Monday, May 28, 2007

Yes... Im a Twirling Star!

Friends, I am obsessed with the twirling baton. Yes, I just said "twirling baton"...

For those of you who don't know what a "baton" is, it's a light metal rod that is used for keeping time, twirling and juggling in a marching band.

I've posted a few pictures as you'll see throughout this blog post. My hope for you, is after reading this post and viewing the pictures, you'll understand the true greatness of baton twirling.

I've been obsessed with batons for years. Ever since I was about 8 years old. Now, I'm sure some of you might think this is some type of "sexual" thing for me. Well, I'm here to tell you it wasn't....NOT when I was a little girl...SICKO!!

It's only been recently that I've noticed how "sexual" this device could be perceived. I mean, what am I suppose to think when I read the following description for a baton

"This chrome-plated steel shafts and the hexagon ball & tip will help stop the baton from sliding out of your delicate fingers and rolling on the floor when dropped."

Yeah, my thoughts exactly...

Please be warned that if you ever do attempt to master the art of baton twirling, it could be deadly or at least kinda painful. As I learned in my many years of secret baton twirling... black eyes, bruised foreheads and a fat lower lip isn't out of the question. (those hexagon balls & tips are dangerous, trust me on this...)

Whenever this happens, I usually tell people, I had some rough sex that got a little out of hand. Most of the time, they seem to drop it after that...

Let's face it folks,it's like a miniature pole dance. The entire act spews sexual undertones and eroticism. Let me break it down for you.

You've got the hat, which displays authority and would turn anyone on. Then you have the little tunic/jacket resembling some type of military attire, again, big turn on.

Then we have the tight, boy cut shorts, followed by a pair of sexy bare legs, ending in white cowboy boots. (Which by the way, in my opinion are like the stiletto heels for marching band majorettes.)

Some nights, when no one's looking, I secretly look at different baton twirling wedsites hoping to find the shiniest, steel shafts with balls & tips to die for. Just the thought alone, sorta sends tingles through my body and I get all kinds of excited, WOO!

I've been asked "But, why baton twirling RevRee?" My answer might make some of you uncomfortable, but I can only answer this with complete honesty... dexterity, flexibility and strength for masturbation and hand jobs...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can you juggle two balls with the other hand at the same time? 'Cuz if so, I want you under MY big top.

- The Pug

Mon May 28, 06:47:00 PM  
Blogger tfg said...

What he said.

Wed May 30, 04:10:00 AM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

Just for the record, I did leave the first anonymous comment, but unfortunately NOT the second one. However I DID coauthor "Revelations" and came up with the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalyspe" concept.

Wed May 30, 07:29:00 AM  
Blogger RevRee said...

Seriously, who would go and post such a pathetic, psychopathic, LAME, totally FUCKED UP comment like that and hide behind an anonymous user name?

Sorry folks, I had to go and erase such stupidity.

Wed May 30, 09:32:00 AM  
Blogger The [Cherry] Ride said...

That reminds me of this one time, at band camp, when I...

Ah, nevermind. My dear RevRee, only you could take something as innocent as a baton and turn it into something so deliciously naughty.

Fri Jun 01, 10:28:00 AM  
Blogger NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Keep twirling, and don't let anything slip out of your "delicate hands."

Mon Jun 04, 03:35:00 PM  
Blogger Scary Monster said...

Iffin ya want, me could quite possibly gather a marching band together to orchestrate to the syncopatic rythms of yer baton twirling. Actually they be a Mariaci band, but me thinks you could twirl to a mexican beat.


btw did you enjoy the vid?

Tue Jun 05, 10:09:00 AM  
Blogger Scary Monster said...

OOPs me missed the h in MariacHi band.

Not only do me talk like a five year old mental midget me spells like a monkey tryin to hump a chihuahua.

Tue Jun 05, 10:11:00 AM  

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