

Thu Jan 04, 07:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"An angel's smile is what you sell you promise me heaven, then put me through hell"

if you think about it, those are VERY appropriate lyrics to be sung on a customer service line. :D

Thu Jan 04, 12:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A few years ago I ordered the DVD sets of the 2nd season of "Star Trek" and the 6th season of "Buffy" from Amazon. They didn't arrive, and after a few weeks, Amazon shipped a replacement package out. The NEXT DAY the original package showed up. I traded in the second copy of Star Trek's 2nd season for the just-released 3rd season and gave Buffy to a friend. I love cheating Amazon.

TFG: Man, I bump into you in the strangest places.

Thu Jan 04, 01:45:00 PM  
Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

What a coincidence! My package came three times last night!

Thu Jan 04, 06:34:00 PM  
Blogger blog Portland said...

I'd much rather listen to "Blaze of Glory."

Fri Jan 05, 05:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd rather hear Wanted Dead or Alive.

Also, I'm not ashamed to admit I had that poster of Jon Bon Jovi when I was in junior high school.

Fri Jan 05, 10:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Lawrence said...

Don't you just love major corporations who really don't give a crap about customer satisfaction. It's just another number on a chart... it goes up and down. Almost as bad as the announcement of wait times for my ISP provider. "You are #4 in the queue. You're approximate wait time is 1 hour and 36 minutes." You have got to be kidding me!!!

Wed Jan 10, 03:41:00 PM  

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