Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Wookin' pa lub in all the wrong places

So a friend of mine I'll call him "Phee-lo" has this chick friend who has a really nasty habit. I'll talk about that habit in just a moment.

First I'd like to explain a little bit about this young friend of his...I'll call her "Little miss can't be wrong" This friend is only 22...that really should explain it all, but Its more fun to go in to some detail as to who she is.

Being only 22 years old, she requires a lot of attention. I thought I sent a lot of text message....but this chick could kick my ass if there were ever a text messaging war.

Once you befriend her, she sticks on you like white on rice. She doesn't use q-tips after taking a shower which in my book is just plain wrong.

(Don't ask me how I know this...I just do.... Listen, I gotta find stuff to write on my blog somehow!) Honestly, who doesn't use Q-tips?

She smells like Secret deodorant mixed with body odor and she has nose hairs....yeah....gross!

Alright, on to her nasty habit. For some reason, sometime in her life someone told her that it was OK to meet strange, ugly, older men online and then have sex with them.

I had the opportunity to actually see a picture of one of these strange men. I was shocked, I was appalled, I was sickened and a little scared. I had all these emotions overpower me all at the same time once I took one glance at this photo.

I honestly think he used his prison mug shot as the photo he posted on whatever online dating/hook-up site they met on.

Now, please brace yourself before going any further with this blog post. The picture you are about to see, might cause permanent emotional damage to you and anyone around you who might see this.


This dude looks like a serial rapist with super bad hygiene!!! He looks like he just got out of prison and did a line of blow...
What the hell is she thinking? She's 22, kinda cute (minus the body odor and nose hair)...I would say smart, but after this, I'm finding it really hard to believe that.
Seriously kids these days! I just want to slap her around a little bit and try to knock some sense in to her. I know, I know...violence isn't the answer...it just seems right sometimes...

Now, I'm sure some of you are wanting to ask "But RevRee, what if he was hot?" Well, if he was hot, I'd be clapping my hands in a standing ovation and congratulate her on such a nice piece of hot man! But, obviously that isn't the case.
What? Stop looking at me like that...you're thinking the same thing!


Blogger Robot Zombie Vampire said...

I think this akin to how you like slumming with Dyckerson from time to time. By comparison, even the most average guy will seem the prince after letting one of these dudes grunt and wiggle all over you.

Mon Jan 21, 11:48:00 PM  
Blogger Sassy Blondie said...

Oh Rev...what the hell? Sounds like one of my coworkers who uses the Craigslist.com personals!

Tue Jan 22, 05:39:00 PM  
Blogger Christie said...

I don't understand online dating. I've heard horror stories about people getting axed to death after hooking up online. Whatever happened to sleeping with your co-workers or screwing the guy you just met at a bar?

Tue Jan 22, 06:13:00 PM  
Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

That young lady should be ashamed of herself!

(Can I have her number?)

Tue Jan 22, 06:25:00 PM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

That is scary, and why it's so important to sleep with a stranger from the Internet that you can trust. Someone perhaps, who possibly doesn't have a venereal disease. Maybe it can be that special someone who is witty, charming, and has a wonderful sense of humor. A wonderful guy who appreciates all that you have to offer, with no regard for his own safety, honor, or the ultimate cost. I'll ask around.

Tue Jan 22, 09:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey why dont you call me and talk to me please.



Wed Jan 23, 01:19:00 PM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Zombie: Dyckerson is more of a screamer...

Sassy: Craigslist has personals?? bwhahahahah wow!

Christie: I admit I dated a guy I met on the internets once. But see the difference is, he was hot!

Dyckerson: This isn't the time or place... (212-479-7990)

puerileuwaiteperuweituskdfh: So we're on for tonight, then?...

Wed Jan 23, 05:54:00 PM  
Blogger The [Cherry] Ride said...

Hot. They can exchange nose hair stories.

Fri Jan 25, 11:14:00 AM  
Anonymous jdllizard said...

Thats just a bad photo of me, I was in a hurry and didn't have time to... ummmm... clean up, ya thats it, clean up. I really look much better in person, and have totally ditched the axe murderer personality.

Sat Jan 26, 03:11:00 AM  
Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I'd say that was my favorite Revree post ever.

Someone has got to tell this chick to take care of those nose hairs. YUCK!

Mon Jan 28, 01:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Jason In Atlanta said...

...and by the way its "wookin pa nub"


Mon Jan 28, 12:26:00 PM  
Blogger The Middle Lifer said...

I was wondering where are your melon pics? Seems like its been awhile.

Tue Jan 29, 08:09:00 PM  
Blogger Tyler Durden said...

So he looks like a mass murderer but maybe he is hung like an animal and makes her squeal like its the 4th of July. Can we get this girl a bar of soap and a nose hair trimmer?

Wed Jan 30, 04:28:00 PM  
Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

Well thanks a lot. Not all of us can be supermodels ya know. I hadn't finished primping after my workout!

And yeah, I use Q-tips. It's the only way to get it perfectly clean inside the urethra.

Wed Jan 30, 07:05:00 PM  
Blogger SpongyBones said...

If I let my nose hairs grow and stop using qtips would you go out with me and pretend that I look as good as he does .... just think rev you could feel 22 all over again!

Sat Feb 02, 01:03:00 PM  

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