Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Safe Word

Today I'll be exploring the world of "safe words" and it's meaning. What's a "safe word" you ask?

Well, I've done some research and have come to the understanding that a "safe words" is a codeword to unambiguously communicate a physical or emotional state when approaching, or crossing, a physical, emotional, or moral boundary. Some "safe words" are used to stop the "scene" outright.

Like hypothetically if someone were to accidentally find a pair of purple fur handcuffs and accidentally handcuff another person and the accidental encounter got a little out of hand... one could use a "safe word" like "Apple Sauce" in order for the other person to know a line was about to be crossed and to stop and regroup. Or as stated above, end the scene and take 5.

According to Wikipedia this SAFEword is usually agreed upon before playing a scene by participants. They are generally used under the guiding philosophy of safe, sane and consensual. That makes me feel better...

Apparently many organized BDSM groups (they have organized BSDM groups???, REALLY? Creepy!) have standard "safe words" that all members agree to use to avoid confusion at organized play events. WOW! We wouldn't want things to get out of hand or anything during the organized gang bang! Ok, I know I just asked this a second ago, but I'm actually a little disturbed that there's organized BDSM groups. I honestly don't know what to say.

Apparently there's many ways to use a "safe word". For example you could use colors. Like, if a 'top' (what's a top?) was to ask the 'bottom' (what's a bottom?) "What is your color?" They could say "RED!" which I think mean, no holds barred. I could be wrong?

It was also interesting to find out in my extensive research that "safe words"are not always used in sexual situations. Like, during the filming of "The Blair Witch Project", the actors used the "safe word" of "taco" to indicate that they were going to break character and discuss the progression of the film. Hmmm interesting...

Now, I'll be completely honest with you and admit that Phlip and I do have a "safe word". Have we ever used said "safe word"? That I can not go in to at this time. But I will tell you that I truly believe every couple should agree upon a "safe word".

In closing, my only advice to you is please, please don't pick a "safe word" that is hard to pronounce like on the movie "Euro Trip" where the "safe word" was "FLǕGGȦNKđ€ČHIŒβǾLʃÊN"

Yeah...I know right!