Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Recently I've had a lot of alone time, that's led to me doing a lot of thinking, that's led to me coming up with some pretty f'ed up stuff. Recently I had the most amazing idea of all time! It's so amazing, that I'm already talking with a publishing house in hopes of a book deal!

That being said, I thought I'd test my little idea out on my blogging buddies!

The title of my book will be...

So here's the deal, using everyday household products for sexual pleasure can liven up your sexual experience. The possibilities are endless!

With that thought, I've taken the time to put together a small list, of just a few of the everyday items a couple could use.

  • Masking tape: This can be very sexual if done in the right manner. Having the female carefully wrap each of her fingers slightly above the fingertip so as to leave the edges of the masking tape exposed. She mounts her partner from the back side while they're laying on the bed/floor/ground and every so softly and seductively traces her fingers across his back and shoulders.

*Another fun little activity is to take the masking tape and taping his or her mouth shut.*

  • Drinking Straw: I personally like to call this the "female blow job" This is when the male takes an everyday drinking straw (preferably a new one) and gently blows into the straw down in between her lovely thighs pointing directly at her sweet spot.

  • Sharpie: This can be used as a very important tool when wanting to map out each and every detail of what you want to do to your partner. You can also use different colors for each area of your mates body to make a colorful display of sexual words and directions.

  • Scissors: One of the more popular utensils as you can imagine. With this tool you can slowly cut away each piece of clothing your lover is wearing or slowly trim away unwanted hair that may be in the way.

  • Koran: Read out loud all the naughty parts and watch your partner go wild! Allah wills it!!

  • Spatula: Just another tool to tap dat ass!

  • Post-it Notes: Who wouldn't get excited at the sight of post-it notes with dirty little messages covering all the special parts of your sexual partners body?!

  • Salad Tongs: If you and you're mate are really daring and want to be totally inappropriate.

These are just a few of the many, many, MANY useful household tools that can be used to build your very own, customized Sex Bomb! If none of the above items caught your eye, try using, Elmers glue, White-out, Rubber gloves, Pipe cleaners, Clothes pins, Rubber bands or a Spray bottle!

Copyright 2006: RevRee Inc.


Anonymous sleepwait said...

my sex bomb went off before i got to the end, i swear this never happened to me before!

Wed Dec 13, 01:42:00 AM  
Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

I once saw MacGyver make a sex bomb. It was all bubblegum, chicken wire, and toothpicks.

Wed Dec 13, 10:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said... I need to bring the Sharpie's or are you?

Wed Dec 13, 11:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stay away form the eating utensils..please!

Wed Dec 13, 11:39:00 AM  
Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Sorry, but no chick is getting anywhere near my wang with a pair of scissors. Ain't gonna happen.

Wed Dec 13, 12:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, but "no can do" on the masking tape. Last time I allowed that activity, the beotch used it to pick up a strange hair and had it analyzed at the lab. This proved it was from a 3rd party. Unfortunately since we hadn't recently done a threesome, she took her rage out on me with a salad shooter and a turkey baster. It was painful, but the presentation was exquisite in a Martha Stewart "prisony" sort of way.

Thu Dec 14, 07:07:00 AM  
Blogger the dude said...

For even more fun...get the permanent marker sharpies. Then you can repeat all your disgusing wants.

Fri Dec 15, 09:36:00 PM  
Blogger Chief Scientist said...

For some of those I also recommend a dental dam.

Sat Dec 16, 12:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't forget the cooking oil.

Sat Dec 16, 10:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My favorite involves a barstool, a tick of butter, and a cheese grater. It hurts like Hell, but you'll never have felt so alive...

Sun Dec 17, 12:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How could you forget the belt sander and the feather duster?

Sun Dec 17, 07:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about the whisk? I once poured the contents of a spent rubber into a bowl, whisked it up with some eggs, and made a lucky lady some special scrambled eggs. She said they tasted "spunky," which I took as a complement.

Tue Dec 19, 04:38:00 PM  
Blogger Crashtest Comic said...

Drinking straw, eh?

Wed Dec 20, 08:52:00 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home